"A World to Believe In" by Judith Nolan First Part
Father once spoke of an
angel…
I used to dream she’d
appear…
Now as I speak, I can
sense her…
And I know she’s here…
Phantom of the Opera (paraphrased)
Vincent stood motionless
in the drainage tunnel entrance, arms folded beneath his mantle. He
tipped back his head to stare up into the night sky. Far above him the
moon floated, clear and bright, accompanied by its endless battalions of
twinkling stars. How many years had it been since he’d seen that remote
and unattainable lady for the first time? How long had it been since
Devin had drawn him from the safety and security of the tunnels and
shown him a world and a nightscape which, until that glorious moment, he
did not fully realize existed? A world he came to claim as his exclusive
domain.
“I have been one
acquainted with the night…”
Vincent quoted the Robert Frost poem softly.
“I have out-walked the furthest
city light…” He shook his head, drawing a deep, wistful sigh.
Must it always be so…?
He moved forward, looking
around him. The sounds of the night teased his senses. A soft, sighing
wind, someone walking far away in the park and then he heard the sad
call of one of the few birds that thrived in the darkness. All these
filtered through his great soul, bringing a sense of restlessness he
didn’t wish to define. But as before, whenever his thoughts turned in
this direction, the truth was inescapable…
His questing eyes traced
the luminous lines of the pathways and tracks that criss-crossed the
park. He glanced to the roadway where the little girl had seen his face
from a passing car in that long ago moment of frozen horror before she
had begun to cry. Briefly he touched on the uniqueness of his nose and
mouth. To be able to walk among them, hand in hand with his family,
through the hordes of people who thronged to the park in daylight,
without drawing any attention or curious glances. To feel the sunlight
on his face and know all the colours that shone in the daylight. This
was the precious, unattainable dream that had given rise to the puzzling
nightmare of his and Catherine’s shared vision centred on the park. It
was a simple wish fraught with so much difficulty and danger.
Catherine had once planned
for the two of them to go away to the lake house in
“So much for dreams…”
He sighed now, reaching back to draw his hood over his hair, his cloak
whispering against his legs as he moved forward into the sheltering
night. That same sense of restlessness had drawn him from the warm
comfort of his place beside Catherine in their bed. He didn’t wish to
disturb her slumber with his inability to rest easy. As he left the home
tunnels, he had clamped a tight rein on his roiling emotions, not
allowing them to flow along their bond. The confusion was his alone to
bear, in silence and solitude.
Summerfest would be here
again soon, another face of the park would be revealed, its warm, soft
heart becoming green and verdant. Just as it had been in the shared
dream about the innocent victims of the Snapper case…
“If
wishes were horses…” Vincent’s mouth compressed at the memory of
that long-ago night at the carousel when he and Devin had nearly been
caught by the police horse patrol. It had all seemed so easy then, to go
out and not think they could be discovered, to move around with the ease
of innocence.
But the resulting incident
had confirmed the worst of Father’s worries and concerns for his adopted
son’s safety. He had forbidden any more forays into the park. He would
not allow Vincent’s need to be endlessly roaming in places he could be
seen and potentially caught. Of course his son had not listened to the
sage advice of his troubled parent…
Vincent crested the
nearest hill, stopping to stare out across the moon-bathed landscape of
black and silver. Towards the place he had found Catherine on a long-ago
night. That night he had found the other half of his soul, and
everything else that had come to pass flowed through his senses from
that night to this very moment. He did have so much to be grateful for.
He should be content.
But still it did not feel
like enough. Surely there had to be more. He turned to look back. Behind
him and far beneath the earth, cocooned in its fragile heart, his
newly-born daughters, his young son, and his beloved wife slept
unhindered by disturbing dreams. He dropped his chin to rest on his
chest, closing his eyes. Drawing deep and steadying breaths, he allowed
the slow rhythms of their sleep to flow through him, calming and
comforting his agitation.
But the need remained,
quiescent for now, but alive none the less. To give Catherine
everything, everything she wanted or desired, had always been his
guiding hope and wish. In that way he and Elliot were in total
agreement, with different ideas of what everything might be. Even
when Vincent had been trying to distance himself from Catherine, to gift
her with another life free from secrets and furtive meetings, his had
been the best of intentions.
But Catherine had told him
he was all she’d ever wanted. Nothing else mattered but their love, one
for the other. Everything else would fall into its place in time and
with patience.
All he had to do was open his arms, for them to be his.
“If it was only that
easy…” Vincent raised his hands, palms uppermost before him,
dispassionately studying the long fingers, with their pointed nails and
soft clothing of fur. He raised them ever higher into the moonlight,
turning and flexing them like a penitent supplicant before an ancient,
unknown god.
He drew another, deeper
breath, making a silent wish upon the moon looking down on him with her
serene white face and careless beauty. Somehow, some day — he had no
idea when or how — he would make that dream come true. He and Catherine,
along with their children, could walk and laugh in the sunshine...and
no one would look twice…
“Okay yes, okay all right.
I think…” Mouse sat back to study his creation.
His secret world slumbered
peacefully around him, underscored by the rhythmic chatter of the pipes.
Messages received and answered, reassuring the citizens that all was
well for another night. But, try as he might, Mouse couldn’t rest. He
had long ago abandoned his bed for more interesting pursuits than sleep.
Besides, there was too much to do, too much to work on, for the tinker
to rest easily. Sleeping was such
a waste of precious time!
“Got stuff to do…”
Father’s Summerfest present was finally complete. Mouse moved back to
study it critically. He nodded, liking what he saw. There was only one
very small concern — almost too small to be bothered about. But it
niggled at him none the less.
“Well, okay, one tiny
problem…” Mouse finally admitted to himself, raising a denying shoulder
and blowing a discontented sigh.
Months before he’d
discovered the mahogany bookcase abandoned in a heap of rubbish Up Top.
“Topsiders throw away the best stuff,” he’d muttered as he took it
carefully apart and carried it piece by piece Below, his fertile brain
already buzzing with ideas and plans. Now with its newly-installed,
hidden shelves and hand-cranked, revolving units the ornate bookcase was
just a touch too big to be removed from the clutter of his chamber in
one piece. Well, perhaps more
than a touch. To transport it to Father’s chamber would require the
bookcase to be completely dismantled and reassembled once again.
