This is an SND rated PG, inspired by Remember Love and The Rest is
Silence this story takes place instead of TLBL) Poem
‘The Path That Leadeth On’ by Helena Petrova Blavatski and the lyrics to
‘If’ by David Gates no copyright infringement intended.
There are many paths we take each day, many decisions that may change
our lives. ‘Forks in the road’ as-it-were and when we take one, the
question arises ‘what if we had taken the other path?’ Sometimes the
outcome is clear but at others not so clear. For Vincent and Catherine I
ask the question “What if?”
What If Vincent had not found Catherine that night –
what would her life have been three years later? She would not have
faced dangers and he would not have been there to help her after the
attack, nor would she be changed by his love, or he by hers. In Remember
Love the ‘Image of Catherine within Vincent’ had told him “Nothing
is ever lost we are all on the same journey. We create that journey for
each other.” So with that in mind and with the idea that all paths
lead on to the same destination – was their love, even on another path
meant to be …?
The path that leadeth on is lighted by one fire:
The light of daring, burning in the heart.
The more one dares the more he shall obtain.
Helena Petrova Blavatsky
*****
Violent emotion drove him – primal and mindless. His eyes saw
threats in every shadowed corner – his ears heard only his own anguished
cries and angry roars echoing off the rock walls. He was alone, totally
alone; his only security the cold rock wall at his back. The fear of his
unknown surroundings tore at him, as his claws tore at the constricting
clothes covering his body, tearing at his own flesh. He was trapped in
the darkness. All awareness of who he was, was gone, leaving him with no
knowledge of how he had come there, nor did he know how to escape. He
roared in frustration at the dark …
Suddenly he became aware of someone approaching and a scent assailed his
nostrils; his senses perceived it as female and vaguely familiar, a
potential mate? Yet familiar or not, potential mate or not, his rage
overcame his need for copulation. She was unwanted here, an intruder.
How dare she come near! This was HIS domain.
He charged, a murderous roar tearing at his throat. One thought on his
mind. KILL!
“Vincent!”
He paused, claws raised. Something within him was fighting its way to
the surface.
“Vincent!!!” the cry came again.
Vincent heard the scream and blinked, looking down at the pale,
beautiful face turned up toward him – that of the woman he loved more
than life.
Catherine?
Suddenly he was assailed with the horrifying realization of what he was
about to do. Like waking from a nightmare – with the shock of ice water
thrown in his face Vincent’s last thought before he collapsed was “I
must protect Catherine!”
“No! No! Not without me!” A desperate cry, echoed from far
away, pulling him back from the brink.
Catherine!
He was himself again, but something was different – very different. He
heard Catherine’s anguished cries, commanding him to come back to her,
but he couldn’t obey, nor did he want to. Knowing him had only caused
Catherine pain, and the shame that he had almost killed her caused him
to retreat further. She was better off without him.
He was tired, so very tired, but he knew he must do one last thing
before he left her forever. With determination and Catherine’s welfare
his only concern he let go of the bond they shared, as he had tried to
do when Catherine had wanted ‘A happy life’.
“Nooooo!” he heard Catherine scream, as he felt something
break deep within him. He bid her a silent farewell and as he felt her
lips pressed to his he ceased his long struggle with life and gladly
went into the waiting dark, then all went black and he let go of life …
*****
He drifted … drifted …
He felt as though he was only dreaming. There was no time, no feeling
and no light – but there was peace…
He heard a voice – Catherine’s voice, strangely deep and resonant and
emotionless, echoing around him but he knew it wasn’t Catherine. “You
could not do it. You could not harm her. You gave up your own life to
save her.” Slowly a shimmering being of light materialized before his
eyes, pushing back the darkness. He knew who she was. – The image of
Catherine within him.
“My connection to Catherine is gone; I can no longer feel her within me.
How can you be here?”
“I am that part of her that remains. An echo of what once was.”
“Why are you here?”
“To do your bidding,”
“Then let me rest please.” Vincent wanted only peace now he had given up
everything he held dear all he wanted was to bathe in this peace.
Unable to fathom the cryptic meaning of her words, Vincent asked what
was foremost on his mind. “And Catherine, is she well, is she all
right?”
”
“Time has ceased for you but for her it has continued. She has what you
always wished for her. She has ‘A Happy Life’
Anxious to be assured, he demanded. “Show me! I must see. Please?”
“I cannot do it alone.”
“Then tell me what I must do?”
“Think of her.”
Vincent closed his eyes and thought of Catherine. He let his mind search
for that spark of her that was once within him. The darkness dissolved
and he stood in daylight on a beach, but he could not feel the heat of
the sun, or the breeze from the sea. But there before him was Catherine
and a man Vincent did not recognize and this small family was enjoying a
swim, and with them were two children. A boy and a girl, they were all
laughing and splashing in the sea.
“I don’t understand is this real or a dream? How long has it been …”
“For you there is no time. But it has been ten years for those you
loved. ”
“But what of my world, Father, and all those I love?” Fear
struck him like a knife; he hadn’t considered the repercussions of his
death on others. His only thought at the time was for Catherine.
