****************
It was the longest day she had ever spent in her life. There was nothing on the news about four dead men. When she inquired, in a round about manner, the police had nothing to report either. She threw herself into her work, hoping to keep the fear and worry at bay. Each time Joe stopped by her desk or called her into his office, she braced for bad news. By the time she left work, she was a bundle of frazzled nerves. She needed Vincent.
Deciding a nice long soak in a tub of soapy, scented hot water would calm her, she soaked until her skin began to prune. Quickly she finished, dried off, and put on a soft blue jogging suit. She fixed a tuna salad sandwich, a cup of tea, and went out on the balcony to eat and sit in the warm evening breeze.
Later, curled up on the end of one of her love seats, she passed the time reading, waiting for Vincent to come. She could sense him coming nearer, and as he dropped lightly onto the balcony she flew through the open French doors and into his arms. “Oh, I have missed you,” she cried, raising her lips to his for a kiss.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he answered when he broke the kiss. “Has there been any news about last night?”
She stepped out of his arms and moved to the balcony wall. Staring out at the city lights, she shook her head, puzzled. “I don’t understand it. There should have been something. It’s almost as if it never happened.” Baffled, she shivered as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Holding his arms tightly against her, she basked in the unrecognized possessiveness--on his part--of his embrace.
“We have asked our Helpers to find out what they could. So far, we have heard nothing.”
“I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens,” she said with a fatalistic shrug.
Silent for a while, they reveled in their closeness and the feelings of love that each one felt from the other. “Vincent, do you understand what happened in that office?” she asked, leaning back into the comfort of his arms.
“I think so.” Resting his chin on the top of her head, he continued, “We are connected, bonded. I think you felt my rage and took it into yourself.”
“No, I think you’re wrong. The death of my father, then the attack on me pushed me to the edge, and I believe my rage was equal to yours and we became one. We lost ourselves in our desire for retribution.”
“Catherine! No, you could never be like that.”
“Oh yes, I could. I have been like that; I am not an angel, Vincent. I have my faults.”
“You are an angel to me, Catherine. You are my guardian angel.”
“I’m glad you feel that way,” she said with a gentle laugh. She turned in his arms and gazed seriously at him for a moment, then said, “Vincent, I think I understand what you feel after you have had to protect me, because I’m coping with those same feelings.” Silent, he waited for her to continue. “How do I cope with the feelings of disgust that I have for myself? I killed a man; I’ve never even so much as threatened anyone before. I keep thinking surely there must have been another way, but I know there wasn’t.” Slowly, sadly she shook her head. “It doesn’t help.”
“Ah, Catherine, I wish you never had to face those feelings. I say to myself that I won’t do it again, but I know that if my world or you are ever threatened I will do whatever I must. I protect those that I love as they protect me. I have never forgotten the faces of those that I have killed. They haunt my dreams, but I also know that I would never have harmed them if they had stopped or never started their evil deeds. The man you killed would still be alive today if he had not meant to kill you. You have a right to live your life without being threatened by death or worse. That is what you must remember. And the feelings will lessen as time goes by but never entirely go away. If it did, you would not be the Catherine I know.”
“Or the Vincent that I know.” She reached up, placing a hand on either side of his face, and pulled his willing lips to hers, kissing him long and tenderly. “I love you, Vincent. More than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life.”
Her words were sweet music to his soul. “As I love you, Catherine. You have taken away my aloneness and given me more joy than I ever knew existed.” He lowered his head and captured her lips again. This was a kiss of thanksgiving and commitment. From this instant forward they were two separate bodies sharing one soul.
Looking down at her, he thought how small, how fragile she looked, but he knew her to be of amazing strength and constant in her devotion. He blessed Narcissa’s spirits for granting him the right to love this woman and to be loved by her.
He pulled a well-worn book out of a pocket in his cloak. “Would you like to read ‘Great Expectations’?”
“Oh, I haven’t read that since high school.” For the moment, the delight she felt washed away the remnants of guilt. Together, they sat on his cloak, taking turns reading to each other.
All too soon, it was time for him to leave. Taking her hand, he helped her to her feet. She picked up his cloak. She tenderly wrapped it around his wide shoulders, after brushing it clean of dust. “I wish you could stay,” she said, winding her arms around his neck.
“I wish I could, too, but you need some sleep. Tomorrow will be another taxing day.”
“You will let me know if you hear anything?”
He nodded. “And you do the same. Send word either by Sammy or Benny.” He kissed her softly on her upturned lips and melted into the predawn darkness.