“Okay, Mouse can do that…”
The tinker grimaced. “Well, with Vincent’s help. And a lot of others’
help. But then they might tell someone. Could be problem. Father must
not know.”
It had all begun when he’d
overheard Father speaking with Cullen at the meal table. He was
complaining about his memory. He’d stated it was well past time he
remembered to ask the woodworker to construct something for Father’s
chamber. Some shelves to store his ever-growing over-supply of books
that threatened to cascade down on his head at any moment! The area
where he slept was the only place left uncluttered.
Cullen had nodded
understandingly, but he’d also pleaded the pressure of a more urgent
project requiring his immediate attention. That needed to be completed
before Summerfest. However he did promise to come and do some measuring
in the near future. Father had accepted the postponement with a
philosophical shake of his head and a sigh, but he didn’t look at all
pleased. Rubbing his hands with glee, Mouse had hurried from the Long
Gallery, leaving the remains of his meal untouched, intent on making
Father’s request a reality as soon as humanly possible.
He’d gone Above to search for inspiration, and had soon found what
he was looking for.
He wondered why Father
hadn’t asked Mouse in the first place...
He jumped up now to pace
the chamber, talking to himself. “But Vincent and Catherine just had two
babies. Maybe Vincent too busy to help. Catherine might not let him come
to help Mouse. Got to think.” He sat down again, chin propped in his
upraised hands. “Could ask Cullen or maybe even Richard. But then they
would know Mouse’s secret, and Cullen might get mad. Father asked him
first. But he did say he was too busy.”
Arthur came to sit beside
him, chittering plaintively. He paddled his black paws against Mouse’s
arm.
“Arthur needs food?” Mouse
looked down at his pet. “Okay, Mouse hungry too. Will need to think some
more about this. Maybe ask Azrael…”
He turned to lay his hand
against the lightning ball beside his chair, laughing at the flickering
blue bolts of electricity as they followed the contact he’d created. He
was endlessly fascinated with the device, ever since Catherine had given
him the parts to make it. He frowned. Well, of course, this was the
replacement for the one Charles had broken when he’d gotten lost and
scared in the Mousehole years ago.
But Mouse had forgiven him
for that. Charles was Devin’s friend, and Devin was good to Mouse. Sends
him all sorts of wonderful things every month in the mail Peter
collected and brought Below. Devin said in his last letter he was coming
home for a visit from his vineyard in
“But that’s for later. Not
for now. Mouse gotta think.” He sighed, frowning at the lightning ball.
It was a pity the tunnel community couldn’t bleed power off the main
lines from the city. It had always been a project very dear to his
heart. “But too dangerous. Men will come to see where it’s gone. Could
be discovered, Father said.” Mouse pulled a face of discontent. “And
Vincent said no, too. Too bad.”
He sighed, then
brightened. He was excited about the possibilities of the power they
could generate from the water wheels and wind turbines from the garden
Azrael had helped them create far below Mouse’s feet. The project was
almost finished. A few more days and they could have all the power they
could ever need, and no one Up Top would ever know. He’d been working on
plans for
“Need lots more cable,
more supports. Gotta be sure. Need to last forever.” Mouse jumped up,
shuffling to a nearby table where a mess of plans and blueprints were
strewn about. He rustled through them, frowning and smiling by turns.
“Gotta be made right by Summerfest. Big party, everyone gonna come to
see.”
Arthur scurried after him,
chattering his displeasure at being ignored. But his master was far too
occupied to notice.
“Mouse…? Are you in here,
my friend?” A familiar voice asked from the chamber door.
“Vincent!” Mouse
started. “Can’t see bookcase. Not till Mouse says so. Big secret.”
He grabbed at a pile of
blankets and sheets carelessly thrown into a corner.
“Be out in a minute,
Vincent,” he called in reply. “Can’t come in now.” Hastily he covered
his creation. “Big, big mess in here.”
“What are you up to this
time, Mouse?” Vincent asked mildly, when the tinker came scampering out
of the long tunnel leading to his chamber.
“Nothing…” Mouse tried to
assume an innocent look that didn’t fool his good friend for a single
second. “Just talking to Arthur. And thinking. You’re up early…”
“And you do not look as if
you have slept. You worry me when you look too innocent, Mouse.” Vincent
placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Is there anything in your
chamber I need to know about? Anything that may cause Father sleepless
nights?”
“No.” Mouse shook his head
in strong denial. “It’s all good. Just working on garden plans. Got to
make sure all okay. Almost done. Azrael coming back down in a couple of
days. Gotta be ready. Summerfest going to be great this year.”
“Well, please remember the
last time…” Vincent lifted a hand to pass the pad of his thumb across
the twin arches of Mouse’s missing eyebrows before touching on the lack
of hair above the boy’s forehead. “All this will take time to grow back.
You were lucky it was only your hair that got incinerated. Perhaps we
should ask Elliot to give you lessons in how to handle plastic
explosives before you do any more blasting work.”
“Mouse learns always from
mistakes. Just need to be faster.” He grinned upwards at his larger
friend. “Big bang!” He waved his hands expressively. “Like when
we saved you and Father from the Maze. Just a touch too much. But got
the work done in half the time. Now it’s good to knock off digging out
new chambers for a while.”
“Very good indeed, Mouse,”
Vincent acknowledged. “But perhaps you should come to me before you
decide to use any plastic explosive again. It’s not good for everyone to
be woken up by your blasting projects. And you may draw unwanted
attention to our world down here.”
“Okay cool, okay great.”
Mouse bobbed his head. “Babies need sleep, I know. Catherine needs to
sleep too. But what do you need now, Vincent?”
“Your companionship, my
friend.” Vincent smiled down at him. “And the loan of your impressive
brain, along with your ability to find stuff. I have a project in mind
that I also need Cullen and Winslow to help with. They already know
their parts and are willing to assist us.”
“Is it something for
Catherine?” Mouse asked eagerly. “Something special for Summerfest? For
the babies?”
“Yes, something for
Catherine to celebrate the safe arrival of our babies,” Vincent
acknowledged, smiling.
“Catherine, Vincent’s
Catherine…yes, we can find something very special indeed. Mouse can do
it. What do you want, Vincent?”
“That is where I need your
mind, Mouse. I have an idea, but I need your help to make it a reality.
But we need to keep it all a big secret. Only the four of us need to
know for now.”