“She made sure they were kept safe.” The emotionless voice asserted
Vincent understood finally but was concerned. “She cannot see me?”
“No. You are no longer of this world. You are a shadow – an illusion,
glimpsed from afar, or from the corner of the eye.”
As he watched the woman he would always love, frolicking with her family
the sun began to set and Catherine picked up the little girl. The man
put his arm around Catherine and kissed her and she smiled up at him.
The little girl was transferred to the man’s arms and the older boy ran
on ahead, toward a mansion higher up on the sand.
“A Happy Life,” Vincent whispered,
“Your sacrifice was a worthy one. She is happy, but she will always
mourn your loss.” The resonant voice echoed beside him.
“She is happy,” he murmured, his own heart aching, but full of joy for
Catherine’s happiness.
Half way up the hill Catherine stopped, and turned back, to where
Vincent stood, as though she could see him – or sense him. The happy
smile on her face faded, and a shadow passed across her face.
“She grieved your loss greatly. But you gave her life and your death
protected her from a greater danger.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Just know that she would have been lost to you, had you lived. No
matter how much you would have wished it otherwise.”
“She deserved so much more than I could ever give her. To know that she
was saved and happy is all I need, to give me peace” he affirmed
truthfully.
Vincent turned back to Catherine and she was still looking in his
direction. Suddenly the boy came running from behind and took her hand
pulling her with him. Catherine bent and kissed him on the top of his
golden head, and then with an arm over his shoulder walked toward the
house.
Vincent stood watching Catherine walk away as his companion said. “There
is more you must see …” And she lifted her arm and all went dark.
Slowly a muted light appeared. Vincent began to recognize the room the
books and the spiral staircase. “Father’s study,” He murmured. As the
vision before him cleared he saw that someone was seated in Father’s
favorite chair, but it wasn’t Father. It was a woman, an old woman. Her
silver head was bowed and she was softly reading to a little girl
sitting on her lap, from an old and well read book. Suddenly another
child of about six years came running into the room.
“Grandma they’re here, they’re here.” the boy declared excitedly.
The woman looked up, and Vincent’s heart constricted painfully. Her face
was changed little by age, and her head was now covered by silver hair
but her eyes had never lost their glow. “Catherine,” he breathed.
And as he watched a young couple came into the chamber, the young woman
was carrying a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. Behind them came
other children and young adults. The little girl climbed down from
Catherine’s lap as the young woman came to her and handed her the baby.
“Here he is Grandmamma,” the young woman said.
Catherine took the warmly wrapped infant, lovingly in her arms, and
cradled him close. Placing a gentle finger into the blanket, to touch
the tiny cheek, she smiled with tears forming in her eyes, and she spoke
with a catch in her voice. “Hello Vincent. Oh, you are as beautiful as
your grandfather.”
Suddenly becoming aware of the significance of this comment, Vincent
made his way to stand behind Catherine and look over her shoulder, into
the face of the newborn. He gasped when he saw the child’s face. It was
the mirror image of his own. He was beyond words. How could this be? He
turned a questioning look on his guide. “How is this possible?”
The white Lady smiled tolerantly. “The boy you saw was your
son.”
“My – son!” Vincent was unable to believe that this could be
real; it must be some delusional dream after all.
“Yes it was he who helped her have the will to go on.”
“My son, I don’t understand.”
“Just know that you live in your children and grandchildren, on this
path and you are never forgotten.”
Vincent looked back at the scene of Catherine holding her grandchild
his grandchild and he was content. “Truly ‘A Happy Life’,” and his
heart was so full. Catherine was in the midst of her children and
grandchildren. He could ask for nothing more.
The light of the room began to fade and reluctantly he turned and
followed the glowing white apparition that was the spirit from his
dreams. The love of his life was left behind him, but his heart was full
and his soul at peace.
When they were again in darkness she stopped and faced him, all around
was blackness, she the only light. “And for yourself, do you ask
nothing?” his guide asked.
“What else could I want? What you have shown me are all my dreams come
true.”
“You do not wish anything for yourself?” she asked
“No. I am content let me rest.”
“And if there was another path? You have lived but one.” The apparition
declared.
“My life is over. Please let me rest.”
“There are many paths. If there were another path where the one you
loved is still in pain, what then, would you wish to take your rest or
bring her from the dark?” the ghostly apparition declared.
“Another path, where Catherine is in pain?”
“Yes as in the path where you died as a child.”
Vincent remembered the ‘dream’ he had had the first time he had met this
Spirit. ‘the world where he had died as a child and everything was
changed’.
“But that was a dream.” He declared
“Was it?”
“I don’t understand.”
“What would you do if the tortured soul you saw then was in reach of
your help?”
Vincent didn’t need to think about it. “I would do anything … and
everything I could do, to bring her peace.”
