San Diego B&B convention 2010
Saturday July 10
Surprise visit of Linda Hamilton

work in progress transcription, some parts cannot be heard from the recording we have for now. The good quality recording is being processed, and it will be finally uploaded here.


Moderator: Going to do a little Q&A with us for about a half an hour then weíre going to do some autographs.

Linda: Heavy preponderance of woman in the audience!

Audience (male): Yeah, Itís great!

Linda: Hi everyone. Thank you for that. That was lovely. I'm happy to be here.
Who kinda knew I was coming?

Audience: We were hoping...

Linda: I tried to get the Beast but he's on leave this weekend, had to get home to his mom whoís a bit ill... getting older... just like all of us. So... um... sorry about that, that would have been great fun for him and I and all of us, but heís in New York.

Audience: But youíre here...

Linda: Iím here and uh...yeah.


Linda: I was getting worried because... well youíll rue the day I said to Amy that whoever invited me - Iím up here without a clue. I mean... just without a clue... I have absolutely nothing probably to share that you guys donít know better than I do (audience laughs) I could like bring a shirt and say I wore this on the show and you all would go you did not (audience laughs) the buttons were different (audience laughs) cause that is the kind of fans that you are. So Iím honored and a little intimidated because I have absolutely, you know, really almost nothing to say about that show other than I loved it but I truly havenít sat... and I havenít looked at it for all these years, which I should have done my homework and sat down and watched... all, you know, 50 episodes or whatever but I didnít (*hear her bump the mic*) Take me straight to the hospital (audience laughs). Iím happy to be here and what are we going to do now? Look at you girls... Vicky... hi there, how are you? Thatís you Vicky... (laughs) Hi! Vicky did it!

Audience: Vicky is a Fulbright Scholar and sheís come to America to come to school for a few years from Paraguay.

Linda: From Paraguay... So are you Spanish speaking? Sž? Englais? Thatís all the Spanish that I speak. (audience laughs) OK, so... um... What else?

Moderator: Want to open the floor to some questions? Want to raise your hands to speak...

Audience: Isnít there one episode in that Vincent handed something to her and no one knew exactly what it was...

Moderator: And you expect her to remember that? [audience laughs] Linda, you can say that itís anything: we donít know... we donít know the answer to that question

Audience (to other members in the audience): Now help me out to know what episode it was...

Linda: Amy says itís the rose from a Childrenís Story...

[in the episode A Distant Shore, in the flashbacks on the plane, we see a scene from ACS, which is not in the real ACS episode, where C puts something in V's hand. In an earlier ACS script, C gives him the ivory rose - the idea was instead used in Temptation. Maybe the scene was filmed and edited].

Moderator: Mini had a question...

Linda: Hi Mini...

Audience: You were always in high heels and you did all that running in high heels...

Linda: Well...

Audience: And did you have any spills?

Linda: Well, my left foot will never be the same. Itís so true, and then I got pregnant the second season. It was... you know their answer... Their way to address my pregnancy or to cover up the pregnancy was bigger coats and higher heels. [audience ohhhhs] Youíll look thinner. So by the end it was like 10" heels. [audience laughs] 8 months pregnant. 10" heels. You learn to do that. You learn to do what you have to. I mean, there were lots of times where Iím sure I went down. Iím very clumsy actually, [audience laughs] sort of known for not being the most graceful. Um... so... there were lots of times I went down, yeah. You gotta do what the job asks for Ė discipline. Hello back there... no Iím talking to you the blue shirt... [audience laughs] you in the beauty and the beast T-shirt...

[audience laughs Ė "thatís everybody" heard]

Audience: Hi Linda, my question is: now Ron was a certain kind of character for you on Beauty and the Beast... have you seen his new show and what do you think of the "Sons of Anarchy"?

Linda: Oh God... I havenít seen it, but Iím pretty sure itís... a whole lot like Beauty and the Beast. [audience laughs] No... um... I really would like to see it but I really donít watch much television. Itís terrible to try to get me to sit down and do anything... So, Iím leaving, Iím out of here... (joking) and I really did mean to watch it, but I just havenít yet.