“Need
anything, just ask Mouse.” The tinker grinned. “Everybody does. He can
fix it. And he likes secrets. He knows everything…”
“I am
trying to decide just exactly how angry I am.” Seated before the
fireplace of her drawing room, Lady May Heathcote-Smythe held her
diminutive frame rigidly erect, her hands resting on the ornate gold
head of the ebony cane grounded between her feet.
The
elderly widow of an aristocratic English industrialist who had settled
in
She
stared frostily at her unwelcome visitor. “To make you come all the way
to the surface on the slight matter of a trifling chest pain. It is
insupportable, Jacob. I thought you knew me better after all these
years. When I wish to avail myself of your advice, I will ask for it.”
“Olivia and Mary were deeply worried about you.” Father stood in the
middle of the room, his medical bag in one hand, leaning on his cane,
not daring to sit until he received permission. He felt like an errant
schoolboy being grilled by a stern headmistress and found wanting. “The
last time they visited, you were unwell. Your young charges have said
you have not been yourself lately. And they also told Olivia you haven’t
seen a doctor in months. The last time you managed to come and see us
Below was for Vincent’s birthday party. That was nearly three years ago.
I well remember a time when I had to force you to return Above to keep
us all safe. You were young and wild then.”
“Well,
they should know better than to gossip about me now I’m old and
crotchety,” Lady May snapped. “And it was simply a small matter of my
doctor choosing to die before me. Since then, I have not found anyone
suitable to my requirements. I may be old, but I am neither a fool nor
am I senile. And I will not be treated as such by some young shave-tail
just out of short pants with the ink still wet on his medical degree.”
Father’s lips twitched at the all too accurate description, but he
managed to retain his grave expression. “So you choose to ignore your
ongoing symptoms rather than ask for help. You know how vital you are to
us. To our world.”
“You
simply cannot do without me to keep and train those among your young
girls who wish to have a life Above. I am well aware of that.” Lady May
sighed roughly. “Oh, sit down, for heaven’s sake! You’re giving me a
stiff neck, making me look up at you standing there like some homeless
penitent hoping for alms.”
“Thank
you.” Father grimaced as he subsided thankfully into a nearby chair.
“You simply must learn to take better care of yourself, May. That is all
we ask. We care very deeply for you. And I wish you could come Below
more often. We all miss your visits.”
“I am
well aware of the passage of time, Jacob.” Lady May inclined her head
and compressed her lips. “I must tell you
She
thumped the end of her cane on the floor. “I wasn’t so nice to him in
that encounter. I sent him away with a very large flea in his ear and I
swore he would never darken my door-sill again. But, for
“Thank
you, May.” A relieved smile curved Father’s lips. Of course, it had been
under his advice that Elliot and
He
knew very well the obstinate rod of pure steel that ran through one of
his oldest friends and most valued helpers of his world. He had also
come to know Elliot Burch. The man could charm the birds from the trees,
if he chose to do so, and one elderly lady would not be immune to his
considerable address and deft handling.
“And
you must tell Vincent to bring those lovely children of his to visit me,
as soon as Catherine is well enough to travel,” May commanded. “You know
how much I love the little ones. It has been too long since I’ve had
babies here.”
She
shook her head. “A grandfather three times over now, Jacob. It is a true
miracle. I wish I could attend the naming ceremony, but it is a long way
down to the home tunnels, and I’m not so young anymore. Now that Vincent
is well settled and happy, all we need to do is find a suitable wife for
Devin. Where in the world is my naughty boy now, by the way?”
Father
knew a delaying tactic when he heard one, but he decided against pushing
the issue for the moment. “The most recent letter I received was from
“Excellent.” May nodded. “Then you must tell my boy I wish to place an
order for ten cases of his first vintage. I know his taste will be
exquisite. I will not be disappointed, and I will also make sure the
good word gets around. He can count on me to ensure his success.” She
spoke without conceit.
“Thank
you, May. I shall tell him. But discussing my family will not allow you
to escape the purpose of my visit. I will not leave until you change
your mind.”
“And
even if I asked you to respect my wishes, you will not consent to go
away until I allow you to examine me.” May lifted one shoulder
dismissively. “You do like to try my patience to its limits, and it is
simply unfair. I am, after all, just a frail, old lady. You are taking
unfair advantage.” Her firm chin might have trembled and her face become
pensive, but her blue eyes glinted with a deeply rebellious look.
Father
watched her with resignation. “It is only because I love you very much,
May. You know that. And you are not as frail as you like to make out.
Please save that line for those who do not know you so well.”
“Oh,
very well. Give me your arm then, young man.” May stood, extending her
hand imperiously. “Afterwards, when you have decided I will live for a
few more years, you will take tea with me and tell me all about the
latest happenings in your world down there. I wish I could be that young
woman once more and open to such wonderful adventures as you and I had.”
She sighed.
“That
day I accidentally discovered the entrance to your world right down
there in my own wine cellar was the happiest moment of my life. In those
times I could be truly free in the tunnels. And Lord knows there were
never many of those moments back then.” She smiled sadly, wiping away a
tear with an impatient hand. “But I do have my memories. And what times
we did have together, when we thought the whole underground world was
ours and we could never grow old.”
“You
will always be young to me, May.” Father kissed her soft, wrinkled cheek
as they left the room arm in arm. “And very beautiful…”
“Flatterer…”
May tapped his arm warningly, but her eyes twinkled with delight.
“Oh,
May is as stubborn as ever.” Jacob shook his head wearily. “And just as
hardy. A little indigestion from eating too much rich food coupled with
a decided unwillingness to slow down or compromise her lifestyle. I
cannot believe she is nearly seventy-five. I remember a young woman who
could run the legs off any of us, once upon a time. She virtually lived
in the tunnels whenever her husband was away overseas on business. Many
times I had to force her to go back Above and put in an appearance in
her own life. She only went because she knew her presence here
compromised our safety. I know she would rather have stayed. She said we
made her feel alive and loved. We were the family she never had.”
He
sighed as he moved closer, placing a hand on Vincent’s shoulder. “She
loved all the tunnel children like they were her own. You, in particular
— she couldn’t get enough of you when you were a baby. She and Mary
often disagreed over your care…” He shook his head. “May won more times
than not. And she often aided and abetted Devin in some of his more
outrageous schemes too. It is a shame she never had any children of her
own. She is a natural mother. Now she looks after those of our girls who
choose the life up there.”