Suddenly he stood on Catherine’s balcony, just as he had in the ‘dream’
looking through the curtains. In the bed, Catherine tossed and turned,
tortured by dreams and he could feel her terror.
A white draped arm lifted toward the tortured young woman. “In this path
she was found by others.”
“If she was found, why is she in such pain?” he asked aching to comfort
her.
“You were not there to give her peace – to comfort her – to give her
strength – to give her hope.”
“Please, how can I help her?” the need to go to Catherine was almost
uncontrollable.
“She does not know you. She never knew you,” came an echo from the long
ago dream.
Catherine cried out in her sleep, and Vincent felt her fear and had to
fight to stay on the balcony. “I can feel what she is feeling! “ He
gasped, as echoes of terror lanced through him, and he wanted to rush to
her, to comfort her, but he could not move.
“Let me go to her, please?” he pleaded
“You choose this path then, or do you take your rest and go to the end
of life’s journey. But know this, there is no other path in which you
did not die as a child. You must know also that your memories from that
other life will fade in time.”
“I will never forget Catherine.”
“You will forget. It will be as a dream. The mind cannot bear the burden
of two lives.”
“I don’t care. I will do anything to ease Catherine’s pain, let me try.”
“Come then…”
*****
“If a man could be two places at one time I’d be with you
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving, spinning slowly down to die
I’d spend the end with you, and when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away.
Cathy woke with a start and sat up, her heart pounding. The nightmare
had returned – the men throwing her into the van – and she relived that
terrible night all over again. It had happened exactly two years ago to
the day. She knew that date very well April 12th Tom’s dinner for the
Architects, the argument and then leaving alone to catch a cab. Waking
up in the hospital, hearing her father’s gentle caring voice from beside
her bed, he sounded so tired, frightened and so very worried. Then when
the surgeries began and when Tom came to see her between the first and
second surgeries, his face was filled with pity and distaste. She knew
it was because she was no longer a trophy to take to parties or show off
to his friends, and it hurt more than the knife had as it cut into her
flesh that terrible night. How could she ever feel safe again? When
would she ever be free of fear?
Cathy had lost everything since then. Tom, her father, and the law firm
had tired of her ineptitude and bought her father’s share, and now she
had nothing, only money, and that brought little comfort. Now she had no
job and no life and no family. She felt completely alone, and for most
of the time since that terrible night, she had withdrawn from the world,
a world that represented only pain and loss. She had thought of ending
it all many times, and if it hadn’t been for Jenny and Nancy who had
stayed faithful and in constant touch, she would have. Even Steven Bass
had tried to help, but when he saw what a mess she was in, he gave up
any thought of re kindling their relationship. Now she just lived from
day to day secluded in her apartment, going out only rarely, and always
in a constant state of fear…
*****
When Vincent opened his eyes he was in his chamber, and the comforting
sound of the pipes and the distant rattle of a train; were a balm to his
soul. His mind felt sluggish and he couldn’t remember how he came there,
but visions of a beautiful smiling face, with deep green eyes, sparkling
with love and laughter, floated just out of reach. He knew her, he loved
her.
“Catherine …” he heard his own voice and it sounded weak and
hoarse.
A hand came to his forehead and he turned to see the person sitting
beside him.
“Father, I had a dream.”
“Oh Vincent, we’ve been so worried.” Father murmured tiredly, strain
etched on his pale face.
“Father, what happened?”
“You’ve been very ill Vincent. We almost lost you.”
“I have no memory of how I came to be here.”
“Rest now, Vincent. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal. We’ll talk
later when you are stronger. In time you will remember everything”
Father smoothed his brow as he spoke, and Vincent drifted back to sleep.
When he awoke again, his mind was clearer and awash with memories of his
life with Catherine.
“Father, Where is Catherine?”
“Catherine, Vincent who is Catherine?”
Suddenly Vincent’s mind heaved like a ship on a wind tossed sea.
Catherine where was Catherine? He remembered finding her in the Park and
the time she had spent Below, two years of great pain, mixed with a
greater joy. He remembered their growing love for one another as they
lived through frightening and wonderful times. Then his own death and
Catherine’s ‘Happy Life’ –his son and grandson – almost too much to
believe.
“Father, what happened to me?” He asked.
Father looked away, his face a mask of sorrow and regret. “You were in a
terrifying state. Such agony and rage, I don’t think I’ve ever been more
afraid in my life – for you – for all of us.”
“Because of what I might do …” Vincent replied without remose, he
remembered his feelings of rage and confusion and his need to get out of
the tunnels to go to Catherine. But what had happened here without her?
“Was it because of what I did to Paracelsus?” He asked gently, knowing
it would be a very sore point for Father.
Father’s face darkened, his jaw clenched. “What John tried to do to you
was monstrous. To use his drugs to try and stop you, only made you
worse…”
“Tell me,”
Father then told Vincent a completely different series of events than he
remembered happening concerning Paracelsus. When his drug producing
operation was finally discovered by the tunnel folk, Vincent had gone to
stop him and had been drugged. But unlike before when Catherine had
brought him back from that terrible place, Vincent had killed Paracelsus
under the influence of the drug. This had sent Vincent into a mental and
physical decline, and without Catherine to cling to, he had almost been
lost.
