Father

 

          Nancy

 

A whimpering infant creature

Weak

Sickly

Of strange countenance

Found

Above

Brought

Below

 

Placed

No

Received

Welcomed

By the Father

Into his arms

Into his care

Into his life

 

The little one

Accepted

Cherished

Lodged

In the Father’s heart

All warmth

Affection

Love

To supplant

A grim birthright

The wintry world

Of rags

Trash

Abandonment

 

 

 

Father by name

By choice

And by nature

Tenderly

He nurtures

The baby

Patiently

He guides

The toddler

Intuitively

He values

The child

Perceptively

He respects

The adolescent

Devotedly

He honors

The adult

 

~

 

Beloved Father

You have

Given me life

More surely than if

I were

Of your body

What words

Can say

What my soul feels

What my heart knows

Of you

My Father

I am

Because of you

A man

The man

My Catherine loves

 

Life is you, H

 

 

      Victors

 

         Nancy

 

 Beginnings

Can be troublesome

A wounded invader

Feared

Healed

His doctor’s ready compassion

Restrained

Tell her nothing

Get her out

Imagine

His horror

The consternation

Poor man

I will not be

Gotten out

Sent away

Forgotten

His dilemma

How to protect

His unique son

From faithless love

 

I sense

His distrust

Feel

His disapproval

Know

His disfavor

Yet love

Being stronger than all else

And loving as I do

With all that I am

His beautiful son

Not even

Father

Formidable adversary

To be sure will

Dissuade

Discourage

Defeat

The dream I

Defend

Protect

Nurture

That one day

One blessed

Miraculous day

I will dwell

Beloved

Within the heart of

His son

 

Perhaps a double miracle

Should the Father

Somehow

Someday

Actually

Approve

 

~

 

The war

Seen from now

No more than a skirmish

An eloquent misunderstanding

With victors two as

Respectfully

Affectionately

Genuinely

Father

Entrusts his son

To me

The wife

Proven worthy

The daughter

Devoted to him

Her father as well

And I know

My sweetest dream

Life

As one

With my eternal love

My Vincent

 

Eternal love, H

 

 

 

 

A BEGINNING AND AN ENDING

 

 Nancy

 

  

Healer

You became

The Father

Founder

And heart

Of a family

Forming

Growing

Around

Within

Your care

Your wisdom

Below

 

Leadership

Governance

Shared

Yet

Your title

Bespeaks

Regard

Respect

Admiration

Appreciation

 

~

 

I loved you

Truly

From the beginning

Throughout all the years

Happiness

Should have been

Ours

Unfair judgments

From too many parts

Severed us

Or was it

Your integrity

My cowardice

 

Youth

Errs

Too easily

I let it happen

Did you

Was choice

Yours

I ran

You could not

Follow

I believe

You would

Had you been free

Perhaps

 

Above

The hunters

Below

Safety

Grace

In all forms

You made

A World

A home

Gave yourself

To the place

To the people

To Vincent

 

Anonymous

Forgotten

In later years

Safe

Yet  

You did not

Search

To find me

Able

Why did I not

Seek

Find you

Until one week

Remained

These 7 days

Seven days

 

Time to create

A universe

Barely time

To love

 

Forever

            your Margaret

 

  

He raised the paper to his lips and kissed it reverently.  Settling gingerly onto the edge of her bed, he closed his eyes.  The pain was getting worse…the loneliness was killing him.

 

He’d sent Vincent Above to visit Catherine, convincing his son with brave words and the request that he be left alone for a little while.  For his part, Vincent had promised to return early.

 

He was a good son, Jacob acknowledged, in a moment of clear thinking.  Devin was coming home as well…another good, if different, son of his. 

 

We should have had sons, Margaret. 

And daughters. 

We should have had a lifetime making memories…. with years yet to come.

 

He glanced at her pillow and ran his hand lightly over its surface.  He saw her there as she’d been at the end...peaceful, happy, grateful…her hand in his, safe and warm.  But he hadn’t been able to keep her, to save her, and she’d passed on with his name and his kiss on her lips.  He covered his eyes and sobbed.

 

Oh, Margaret,

I am… alone.

 

Gathering himself he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away the evidence of his breakdown.  Mary might come looking for him, checking on him, and it wouldn’t do to upset her with a tear-streaked face.

 

Be at the threshold, smiling at me, when I turn, Margaret.

Tears blur my vision.

Come, sit beside me.

Read these, your words, aloud to me.

 

He stared at her writing, at the testament she’d left for him when she knew it was the end.  He’d found it after they’d held the burial service, when he’d returned to this chamber, hoping so desperately that it had all been a horrible nightmare and he’d find her waiting for him.  He wanted it to be a nightmare, wanted it so hard that he thought it must happen.  Yet it did not.

 

Tell me your thoughts.

Let me hold you.

 

They’d spent every moment together, jealously guarded each of them, hoarded them, as if such care could make them last forever.  He’d come to know her then, the Margaret she’d become over a lifetime of experiences, apart from him.  And he’d shared himself…everything…he wanted to give her everything he was…but they needed life’s years to do that…years of life together.  A sob, muffled, hurt his chest.

 

 

Take my hand and we will know this world.

It should have been ours.

 

She’d been so impressed with everything he’d shown her of the world Below, so gracious to everyone, so readily accepted by everyone.  And Vincent, Vincent was her favorite.  A small smile touched his lips at the thought.  And Mouse…Margaret had been enthralled by Mouse! 

 

Come back to me.

Let us cheat death as life so callously cheated us.

 

Stiffly he rose, leaning on his cane, preparing to leave the hallowed place, her place, always.  Vincent would return soon.  He would await him back in his own chamber.  This one, Margaret’s, would hold her essence.  He would visit with her here.  Find her here…one day…waiting…and that day he would be with her into eternity.

 

All the empty years between…

And now…

How many hopeless, empty years before me…

I cannot bear it.

I cannot. 

 

“Father.”  It was Catherine’s gentle voice, her arm around his shoulder, caring and warm.

 

“Come.  Let us help you,” Vincent said, leading him and Catherine out of the chamber.

 

“We’ll have some tea,” Catherine suggested.  “You don’t need to grieve alone.   We’d like to know her better…will you tell us about Margaret?”

 

When they eventually finished talking that night he was feeling a little less alone.  He rose from his chair with Vincent’s help.  Catherine had begun to gather their cups.

 

“There is barely enough time in one’s life to love well, Vincent.  Don’t wait too long,” he whispered, and turned slowly toward his sleeping chamber.

 

 

 

barely time, H