He set
down his case before crossing the chamber to look down at Vincent’s
three-week-old twin daughters sleeping in their adjacent cribs. “She
insisted I stay to take tea with her and regale her with the tales of
all our doings. But at least, before I left, I managed to secure her
agreement allowing Peter to take over as her physician. She is not happy
with me for telling her a few home truths about her condition.”
“I can
well imagine. And I wonder if Peter will still be speaking to you at
next month’s Summerfest.” Vincent laughed as he came to stand beside his
parent, placing a comforting arm around his slumped shoulders. “You have
succeeded in a very difficult task. May is not the easiest of people to
deal with.”
“She
requested — no, make that commanded — that you and Catherine must visit
as soon as you are all well enough to travel. May said your children are
a true miracle.” Jacob stroked one of the sleeping babies softly on the
cheek. “And I agree with her. Have you and Catherine decided on names
yet?”
“We
have.” Vincent nodded. “We were waiting to talk to you about the naming
ceremony.”
“Of
course, when you are ready. Everyone is looking forward to it. It was
such a shame Jacob’s ceremony had to be so private and held under such
impossible circumstances with us all in hiding and afraid of our own
shadows. I cannot tell you how glad I am for all that to be behind us
now. We are finally free of the past, so we are going to celebrate in
style. And, despite my misgivings over her state of health, I think we
should do our best to see if May can attend this one. She expressed a
wish to revisit her youth and I’ve a mind to help her realize the
dream.” Father looked around the chamber. “Where is Catherine? I hope
she is resting as I ordered?”
“Yes,
Father.” Vincent laughed and nodded. “
“Good,
at least one of my patients has listened to my advice.” Father picked up
his medical bag. “So now I must go and write a referral to Peter on
May’s behalf, before she has time to reflect and change her mind. She
will not escape this time. I’ll send Geoffrey Above with it, first thing
in the morning. Good evening, Vincent. I can only hope you will sleep
better than l will tonight.”
“Good luck, Father.” Vincent kissed his forehead before the older man left the chamber, shaking his head and talking to himself.
“So
explain to me, exactly what is all this?” Joe stood in Diana’s loft
apartment frowning at the two large bulletin boards she had set up.
He’d
arrived at her door in the early evening, overworked, harassed and
driven by a nagging doubt Diana had not let anything go. She had been
very reluctant to admit him, claiming she was working on something
important and couldn’t spare the time.
Whatever he wanted, she wasn’t interested.
She’d only acquiesced with a fulminating glare when he’d refused to
budge from her doorstep and threatened to make a scene fit to disturb
her neighbours and bring the NYPD down on both their heads.
Now
all his nagging doubts and suspicions had crystallised into
uncomfortable reality. He wondered what else the woman was keeping from
him. From what he could see, he didn’t doubt she’d copied all the files
on Cathy Chandler’s case before she had brought him the originals for
disposal.
“Just
work. It’s what I actually do for a living when I’m not needed by the
D.A.’s office,” Diana replied as she crossed the room to stand before
one board — blocking Joe’s view of it — while pointing to the other. “I
am still working my way through the maze of Gabriel’s companies and
shady dealings. I never stopped, even during the Snapper investigation.
I just pushed it all onto the back burner. I have some extremely
powerful and very impatient clients waiting for the results. They want
to know how and where they are implicated. And what damage control they
need to do to distance them from it all. They won’t wait much longer.
Time is money.”
“And
this one…?” Joe waved an imperious hand, indicating he wanted her to
move aside before pointing to the second board with his chin. “This
doesn’t have anything to do with the other, does it? More secrets,
Diana?”
Diana
lifted a denying shoulder. “It’s just something I’m working on for my
own satisfaction. There are still too many unresolved questions and
issues around Catherine Chandler and her relationships. Nothing adds up
like it should. Just when I think I have it all, it slips away again
like smoke. Even where she lives now is a complete mystery. And who
with. What do you know, Joe?” She slanted him an inquiring look.
“I
don’t know anything. But I thought I told you to drop the
“Since
I do not work for you, Joe, I can’t see how I am disobeying you. This is
what I do in my own time. I still have a living to make. And it’s not a
crusade; I only want answers.”
“But
if you ever want to work for my office again, you will drop whatever it
is you think you’re doing here. Cathy deserves to be left in peace. It
does no one any good to rake over what’s well dead and buried.”
“Perhaps, but I still have those unanswered questions.” Diana spread her
hands. “I still want to know what happened at the carousel that night
and why. Where did James and his friends come from and go to? A pair of
refugees from a pantomime, as you once said. Remember, Joe? And how did
you and Elliot Burch find your way all the way down to me in virtual
darkness without maps or any other signs to guide your path? And you
didn’t look at all concerned. And where did you find that Mouse boy? Who
is Cathy’s lover? That is the biggest question. She loved him enough to
bear him a son. That’s a matter of public record.”
She
took a turn around the room. “Her lover is the most puzzling thing in
all this. Azrael and his mother managed to live all the way down there.
I would guess her lover does as well, but where? Is she also down there
with him? I’ve asked Elliot, but he swears he knows nothing, and now
he’s blocking all my calls. I wish the two of you would stop treating me
like a fool. I’ve seen the Manning operatives who dog every step I take
outside this apartment.”
“They’re for your own good. I asked Elliot to keep an eye on you. I
don’t want to have to rescue you again from the consequences of your own
nosiness.” Joe thumped his fist into an open palm. He didn’t dare tell
her their secondary reason — their mutual need to know where she was at
all times — to make sure she wasn’t making an effort to find her way
Below once more. “Why can’t you just be grateful you survived
everything? Leave it alone, Diana. I’m warning you for the last time.
Why must you continue to chip away at things you have no business
investigating?”
“Because I’m curious about what you and Burch know and what you’re not
telling me. I saw you two and Azrael all huddled together at the new
gallery opening the other night, whispering behind your hands like a
gaggle of schoolgirls! You should learn to share and play nice. And as
for Shannon Cole…”
She
drew a steadying breath. “And don’t insult my intelligence by trying to
tell me any of you were discussing the paintings. Azrael goes all
squirrelly on me and won’t open up when I try to get some answers out of
him. He disappears regularly, sometimes for days on end, and then
reappears like magic. Where’s he been and exactly who has he been with?