Vincent was no longer affected by the uncertainties he had felt in that
other realm, nor was he sorry for what he had done to an evil
manipulative man. He felt completely in control now and at peace. More
than he had ever been in his life. He closed his eyes and slept again.
When he awoke, Father was still sitting beside his bed, reading.
“Father?” When he looked up, Vincent continued, “You are always by my
side when I awake from an illness. Do you ever sleep at such times?”
Father’s weary face lit with a gentle smile, “Rarely.” then he lifted a
cup to Vincent’s lips, “Here drink this. You need fluids.” Vincent drank
and laid back feeling very tired.
He heard the words of the White Spirit, concerning the
different paths, and he finally accepted that it had not all been a
dream, but what in this ‘Path’ was different?
His mind wandered to all the incidences where Catherine had been
instrumental in saving either him or Father, and even their world. He
needed to know what had happened here without her help.
He remembered one particular incident in which Catherine had been
invaluable, and he asked. “Father, would answer some questions for me?”
“Of course Vincent, what do you want to know?”
“I have a memory of being in a cave-in, in the Maze,”
Father shook his head. “There was a cave-in in the Maze some time ago,
but no one was caught in it. It’s now unreachable.”
“There were two children, Eric and Ellie. Eric fell and we went in to
help him. The walls collapsed and we were trapped.”
“There are no children here with those names Vincent, and no one was in
the Maze when it collapsed. It must have been a dream.”
“Yes, it must have,” Vincent remembered sweet Ellie had died during the
epidemic. Perhaps her life might have been spared too, but what of
Dimitri?
“Father did I bring a young man from Russia here last year? I found him
at the docks. He was ill.”
Father’s expression became sorrowful. “Yes, Dimitri, poor boy he brought
an epidemic with him, but Peter was able to bring enough medical
supplies to help us, but sadly Dimitri died.”
“And those in the tunnels?”
“They all recovered. Dimitri was our only fatality,” Father said sadly.
“So Ellie is still alive out there somewhere,” Vincent murmured to
himself.
Father I remember a time when you went Above, and I couldn’t find you,
what happened to you then?”
Father’s face fell and his jaw clenched. “I would rather not talk about
it.”
“Please Father,” Vincent was concerned and put a hand over his father’s,
but the fact that he was here Below told Vincent that even without
Catherine something must have occurred to return Father safely.
“I was accused of the murder of a man I knew when I lived Above. Alan
Taft, a lawyer.”
“What happened?” Vincent encouraged gently, squeezing his father’s hand.
“I spent six months in prison …” Father stated coldly, his expression
grim.
Vincent was shocked and saddened. “Father, no! What happened? How did
you come to be released? ”
Father brightened a little. “Devin, Devin saved me. He returned and was
working for the District Attorney’s Office. When he came down here to
see us, you were beside yourself with worry, but you knew I was still
alive and told him that I was missing. He found me, and found evidence
to prove me innocent and arranged for my release. It was too late
however to say goodbye to Margaret.” Father was obviously still
heartbroken.
Vincent remembered that it had been Catherine who had found Father,
before he went to prison and had reunited him with Margaret before
her death. How different life had been without Catherine.
“Sleep Vincent, you are still very weak.”
He slept again, his dreams filled with visions of Catherine – alone,
troubled and in pain.
“The mind cannot hold the memories of two lives – you will forget in
time.” Vincent heard the words echo in his mind and he vowed he
would never forget Catherine…
When he awoke again he asked for his journal and a pen. After reading
all the previous entries, he had written before his illness Vincent
began to understand how his ‘former’ life had been without Catherine.
They were entries similar to those he had made before Catherine had come
into his life – bland and uneventful. It was the life of a scholar or
philosopher. A man who had enormous love to give and dreamed of the love
of a woman, but who had had the same experiences as a youth, which had
scarred him, and he had never experienced the great joy that had come
with finding Catherine. Some of those memories were beginning to fade
and those from this ‘path’ were becoming more vivid. Fearful that he
might forget too much he wrote feverishly in his journal, documenting
his life with Catherine in that other life. He knew he would never
forget her but he could, and most likely would forget the events that
had happened on that other path, even the way to and from her apartment.
He needed to know that events had not changed too much for those he
loved or that Catherine loved, so he wrote every moment he was awake.
Leaving himself clues to follow when he was well again and could go in
search of her, or others like Ellie and Eric. He could not leave them
alone out in the city and he was determined to help them any way he
could.
*****
Vincent was seated at his desk writing as usual, he had documented
everything he could remember and was just leaving himself a few lines of
encouragement.