Audience: Youíll be in for a shock.

Linda: Yeah... Itís pretty dark

Audience: and intense...

Linda: and intense. Is that the same people that did Dead Wood? Is that the same company? Does anybody know ? Cause...

Audience: Arenít you doing Weeds... arenít you going to be on the new season?

Linda: Whereís that voice... oh hi... [audience laughs]

Audience: Going to have to watch that...

Linda: um.. no Iím not going to watch it... no thank you. I only did two episodes so they are kind of over selling it. I was hoping it would sort of turn into something else but I would love to kinda do regular... more regular work how about that? [audience "Yeah"] I want to go back to work full time. My daughter is just going off to college... my daughter has just been launched, [audience laughs] so Iím going back to work if I can but... um... yep thatís my plan... but Weeds was two days. Two scenes, two days Ė then they wanted me to do two days of press [audience chuckles] um no I donít have two days to talk about the two scenes I did on your show. Give me several years on your show and you can have as many days as you want but Um... No, I donít think that is particularly going to go anywhere else. Good, look for me though... dreadlocks. Loved those dreads... Love that look.

Audience: Did you have fun on "Sex and Mrs. X"?

Linda: I did... lots of fun... well except the part about working with Jaqueline Bisset. Sheís not here is she?... Jacqueline Bisset is not here?... um... other than having to work with Jacqueline [audience laughs] it was fun, I mean, that was such a fun romp... I got to have so few fun romps in my life you know.. Itís like a fun romp I did really have a good time. She is a little bit joyless through... sheís kind of one of those people sheís like ĎI think Iím perspiring Edward... Edward where are you... I feel a little spritz Edwardí [audience laughs] It was joyless. ĎWait a minute I think I think a light is in the wrong place. Take the lights down and do... just do better than thatí... boy, she can really kill your joy. But fun! Yes sir?

Audience: Donít call me sir, I work for a living... [jokingly said Ė Linda and audience laughed] Thatís a joke from the other men in the room... Will the men in the room please stand up?... You DO have male fans!

Linda: Ahhh, you're just nice... nice husbands all right. Who here is a husband? 1...2... 3... all right... the single ones line up at the end of the night... [audience laughs]

Audience: That husband over there brought the wife into the fandom... so... that was a reversal

Linda: Nice... nice...

Moderator: Question? Natalie..

Linda: Hey Natalie!

Audience: Howís it going... What made you decide to do the show... what resonated with you... was it the character... was it the people you were going to work with... like what was it...

Linda: You mean this convention or the show?

Audience: The show.

Linda: Ummm... I loved the romance. I genuinely loved the romance. I mean... all you get is the pilot episode, right? I mean when you take a job, there is nothing but the pilot, [audience: "right"] and it was a show that everyone was so excited about... Rick Baker... you know and I remember the first time I saw the Beast... and it was just sexy, it was a sexy show to do, and Ron Koslow had written it for me as well, I think based on having seen the first Terminator. [audience: "yeah"] See, that was also really flattering, it probably could have sucked and I would have still done it... like oh, thank you!... You donít always get your pick of the best work in town, but this was kind of a lucky thing because it really did excite me and you know I actually had... I had big dreams for it, which is pretty funny because I kept thinking... you know, they could really really really go with the comedy here. [audience laughs] Iím always like 180 degrees in the wrong direction, but I thought: can't we lighten up?... That was actually one of the struggles that I had with Koslow and the guys in the tower Witt Thomas... trying to find a way... just felt like... and of course that never works in the formula of television. they want you just repeat... what has been working... every week, so they donít take any chances, they just do their best to make it all the same so you never turn away... So I really kept saying: let's do comedy, let's do comedy... Vincent teaches her to ride the subway trains... [audience laughs] I just thought there was a missed opportunity, but they werenít going for lightness on that show. Later, you know, it was all sadness, loss, grief, death...