It leaves me to think you all have something to hide. Something
incredible and mind blowing, and you won’t — or don’t — have the courage
to trust me enough to share in it. So I make do with what I have.”
“For
Pete’s sake, Diana, you really do need to see a shrink.” Joe shrugged on
a bitter laugh. “Now you’re sounding paranoid. I don’t have any secrets,
and you know more about Azrael’s life than I do. Can’t say the same for
Elliot Burch, but then we’ve never seen eye to eye on anything anyway.
His secrets I would love to know. How about setting up a board on him?”
“Rubbish!”
Diana snapped, turning away to her desk and sitting behind it, her face
set and determined. “You and Burch know too much. You tell me what I’m
missing, what this is all about – then I’ll leave it alone. Until then…
goodbye, Mr. District Attorney. Don’t call me, and I won’t bother you.”
“Diana…” Joe advanced warningly. “Drop it. Now!”
“Get
out…” Diana pointed at the door without looking up from her computer
screen. “Make sure you shut the door behind you on the way out.”
“Very
well,” Joe conceded grimly. “But you haven’t heard the last of this.
I’ll make sure anything you dig up is inadmissible — the product of a
deluded mind — and I’ll bury it so deep, even you won’t be able to find
it again.”
“Fine!”
Diana flung him a look of contempt. “You play your games and I’ll play
mine, and we’ll see who wins in the end. But I’ll be here when you
change your mind. Unless, of course, you decide to tell me the truth
before it’s already too late. I get results; I always do.”
“Save
me from all the do-gooders and mad crusaders,” Joe snapped, flinging his
way out of the apartment and slamming the door behind him.
Diana
sat and stared at the closed door for a long time. Suddenly her
shoulders slumped and she felt unaccountably close to tears. She sighed,
shaking her head before she went back to work, more determined than ever
to solve a puzzle that was eating away at her ability to sleep or eat or
even concentrate.
But
after trying to make any kind of sense of the work and failing, she
looked up to frown at the closed door of her bedroom. Hung in there,
safely out of sight of anyone but herself, dwelled the nude Azrael had
painted of her stepping from the sulphur pools. It was the first thing
she saw in the early morning when she opened her eyes and the last thing
she saw at night. Its raw, elemental power still gripped her, just as
the many secrets it concealed distracted her from more important work.
She still could not bear to part with it. But the secrets it held had
begun to invade her dreams…
The
hints were all there, cloaked in the multi-layered shadows that hung in
the background behind Azrael’s broad shoulders. Darker places that
looked like tunnels or doors and —
if she peered close enough
— she could almost swear there were lights flickering in their depths
and what looked like tiny, animated figures...and other things too small
to identify.
How
many times had she stood before it, trying to make those shadows speak
to her? Azrael was an extremely gifted painter, and he used his
incredible photographic memory of what others saw to great effect. But
Diana had begun to doubt the evidence of her own eyes. Surely he wasn’t
that good and she was simply imagining things.
There
were
worlds
down there, places and things she knew existed.
And people…
She
frowned over the memory of the night at the carousel and Catherine
Chandler’s lover. Him she definitely wanted to meet, if only to thank
him.
She just needed to find the right door and open it…
Sometimes she even missed Mouse, with his wayward charm, weird speech
and even crazier personality… He had made her laugh, a rare talent.
“It’s
so unfair…” She clenched her fists, turning to stare at the telephone
beside her, wondering what Azrael was doing right now or even where he
was. Seeing him —
talking with him
— on a daily basis was fast becoming a necessity, a habit she didn’t
wish to analyse too closely. She had always been a loner. She didn’t
need
anything…or
anyone...
“Come
on, I’ve told no one of what I know, Azrael,” she muttered. “I would
never harm your world. So you can trust me, you know. If you truly loved
me — like you say you do — you would tell me all you know…”
She
sighed, swiping away the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.
She knew he was not in his apartment or at the newly opened gallery
where his artwork was being displayed and selling very well. The whole
world seemed to be clamouring to know the history of a blind man who
could paint so exquisitely. Diana had checked with the manager several
times over the last few days, but Colin said he hadn’t seen Azrael for
some time. Diana was not the man’s keeper, but it irked her that she
didn’t know where he was and he did not wish to inform her.
Following Azrael was not an option. Firstly, she didn’t wish to expose
wherever he went to the intense scrutiny of the Manning operatives who
were, in turn, following her with a dogged determination that she
couldn’t shake. She knew Burch must share some secret knowledge with
Azrael, because when they’d met on the night of the gallery’s grand
opening two weeks ago they’d spent quite some time laughing and talking
together, quickly turning their whispered conversation to mundane
matters whenever Diana tried to get close enough to overhear what they
were discussing.
She
also knew they were watching her, seeming to also be discussing her as
she circulated through the crowded gallery in her self-appointed role as
Azrael’s unpaid PR person. But when Joe had arrived later in the evening
and immediately joined them in their whispered conference, Diana had
known an intense longing to fetch her gun, corral them into a secluded
corner, and demand they all talk. It irritated her beyond reason that
they still had secrets they were not willing to share with her.
Azrael, of course, had looked disturbingly handsome in a black tuxedo.
His long auburn hair, tied back at the nape of his neck with a black
silk ribbon for the evening, coupled with his wearing one of a number of
designer sunglasses Diana had first purchased for him when he moved up
into the city, made him look remote and mysterious. A powerful magnet,
combining a quaint, old world courtesy with a wary, diffident charm, he
drew the women at the opening like moths to an exotic flame. He tried
his best to keep their fawning attentions at arm’s length, but often he
was forced to retreat behind the certain shelter of Burch’s urbane
protection whenever anyone sought to become overly familiar or pressed
too close for his comfort.
Diana
had watched him longingly, wishing they could be alone together, instead
of being trapped in this seething crowd. She knew she should be grateful
for the interest they all showed. But she — who’d always prided herself
on needing no one — found she was coming to depend more and more on
having Azrael around. Understanding him and knowing he would be
there for her if she ever asked for his help. To be near him made
her feel less confused and alone.
However she’d soon discovered he would always shy away from true
intimacy with her, whenever she got too close. She quickly realised the
disturbing trend of her thoughts — as well as her body language — were
all too easy for him to read, but she couldn’t help it. Being near him
stirred deep levels within her.