He flipped through the pages again reading his own words he was sure
that the ‘Spirit’ was wrong. He would always remember Catherine, even if
he forgot details of their life together. He would always be drawn to
her. He lifted his head and closed his eyes and whispered, almost like a
prayer, “Catherine…”
****
He read again the words written in his own hand even though they were
words he barely remembered putting there …
All that is written in these pages must not be forgotten. Study
every detail memorize them. The time is coming near I must be there in
time to save her – Catherine…
It had been almost a month since his illness and for days now he had
been feeling a strange pull Above. He understood now these strange
impulses and emotions that were not his own and what it all meant, even
if he did not comprehend every detail this journal had revealed a great
deal to him. Now that he was whole again he could not wait. He intended
to go there tonight, even if Father tried to stop him.
Father came into his chamber. “Ah Vincent, you’re feeling better I see.”
Closing the book Vincent said “Yes, Father.”
“Mary asked if you might like some tea? “
“No, thank you.”
Father sat beside him, and placed a hand over Vincent’s, which rested
protectively on the journal. “You seem very preoccupied these days, what
troubles you?”
“My memory is not whole yet Father and it concerns me,”
“Of course, it will take some time for you to regain your strength and
with it your memories. Don’t worry, Vincent.”
Vincent was concerned more about what he had read in his journal. It
confused him, but he knew that what was written there was something he
couldn’t ignore. He could feel the truth of it deep within his heart,
like a nagging ache. Someone needed him and her name was Catherine.
He rose and picked up his cloak and began to throw it over his
shoulders.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Father demanded.
“Going Above,”
“You are not strong enough!”
“Father please, my life must begin again.” And he left the chamber, one
thought foremost in his mind – Catherine …
*****
Cathy heard something and she was wide awake. It was a scraping on the
balcony. What should she do? No one would listen to her anymore, not her
neighbors and not even the police. She had received two strange phone
calls a few nights ago as she sat on her balcony reading. The first from
Jenny, concerned and asking if she was okay and that she had had a
strange dream. Cathy had assured her she was fine and a few seconds
after she had hung up, there was another call from a stranger saying, “Cathy,
I can see you …” His voice terrified her. The sound of it, the way
he spoke, gave her chills. She had hung up the phone and pulled it out
of the wall. Terrified she had closed her curtains and huddled on the
couch weeping.
She looked into the darkness of her apartment now, and could see nothing
but shadows. She leaned over to turn on the bedside lamp and suddenly
she was grabbed from behind and dragged from the bed. A cloth covered
her face, and the pungent odor of chloroform filled her mouth and nose.
Her ears began to ring as she started to black out. Strange echoes
filled her ears, the sounds of an almighty roar and glass shattering, a
man’s scream, then silence.
Disconnected and completely unable to fight, Cathy was unable to move
when she felt herself being lifted and laid gently on her bed. A cold
compress was placed on her forehead and a voice, gentle beyond
description saying. “You’re safe now.”
Cathy drifted in and out of consciousness, and times slowed, until the
drug wore off. When she came back to the present, she sensed someone in
the room and sat up, fear lancing through her.
“Please don’t hurt me!” she gasped, and backed up against the wall, her
entire being filled with fear.
“Don’t be afraid. Please don’t be afraid. No one will hurt you.” The
same deep voice murmured from darkness.
Trembling and finding it hard to breathe, Cathy demanded. “Who are you,
what do you want?”
“My name is Vincent,” he whispered gently. “I want nothing, please don’t
be afraid.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked, fear still strong within her, but
hope beginning to surface.
Vincent didn’t answer her question, “The man is no longer a threat. The
police will be here soon. But I must go…”
Now his leaving scared her more, “No, please, don’t go. You
saved me. Stay. Tell the police what happened. They will believe you.”
She hadn’t begun to wonder how he had saved her, or where he had come
from. All she knew was that for now this voice represented safety, and
she needed to feel safe at least for a little while.
“I’m sorry, that is impossible. I must go.” His voice filled with true
regret in his voice, “But I will see you again. I promise.” And she saw
a shadowed figure exit through her shattered balcony doors.
When her head cleared, Cathy turned her bedside lamp on and saw the dead
man on her living room floor. She slowly got out of bed and when she
stood over him, she saw no blood. She knew enough to realize that his
neck was broken. A sudden knock on her door made her jump.
“Miss Chandler, it’s the police, are you all right?” A man’s voice
called from the other side of the door. When she opened it, there were
two uniformed men standing on her doorstep. “We had an anonymous call
about a prowler, and your neighbors reported strange noises coming from
your apartment.” One of the Police Officers said.
Cathy stood back to let them in, revealing the body on the floor. “He
attacked me and when I fought him, he fell against the coffee table.”
Cathy lied. She hardly believed her savior’s appearance in her apartment
and for many reasons she didn’t want anyone to know the truth. The man
was removed and she mentioned nothing about her strange visitor.
She was asked to give a statement in the morning.
Cathy went back to sleep that night surprisingly quickly and for the
first time in years she was able to sleep soundly.