****************
One week, two, and no hint of the end or whereabouts of the four men. Catherine began to relax. Then on a Saturday morning two dozen dark crimson tea roses were delivered to her apartment. Catherine knew the language of flowers and knew the message they sent: tea roses meant I’ll remember always and dark crimson roses meant mourning. A bolt of fear shot through her when she read the card. “You did me a favor. I did you a favor.” Of course, it was unsigned and the florist didn’t know who had sent them. The order had been found on the counter with two hundred dollars and the sealed card with Catherine’s name and address on it. The threat was implicit: I won’t bother you if you won’t bother me. Vincent had sent a questioning thought as soon as he felt her fear. Her soothing thought calmed his trouble spirit.
Catherine had gone back to Lucifer’s office and found it deserted and stripped to the bare floor and walls. Everything was gone and it was spotlessly clean. If not for the crack in the window brace, she would never have known that it was the same office.
Looking through the mug shots had been a fruitless endeavor, and she could find nothing in the case files. They were nameless, faceless men except that their faces were indelibly branded in her memory. She would never forget the look on the face of the man she had killed. She deeply regretted the fact that she had killed a man but knew that she would do it again to protect either Vincent or herself.
Catherine decided to go Below to be with Vincent. She needed his support and input. They sat in contented silence in the Chamber of the Falls. The roar of the falling water soothing their weary souls. She leaned heavily into his arms; he tightened his embrace, placing a light kiss into her hair. She sighed.
“What is it, Catherine?” She told him of the flowers, the card, and the implied threat.
“I felt your distress but I couldn’t come to you,” he confessed. She could hear the guilt coloring his words.
“I know. That is why I came to you,” she comforted him. “I don’t think we will ever know what happened to those bodies.” He nodded in agreement. She continued, “I checked the office and it is completely stripped and deserted. Another dead end. There are no clues, no fingerprints, no case files, no pictures, nothing. The paper trail is almost impossible, even for Edie.”
“You must be careful, Catherine,” he begged.
“I know, I will be. But I wonder what they will require of me for them to be silent?”
“If they try to force you to do something illegal, you must come to me, to the Tunnels.”
“Don’t worry, I will. I’ll disappear so fast it will make their heard swim.”
Satisfied that she would do as she said, Vincent held her even tighter, enjoying the free flow of their emotions along the bond. New to the complete openness between them, Catherine was struggling to master the flow of Vincent’s emotions to her and hers to him. She knew it would become easier with time.
Turning, she gazed into his extraordinary face. “I’ve decided to close my father’s case.” She had continued investigating her father’s murder but all clues came to a dead-end. Reluctantly, she had admitted that it would never be solved. She had a feeling that Lucifer’s organization was behind it, and she had settled accounts with him. Joe had been immensely relieved when she backed off and accepted the official version--Aloisio was solely responsible for her father’s death.
“I’m glad,” Vincent commented with a relieved sigh. “Now you can move on with your life.”
“I miss him, Vincent. When he died, I thought I was alone, that I had no family. But everyone Below, even Father finally, has made me feel so welcome that I don’t feel like an orphan anymore.”
“You are a part of us, Catherine. We are your family.”
He sensed a sudden need in her for a little lighthearted banter, and he was more than willing to humor her.
“Does that make us sister and brother?” she asked with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
“Nooo, I don’t think so,” he drawled. It thrilled him to think she was comfortable enough with him to tease him.
“Oh, darn, I think I’d like to be your sister.”
“You would?” he asked, egging her on.
“Oh, yes.” She sighed expansively. “I never had a brother or sister to play with.”
“You want to play with me?” A mischievous look danced in his bright blue eyes.
“In any way I can.” She couldn’t keep from laughing, and she buried her flaming face in his ample chest.
Totally ignoring the innuendo, he innocently asked, “Hide and Seek? Tag?”
Catherine’s laugh deepened and became even merrier. Taking a deep grateful breath and expelling it, she thought happily, How did I get so lucky? This wonderful man loves me. Me! A little girl who never thought of anyone but herself. She was being unnecessarily rough on herself, but to her credit she had set about to change. To become worthy of his love. And she had succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. Her desire to become a better person was one of the reasons that Vincent admired and loved her so deeply.
It was time to leave a dangerous subject; so he asked, “What do we do now? Where do we go from here?”
“We do what we can. We find a way to have a life together.”
“It won’t be easy,” he countered, waiting to hear her fearless words.
Safe in his arms, Catherine stared into the future and knew there would be great obstacles to overcome and many adventures ahead of them. It seemed as if they stood on the bank of a raging river trying to get across. Vincent tightened his embrace when he felt a trembling ghost through her. But she knew with a certainty that comforted her that they would endure all the misfortunes and adversities that assailed them and reach the safe bank on the other side of the raging river-- together. When she spoke, she didn’t disappoint him. “Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, my love, but we will prevail. We will.”
Author's Note: I would like to thank Alisa West for
her editing and for clarifying my ideas with her thoughtful comments. Thanks, Alisa, you’re a doll.