Places
she had been unaware of until now. Needs that shifted and flowed like
quicksand, trapping her in the flux of uncomfortable, emotional turmoil.
But Azrael was always quick to put distance between them, as if he were
still not sure of his ground with her or how to respond in kind. But he
had an ongoing dislike of discussing his reasons, which left Diana
feeling more than a little frustrated and very short-tempered at times.
After all, in a manner of speaking, he’d already gotten to see her
naked. There was certainly no room for modesty in that painting.
But patience was not one of her virtues…
But
lately she had become aware of him watching her, as if she were a puzzle
he had not yet worked out to his satisfaction. That gave her some hope.
He wasn’t immune to her; she knew that. The half-finished gestures that
he quickly abandoned whenever he sensed she was turning towards him. The
sudden catch of his indrawn breath as he quickly withdrew from her
immediate vicinity, and the swift exits, when it was obvious he could no
longer remain close to her without completing the tentative journey and
actually laying his hands on her.
Diana
remembered his unusual upbringing and the crippling physical and
emotional boundaries imposed on him by his late mother. The mad woman’s
deeply revolted reaction to the painting that she had wanted to destroy
in the fire. Diana sighed and shook her head.
It was
so easy to enjoy Azrael’s company and his unique perspective on life in
a world that was still very alien to him. His comments made her see the
city in a whole different light and understand many of its
hitherto-hidden places and the curious ways of its more unusual
inhabitants. But she knew he was not ready to share all
his
secrets, any more than he was willing to share her bed. She must learn
to be patient…for
now…
At the
gallery opening Diana had stood still, enviously observing the easy
interplay between Burch, the worldly-wise billionaire, and the young
artist with a jaundiced eye. The designer tux Azrael wore was a gift
from Elliot. It was another open-handed gesture from a man well known
for his unquestioned ability to extract every last drop of blood from
And
yet there he was, gifting property, advice, and clothing to a once
penniless outcast from a very different world with jaw dropping
generosity. As if he actually cared for the man, as a friend, certainly
as a confidant. It made no sense at all that Diana could see. It was yet
another link in the strengthening chain of their mysterious involvement
with a hidden world.
And,
of course there was the frustrating case of Shannon Cole — or, as she
preferred to be called now — Shannon O’Neill. Another of Burch’s charity
cases, though this one was fabulously wealthy in her own right. Perhaps
that was her attraction, her considerable ability to contribute some
serious financial help to his schemes. Though now it seemed the woman
was planning to use a large part of her wealth to set up shelters and
new charities for the poor of the city, and Elliot appeared to be
actively assisting her in this ambitious venture.
Things just keep getting weirder wherever anyone becomes associated with
Catherine Chandler,
Diana decided with a sigh. Recently
The
men had all crowded into the airless interview room, standing virtually
shoulder-to-shoulder, exuding a ton of testosterone per square inch,
armpits bulging with hardware, and they would not leave the room,
refusing to allow Diana to conduct a one-on-one interview with the opera
singer. Burch had even demanded to see her list of questions, which
irked Diana immensely. She marked him down for special attention when
she was free – Elliot Burch and that oddball young employee of his,
Mouse.
In the
end the interview had been short and intensely dissatisfying on Diana’s
part. But she had been forced to settle for what little more
And
that woman was another component of the mysterious group clustering
around Azrael that excluded Diana from everything they knew or
understood. Shannon O’Neill had been on Burch’s arm the night of the
gallery opening, looking stunning in a full-length silver designer gown
and dripping diamonds that must have cost Burch a fortune. Azrael had
hugged and greeted her like a very old friend. Towards him
But
while Diana fumed about Burch and what he might know, she had no idea
what Manning knew, what his boss may or may not have told his chief
investigator. As much as she was tempted to do so, she wouldn’t risk
exposing whatever their secret was by going after Azrael on one of his
mysterious disappearances. She had come too far and gotten too close to
jeopardize it all now by being stupid.
And
there was also that annoying disadvantage that Azrael could sense Diana
any time he chose to concentrate on her thoughts or her whereabouts. His
perceptions of the world around him were highly tuned and inescapable.
He would know instantly if she tried to tail him, and he’d been quite
forthright in telling her she was not to try.
She just needed to bide her time…
“Which
leaves me sitting here, crunching numbers, and getting nowhere…” Diana
returned her gaze to the boards, contemplating the biggest secret of all
— Catherine Chandler and her lover.
The
man had saved them all from certain death at the carousel that night,
without a doubt. Diana was enough of a realist to know that it was
really Catherine he was saving. Simply their close association with her
had rescued Diana and Joe. But Catherine had also loved this mystery
lover enough to have a child with him. And then vanish so completely
with him to somewhere unknown and unseen.
Was it to some magic kingdom where no one died and everyone got along
together without greed or envy?
“Get
a grip, Bennett. You don’t believe in fairy tales. Well, not many
anyway…” Diana sighed, her gaze going out of focus as she chewed
distractedly at her bottom lip. Something in this case had to give and
soon… Damn you,
Azrael! Where are you?
Azrael
placed his hand on Mouse’s shoulder. “What do you think, my friend? How
does it all look? Will everything stand the test of time?”
“Built
strong. Made to last.” Mouse nodded. “Will be good for all time. They
will say one day, we did fine things here.”
“Very
well.” Azrael smiled. “I think we can live with that assessment. So I
think we can finally declare the entire project a success.”
“Okay
good. Okay fine. Must go and tell Father. See Vincent.” Mouse hopped
from foot to foot. “We need to have a party. Celebrate. Everybody can
come.”
Azrael
laughed. “Yes, I think a party would be an excellent idea.”
The
pair was standing on a ledge overlooking an echoing cavern where many of
the tunnel dwellers had laboured ceaselessly over the months since
Azrael had shown Mouse and Vincent his garden. During the intervening
time they had transferred much of the garden to the higher levels of the
tunnel system. The water wheels and the wind turbines had been simple to
disassemble and then reassemble where Mouse thought they would be most
effective. Even the bees had co-operated without too much fuss. Except
Mouse had been stung several times by his new charges, and he’d
complained extensively to anyone who was prepared to stop and listen.
It
irked him immensely that Vincent and Azrael seemed to be immune to the
bees’ anger. The insects had swarmed around them, but never attacked the
two men as they laboured to transfer the beehives to the higher levels.