Vincent made his way Below. He was greatly relieved that he had been
able to save Catherine. He could feel her peace as she slept. It wasn’t
complete and the fear hovered but he was encouraged. The nagging ache
that he had been feeling within him was eased and at last he understood
that he was truly connected to this sad young woman. He did not know how
but he would do all in his power to lift that sadness.
He had been reading about her in his own journals, her strength,
generosity and love. Who could not love her? But she was in terrible
distress and he wanted desperately to help her – to reach her, but she
didn’t know who he was or that he loved her.
He searched for a way to reach out to her without frightening her.
Suddenly it came to him and he left her balcony with a plan forming in
his mind and a new purpose and lightness in his heart. He must be
careful not to frighten her, but all he could do was try. It would work,
it must work, but first he must let Catherine know that someone was
thinking of her. That she was not alone.
He went back to his chamber and began to write out a list of ways he
could gently let her know he cared. In the following days and nights he
went through each moment with a renewed purpose. His mind and heart
becoming more attuned to Catherine’s emotions,
The next night he left a red rose on the iron table on her balcony, he
waited out of sight, for her to come onto the balcony, hoping that as
his journal had mentioned, her habit of watching the city at night had
not changed. When she did come out his heart leapt with joy.
She looked out at the city and then down at the table when she found the
rose. He held his breath –would she be frightened by the thought of a
stranger coming onto her balcony?
At first he felt her surprise, but there was no fear as she went back
into her apartment and closed the balcony doors.
Her heart was in turmoil and her life was in ruins and he would not let
that continue. He had made mistakes in that other life and he was
determined never to make the same mistakes again, where Catherine was
concerned, and he would never give up on her.
He came back the next night and the night after that, leaving something
for her on the iron table. Once she realized he meant her no harm
perhaps she would allow him to help her gain her life back.
****
Vincent found where Noj lived and he watched the building for some time
every night. It wasn’t difficult to identify Ellie he was struck by how
beautiful she was. Her golden hair shone in the streetlamps, its waves
falling about her lovely face. She would be almost Fifteen now according
to his journal. One night he followed her to the back of a building and
watched as she threw small stones at one of the second floor windows.
After a few minutes the window opened and a figure climbed down the
drainpipe. When his feet touched the ground he embraced Ellie. Eric,
Vincent thought.
Keeping to the shadows Vincent made his way to where he could hear the
children’s conversation.
“When Ellie?” Eric demanded. “I dunno how much longer I can stand it
here.”
“It won’t be much longer Eric. I promise we’ll be away from here, and
someplace safe and free very soon.”
“I hate it here Ellie and I miss you.” The boy complained, looking up at
his sister, his large spectacles shining in the street lamp.
“And I miss you to Eric, but I haven’t got enough money yet to get us
out of the city.”
“Is he still beating you? That looks like a new bruise on your face.”
“I’m okay Eric. I can take whatever he dishes out. Knowing we’ll get
away gives me the strength I need.”
“And when will that be?” demanded the boy.
“Not long now, I promise.”
Vincent could stand it no longer. “It can be tonight if you are not
afraid.” He said from his hiding place.
Shielding her brother and pushing him behind her, Ellie demanded. “Whose
there?”
“My name is Vincent, I will not hurt you.”
“What do you want?” Ellie asked anger more than fear upper most.
Coming out of the shadows, Vincent said. “I can take you to a place of
safety, where no one will ever hurt you again.”
“Oh yeah,” Ellie said crossing her arms in front of her. “I’ve been told
that before mister, and I don’t believe there is such a place, not in
this city anyway.”
“There is such a place, and you and Eric can come right away.”
“Come on Ellie it can’t be worse than where we are now.”
Ellie turned on her bother. “Getting killed by some creep is worse
Eric!”
“If I show the place I speak of will you trust me then?” Vincent asked
“If I’m not back in my bed by the time Noj wakes up I’ll be worse off
than anything you can do mister.”
“It will not take long if you come now.” Vincent said and without
another word he turned down the nearest alley.
By the time he was at the manhole, both children were not far behind
him. He lifted the cover and slipped into the hole, and down the metal
ladder. He didn’t wait for them; he hurried down the tunnel listening to
their surprised comments. When they reached the lighted tunnels, both
children seemed less fearful yet they still clung to each other’s hands
Finally they entered Father’s chamber and he was sitting in his favorite
chair, as ever reading a book. Father looked up with a smile, expecting
to see only Vincent, but when he saw the two adolescents following
Vincent, Father put down the book and demanded. “Vincent what is this?
Who are these children?”
Vincent slipped his hood back and turned to the children. “Father this
is Ellie and her brother Eric.”
Both children stared at the room, Father and finally Vincent, who
smiled.
With a sigh of resignation, Father said. “Welcome Ellie and Eric. Can
you tell me anything about yourselves?”
“Yeah when you tell us about this place, I’d heard rumors but …” Ellie
demanded.
“You didn’t believe them.” Vincent replied
Both children shook their heads in wonder.
An hour later the Council was called and an hour after that Ellie and
Eric were welcomed into the tunnel community.