Set up once again along the far rim of the cavern, the industrious bees
quickly settled into their new home and now provided endless
entertainment for the Tunnel children. But Mouse disavowed there was any
further need for him to become a full-time beekeeper. That task was
finally delegated to a roster of the older children who Azrael had
trained extensively in their new deployment. They loved the work, and
were more than willing to help out.
“Azrael…” Jamie appeared beside them. “Father asked to see you. I will
take you to him.”
“Thank
you, Jamie.” Azrael nodded, smiling at her.
He
could sense her watching him closely, but she didn’t speak again. She
seemed to be assessing him for some reason of her own. The arrows in the
quiver slung at her hip rattled softly as she shifted from one foot to
the other, as if she were impatient to be getting on with more important
business than being his unofficial guide. But she was reluctant to leave
him to find his own way. Azrael had some idea of the reason, and he
could understand it completely.
“Good,
go to see Father. Tell him, all done. Good job.” Mouse seized Azrael’s
arm. “Mouse will go down into garden, talk to Winslow and the others.
Tell them all it’s fine. Go home now and rest. Then will go tell
Vincent. He will want to come and see.”
“Very
well, thank you, Mouse.” Leaving Mouse to scurry down into the garden to
inform the men working there, Azrael followed Jamie down the tunnel
towards the home area.
Even
without the benefit of sight, he now knew the way instinctively, but he
sensed some of the other Tunnel dwellers like Jamie still didn’t
entirely trust him, and they liked to keep an eye on his activities
whenever he came Below. His unfortunate relationship to the late
Paracelsus was still a topic of ongoing discussion and much comment.
Azrael was sorry for the pain and suffering his late father had caused
this hidden community, but he could do nothing about the past. He could
only hope that, in time, Jamie and the others would come to trust him
and approve of his ongoing involvement in their world.
Unlike
Mouse, who had accepted him immediately and wholeheartedly, not pausing
to question his help or presence. But then they shared the common bond
of being on the outside for some years, dwelling on what they could
scavenge or steal from the community’s storehouses and resources,
without being seen or caught.
“Ah,
Azrael. Come in, please.” Father looked up from the book he was reading.
“Sit down with me. Can I offer you a cup of tea?”
“Thank
you.” Azrael accepted the offer. “You asked to see me, Father?”
“Yes,
I did. Thank you, Jamie.” Father dismissed the girl with an
acknowledging smile before he poured the tea and pushed the cup near to
Azrael’s hand. “There you are.”
He sat
back to consider his guest. “I have wanted to talk with you for some
time now. But you have always been with Vincent or Mouse and the work
crew, and you all seem to be coming and going with such purpose and
concentration. I didn’t wish to
intrude on your efforts for our world. And I must thank you for them, as
well. You have performed a miracle.”
Azrael
inclined his head, accepting the older man’s words. “Thank you, Father.
Your world is now my world. Apart from my new life among the Topsiders,
which is still strange and mysterious to me, this is where I come when I
need to escape the city life. I belong down here, and I’m simply
grateful you have accepted me as you have, despite my background and
parentage. Some among your people still find my recent connections
unfortunate.”
“Yes,
I have often wanted to talk to you about your father…” Father shuffled
the papers on his desk. “Many years ago John was my good friend. He
helped us found this whole community. We owe him a great deal for those
early years. But I am afraid John soon outgrew us and our need to remain
a shared community, and not a dictatorship with him in undisputed
control. Once he even imagined having the Great Hall as his own chamber.
He always did things on a grand scale. As he was endlessly recreating
himself.”
“Yes,
Vincent told me what happened.” Azrael shook his head with sadness. “He
also told me many other things about my father, in words and also mental
images that said so much more. He allowed me to experience some of what
you and your community were forced to suffer because of my father’s
obsession with power and control. I understand now what happened was not
your fault, even though that is what I was taught to believe all my
life.”
He
raised an impatient hand to his eyes, concealed behind the wrap around
sunglasses he habitually wore now. “He took my sight. He tried to make
me more than I was born to be.” Azrael sighed. “And I know he tried to
commit the same crime against Vincent. He tried to create some tortured
soul who was never meant to be. His obsession with trying to mould him
into something he truly never was, for John Pater’s own ends, was
terrible. I have no words to excuse his crimes.”
“Nor
should you try to do so. They were never yours. But I am afraid your
father may have lied to you as well.” Father fiddled with his teacup,
searching for the right words. “Your mother…Emma…I’m afraid she was
grossly deceived into thinking John could ever love her or truly care
what happened to her. As far as I can ascertain, John’s first wife was
Anna, a woman who lived here Below, with us. She died some years ago and
is buried down by the Whispering Gallery. I never knew John had married
again or brought his family Below. But then, he loved to keep his
secrets, and I know he came and went between our worlds as he pleased.”
Father
paused and then continued. “He also invented another life in the city
above us, one where he commanded wealth, power and position. I know he
always had plans — great things he wished to do and create. Your world,
the world he created down there in the bowels of the earth, we suspect
was simply one of many he held under his remorseless sway. Now we wonder
how they continue to survive. Or if they now survive at all. I shudder
to think what has become of them.”
“There
be dragons…” Azrael shook his head. “Yes, Vincent told me of your
suspicions. The need to control and have mastery over everything my
father
touched or cared for in his own way, was everything to him. My mother
was simply another tool to be used or abandoned at whim. But she was
utterly blind to his faults because she loved him. And my brother may
have fled to one of these
other
worlds. I have no idea what became of him after he left us.”
“And
there it is. We have come to the whole centre of my troubled thoughts.”
Father pushed his cup aside. “As far as I was aware, John could not
father a child. I know he and Anna tried for some time, but the fault,
he finally told me, was with him. Now I have the evidence of you before
me and I do not know what to believe any more. And you have told us
about your missing brother. There lies another mystery. Was John simply
trolling for sympathy with such an admission? Or was it a fact that he
tried to get around by some other means.”
“Are
you saying…?” Azrael’s hands clenched. “Are you intimating that John
Pater may not have been my biological father after all?”
“I
have come to understand that anything is possible where John was
concerned. But I simply do not know…” Father raised his hands
helplessly. “Again the mind games he played, the twists and turns within
his consciousness were diabolical. I doubt any of us could truly follow
or hope to understand them all. He was a master of manipulation, and he
gloried in his superiority over lesser men. His insanity had no
boundaries.”
He
leaned forward to place his hand over Azrael’s where they lay clasped
tightly together on the table. “As I said, I have wanted to talk with
you, but each time I try to approach the subject, I have no words. I am
aware you share the same depth of empathic intuition as Vincent. Perhaps
you have your own suspicions from what he has told you or allowed you to
see through the link you share. Perhaps we shall never know the whole
truth. But I needed you to be aware of what I do know. And that we will
always be here for you…always…”
“Thank
you, Father.” Azrael returned the pressure of the older man’s hand. “My
mother’s relationship with my…” he paused, frowning before continuing,
“…with John Pater was not bound by love, but by some kind of dark,
greedy sickness. As if my mother desperately needed to believe in what
he had told her, in what he made her believe. That somehow, down there,
in the depths of the earth, they were creating a new and better
He
passed his free hand wearily across his eyes. “Perhaps it is better that
we consign it all to the past. And do not speak of it again. The memory
of my father only seems to cause pain. For me it was another life now —
a place I do not care to revisit for the sake of my own sanity.”
“Then
that is what we will do.” Father nodded gratefully. “John Pater will no
longer be granted the space in our memories to threaten all that we have
built here. I believe it is for the best.”
“Then
it shall be so.” Azrael sat back. “Mouse insisted I inform you that the
garden project is finished. He has sent the workers home, no doubt to
their relief. The work has been hard and not always straightforward. But
Mouse is sure we now have an excellent excuse for a party.”
“Any
excuse is good enough for Mouse,” Father acknowledged on a laugh. “I’ll
admit I’m anxious to see the garden for myself. I know William is
planning all sorts of gastronomic delights now we have our own supply of
fresh produce. Do you feel up to giving me the grand tour?”
“Of
course. And we shall have to make sure we do not disappoint William.”
Azrael got to his feet, reaching to assist Father.
“And
what of Diana?” Father worried, as they left the chamber together. “Is
she still intent on discovering all our secrets?”
“I am
afraid we may have to disclose our existence in the near future,” Azrael
admitted ruefully. “She is fully capable to finding out the truth on her
own. I know she does not rest; she works day and night. She was
extremely short tempered at the gallery opening. She watched me talking
with Elliot and I could sense she was eager to know what we were saying.
And when Joe joined us later in the evening…”
“Then
we must leave that to your judgement. Come and talk to Vincent or me
when you judge the time is near. I know the woman is determined and
resourceful. But we do have a lot to thank her for in exposing Sarah’s
killer and disposing of Gabriel. Perhaps she has earned the right to
know of our existence. If you think she can be trusted, then the council
will meet to consider it.”
“I
will, Father.” Azrael laid his hand on the older man’s shoulder. “I
promise to give you fair warning. But my time spent down here is limited
by her need to know more. After we have seen the garden, I must return
Above before she becomes too suspicious over my present whereabouts. I
can only hope Diana will be satisfied once she knows the truth. She is
not an easy woman to please. But now that I know the truth about my
father, perhaps she and I…” He shook his head helplessly, leaving the
rest of the statement unsaid.
“Do
not give up!” Father seized his arm in a tight grip. “I once advised
Vincent to forget Catherine. I told him she would only bring him
unhappiness. He said then he would be unhappy because he could not
forget her. You have seen the evidence of how sage my advice can be
sometimes.” The old man shook his head ruefully. “Diana is an astute
woman who deals in the truth. Do not be afraid to ask for what you
want.”
“You
have given me much to think about…” Azrael exhaled slowly. “My poor
mother went mad with grief and loneliness. But if it is true about John
Pater not being my father, then the taint of true insanity has been
removed from my blood. Perhaps there is hope, after all…”
“We’re being twenty
different shades of decadent here, you know.” Lying naked on her stomach
on a sun lounger beside the pool,
“I felt we needed to get
away from the city. From all the media attention…” Elliot looked across
at her somewhat absently before returning his attention to the
paperwork. “That Bennett woman was just too nosey. She needs to cool off
a bit. Joe telephoned yesterday to say she’s still running a private
inquiry into Cathy. He only found out by accident. He’s trying to shut
her down for good this time. We may have to fly back sooner than I’d
planned.”
“Yes, well, on the night
of the gallery opening, Azrael said he didn’t know how much longer he
could keep her from discovering the truth. Short of kidnapping her and
taking her out of the country, I don’t see what more we can do.”
“Joe and I have discussed
disposing of her once before.” Elliot grimaced, shaking his head. “Her
best attribute — her excellent detective skills — are becoming a
liability now. But we do owe a great deal for using those same skills to
save us, and all we care for, from certain destruction.”
“Well, we must leave it to
Joe and Azrael’s judgement of how much more we can tolerate.”
“An old mansion on the
He looked up at
“So many things...” Elliot
put aside the papers and reached to pull her down into his lap, placing
a line of lingering kisses across her naked shoulder. “Thinking about
the man I was before I knew anything about you and your world. Before
meeting Vincent and knowing Catherine loved him, such an incredible
human being, with all her heart. Wondering what I could do for them to
repay them for what they have given me. I’ve been sitting here studying
the provenance of some of the properties and I found something
interesting...”
He reached for the
discarded paperwork. “I found this.” His tracing finger stopped at a
name. “It appears that Charles Chandler once owned this house. It looks
like it’d been in his wife’s family for years, until she died. Then,
within a year, he’d sold up. I don’t know, perhaps the memories were
just too painful for him to go on living there without her.”
“Charles…you mean
Catherine’s father?”
“Well, I know Cathy lived
on The Upper East Side; she told me so herself. I can only assume this
is the same house. It all fits. The last owner sold it to me because
they couldn’t afford the on-going upkeep. It needs a lot of work.”
“But…”
“That’s exactly what I was
contemplating.” Elliot nodded thoughtfully. “It would take some doing.
First I want to know how deep beneath this area of
“Have I told you recently
how much I love you, Elliot Burch?”
“Not in so many words, not
within the past few hours.”
“Then we must remedy that
oversight immediately.”
The paperwork fluttered
unnoticed to the tiled pool surround as they surrendered to the sensual
pull of their mutual desire. Surging to his feet, in one fluid motion,
Elliot stood to carry his love across the tiles towards the billowing
white gauze curtains that concealed the oversized bed inviting them into
the cool, shadowed interior of the bedroom… |