******
Cathy was unable to sleep, she’d had that nightmare again, and finally
giving up, and she got out of bed. Sleep was out of the question now.
She went to the balcony doors, opening them and walked to the wall,
staring out into the night, the city and then the stars. When she looked
down, on the iron table was a small red book. She picked it up. It was a
copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. For months now she had been finding such
things.
She wasn’t frightened anymore; there was no threat in these little
gifts. Even though she had been terrified that first night, the night he
had saved her life proved that he meant her no harm. Now she looked
forward to these small sweet offerings. There was something magical
about this phantom visitor. She had tried to catch him a few times, when
she had caught his shadow out of the corner of her eye, against the
curtains of the newly repaired balcony doors, but he was too fast for
her. She had even begun to look forward to his visits and his gifts.
First the rose, then a book – Charles Dickens ‘Great Expectations’ and
tonight these sonnets and on the flyleaf, in an elegant hand, was
written the words.
‘Please don’t be afraid I mean you no harm.’
She slid the slim book out of its protective case and it opened at
sonnet 29 where a dried rose lay. She looked down at the page and read
the sonnet and in its words she began to discern an answer to her
visitor’s strange behavior.
When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate.
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed.
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope.
With what I most enjoy contented least,
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate,
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings.
But then I scorn to change my state with kings.
V
‘V’. He’d said his name was Vincent.
She held the book against her breast, and smiling went back inside. ‘V’
Vincent watched from his hidden vantage point as Catherine smiled. The
first he had seen and he hoped that perhaps the time was soon
approaching when she would be ready for the final and most important
part of his plan.
Then on the night three years after she had been attacked Cathy found a
soft red suede pouch on the table, when she tipped it up a necklace
slipped into her open palm. It was a crystal, on a gold chain and it
sparkled reflecting the light coming from her bedroom.
There was a sound to her right at the end of the terrace. She turned her
head and saw something that could not be …
****
Tonight was, April 12th, the anniversary of the night that in the
journal was when she had been brutally beaten and left in the park. For
so long he had been planning for this moment. And there she was watching
him. His heart thumped loudly in his chest. This moment was the linchpin
on which his life was balanced. This moment could either begin a new
life for them both or destroy Catherine. He had tried to let her know he
was no threat. He had tried to gently portray his feelings for her, as
those of kindness and care. not obsession.
He stayed, transfixed by her, even if she was about to scream, it would
be worth the pain, just to look at her, to see her face. But she didn’t
scream. She didn’t move. She stood watching him. He wanted to speak but
did not know what to say, afraid that by speaking he would frighten her.
She stood watching him, and no horror or fear came to her face, nor did
he feel it in her heart.
“Vincent?” she asked softly.
“Yes.” He said, expelling his held breath.
“Vincent…” she said again, looking down at the small unique crystal in
her palm.
“I’m sorry. I … didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“I’m not frightened…” she stopped, and then suddenly her expression
turned to one of shocked amazement. “I’m not frightened!” she
breathed, laying her hand over her heart as though a pain had suddenly
passed, and she smiled.
Thrilled by her statement, Vincent smiled his goal had been achieved,
she was no longer afraid “I must go.” He said and began to retreat to
the balcony wall.
“Don’t go, Please!” she pleaded, lifting the hand which held
the crystal. They both noticed it at the same time, as it flared in the
light coming from her apartment.
“This is beautiful.” Catherine said. “Thank you.”
Vincent’s gaze went from the crystal to the flagstones at her feet
remembering. He had gone to the crystal cavern, and the same crystal was
there, where the journal said it would be. He had taken it to Mouse who
had wrapped wire around it. Mouse had asked if the cavern was neat
but had not asked who the necklace was for. Vincent’s trips to Catherine
were something he had kept to himself. He had been so deeply caught up
in giving to her the peace that she so dearly needed that he had
unknowingly found a new depth to his love for her. Catherine was wounded
and isolated and because of this other aspects of her personality had
come to the fore. Her inability to overcome, so many losses, was not
surprising. But she had become more accepting of his differences and he
was deeply touched by this. Reluctant to leave, yet he knew he should.
Indecision warred within him.
“I must go,” he repeated, not wanting to shatter this fragile acceptance
with a prolonged stay.
“No!” and he felt a sudden blast of panic from the link he had found
developing strongly with her, but was it the peace she craved or his
company, at the moment though he didn’t really care.
. “Please stay.” She said more softly. “I … this is the first moment of
peace I have had in years. I – I know it has something to do with you
and I don’t want to lose it. I – know now why you had to hide, and I
understand so much now. Please stay.”
She looked around, for a way to keep him there, and saw the copy of
Shakespeare’s sonnets on the round iron table.
“You gave these to me?” And she lifted the book.
“Yes.”
“Do you like Shakespeare?”
Lowering his head and smiling at the irony of her words he nodded. “Yes,
very much.”
“I have found these Sonnets very helpful in the past few months. Thank
you for giving them to me. Would you like to read some of them?”
His heart soaring, he smiled, “I can think of no better way to spend an
evening.” He murmured coming closer to her.
“Come inside. It’s cold out here,” she surprised him, “I have a warm
fire burning and a comfortable couch, I can make us some tea. Do you
like tea?”
Vincent hesitated, but then stepped over her threshold. He heard the
echo of something shattering in the back of his mind. He had a feeling
as though some huge chasm had been crossed by that one step.
“Yes I like tea very much.” He said as he followed her to the couch.
“Give me your cloak, it will be too hot to wear it in here.”
He removed it, and she placed it carefully on her bed and went to make
the tea.
Vincent left an hour later assured of Catherine’s acceptance and filled
with such a feeling of peace that he could not believe it.
From that night Catherine slept peacefully, in the knowledge that there
was someone like Vincent who, like Romeo, would climb to her balcony
just to spend time with her. It gave her comfort and she never felt
alone again or afraid.
The next night when Vincent slipped over the wall of Catherine’s Balcony
she was there waiting for him and the balcony was surrounded by
candlelight. She came to him and said. “When I was a child I was afraid
of the dark and I used to have a terrible time falling to sleep, and my
mother gave me something. She told me that if I ever got frightened, to
hold it and think of her and to know that wherever she was that she was
thinking of me. It helped me a great deal over the last two years. But
now I don’t need it anymore, because I have you. I had forgotten what it
was like for someone to be thinking of me. I would like to give it to
you.”
Vincent looked down at what Catherine held in her hand, it was a white
porcelain rose, she slipped it into a felt pouch on a long cord and she
then placed it over his head.
After this motion, she lifted her hand to the crystal that hung about
her own neck. “I will never take this off.” She murmured with a smile.
“I am glad.” Vincent said with a smile.
This night and every evening afterward, Vincent and Catherine spent
together, and as the months passed their love grew. Their nights of
talking or reading to one another, turned into nights of holding each
other.
Catherine was in his arms, listening to him read; he felt her mood
change from contemplation to something he had never felt in her before.
He looked down at her, unable to believe her beauty, and how fortunate
he was to be seated on her couch in front of a warm fire. Their eyes met
and Catherine smiled, placing a hand on his cheek, bringing his face
closer to hers and she pressed her lips to his.
“Vincent I love you…” Catherine murmured as she kissed him again.
Vincent’s heart almost stopped beating at these words. “Catherine … my
heart was yours even before we met.”
“Before we met?”
He lowered his head, knowing how unbelievable it seemed. “Yes … I have
no explanation, only to say that I knew your pain and
suffering, and wished to ease it.”
Catherine kissed him again.
“Catherine … Vincent began to protest, but she put her finger to his
lips.
As though she knew his fears Catherine said. “Vincent to me you are
beautiful …” And she kissed him again, and quickly he felt his resolve
slipping. He couldn’t believe what was happening, he was hesitant, and
there were so many uncertainties within him until he remembered the
words he had read in his journal.
“Catherine is my life, without her I am nothing. If I am ever
fortunate enough to be loved by her I will never hold back. I will take
with both hands the life I dream of. To deny this is to deny that which
is truly precious...”
These words encouraged him not to withdraw, or move out of her embrace.
And he began to burn wherever their bodies touched. Catherine kissed him
again, this time more slowly and his heart beat frantically. Should he
dare? Should he allow this? And before he knew it his body had taken
over and it was too late for decisions only actions.
From that night on, Catherine and Vincent embarked on a new world,
filled with passion and discovery.
*****
Catherine stood beside Vincent in Father’s chamber. In her arms was
their six week old baby son. Vincent looked down at them ‘his family’
and she smiled up at him. He could barely believe how his life had
changed in the last two years.
When he had felt Catherine’s excitement just over eight months ago, he
had come to visit her and she had happily told him that she was carrying
his child. Amazed and thrilled he had hesitantly asked her if she would
come and live in his world.
Catherine had happily agreed saying. “There is nothing for me here
Vincent. You are my world and my life, without you there is nothing.”
A month later they were married, and today was the naming ceremony of
their son. Father had just finished his speech to welcome the child and
the room became silent and Vincent suddenly realized he had been asked a
question. His eyes were centered on his wife and son and his mind was on
them alone. He lifted his head and smiling at his father said. “Sorry
Father.”
“That’s alright Vincent, we understand.” Father said and everyone in the
room laughed. They understood the complete devotion these two had for
each other, and doubted that it would ever waver in the years to come.
Vincent laughed and so did Catherine who blushed slightly. Turning to
his father Vincent remembered when he had first told the older man of
his love for Catherine and was surprised by his reaction. Father was
concerned of course, but he was overjoyed that his son had found someone
who loved him and had asked to meet the lucky young woman.
Catherine had come below that night, and many times after, until their
wedding, when she had stayed permanently.
“So my son what do you name this child?” Father asked.
Turning to Catherine who nodded and then to everyone in the room Vincent
proudly said. “We name our son Jacob.”
*****