Audience: There was no death!

Linda: My specialty|

Audience: There was no death!

Linda: There was no death... you guys are so in such denial... (laughs from audience and with the audience) 22 years later, here you are...

Moderator: And we were right: sheís sitting up there...

Audience: We were getting concerned when they were handing out the hospital bracelets  (confused noise, laughs and applause).
[the comment about hospital bracelets referred to the hospital bracelets which were handed out earlier with fans' names and group numbers so folks could continue to participate in activities and be called into the art room for autographs in an orderly fashion. That way they didn't have to stand in a line for 2 hours.]

Linda: Thatís pretty funny.

Audience: You and Ron were able to do such lovely literary work... would you ever consider doing that audio books?

Linda: Wouldnít I love that... I would really love that. Cause I still as I said Iím really a fan of the spoken word, the written word big time. I have done some books and after Alice in Wonderland I donít think they are going to have me back. {audience laughs} I read Alice in Wonderland all by myself. You know how hard that is? Playing all those crazy parts? I mean that was crazy, but anyway they won't be having me back. But you know I would love... I did actually some childrenís Shakespeare... I have done books on tape. I actually was a little strange about it because I thought am I... but there is Vicky here, who canít... you know... you will have the satisfaction of hearing the words... because I love to read so much... I thought I was cheating by doing books on tape... thatís what I started to say, but then thereís a whole population that really... and my best friend who... is around here, somewhere, sheís hiding... there she is... her mother has macular degeneration.. you know and you realize there is a whole population that you can help bring the joy of the written word to by doing that. Yeah, I would like to do Jane Eyre... I was actually raised on all those super super gothic romances, you know, the Daphne DuMaurier... yeah, and all those great books... So I got a lot of gothic in me. Really enjoy doing that kind of work.

Moderator: Peggy?

Audience: When they did the phantom kiss were you aware that is how it should be done or ??? [Question asked was what did Linda think about the way The Powers That Be chose to end "A Happy Life" (i.e., w/ a "soul kiss" instead of what they'd filmed).]

Linda: I shed huge tears over that... Because I... and mine werenít happy... were yours happy?

Audience: NOOO!

Linda: No, I felt so ripped off... itís exactly what I spoke of... (audience applauds) You know... and I had my heart and soul in that character, and really wanting to just advance the storyline... not have me put his head... oop (huge laughter from crowd) I never put his head anywhere! To put my head on his shoulder every week and sigh... it just wasnít enough for me. I wanted to just bring the passion... plus when it... well it really wasnít an unrequited, it was just an impossible love, so impossible love when it finally... when there is collision of these two forces, it should have been much more powerful and with no restraint and thatís the way we shot it (mimics spitting and removing hair from her mouth)... after every take (laughs and applause)

Linda Stork: How many kisses were there that we didnít get to see that ended up on the cutting room floor besides that one fantastic one?

Linda: 173...

Linda Stork: There were a lot?

Linda: Yeah 173, because I was counting. So you know you canít always win battles... I mean, I think back and I think how young... wasnít that young but so much younger than I am now, and I think that you really... I donít know... I donít know... I think that if I were carrying a show today as well, I would fight just as hard to... you know, I think I spent the first year rather unhappy. The second year I was pregnant and had to sort keep myself calmer, but unhappy with what they didnít do, and how far they didnít go, so there was always that, with me pushing them to take us in a new direction... that I think might have competed with my joy a little bit. Iím not sure that is the way to arrange your life where you are struggling so had to advance something that it takes your joy away. And there were days, because I was just really so devoted to the show, that it took away my joy. I donít think... donít think thereís much that could steal my joy anymore. My joy is right out there all the time.

Jodie Boyle from Australia: Hi Linda... nice to meet you...

Linda: Nice to meet you...

Jodie Boyle: Thank you... I loved Olivia...(?) and I just wanted to know what was your favorite episode that you can remember that really touched you.. like which one did you absolutely love .

Linda: I know... I donít really know the names... I donít have the slightest idea... What was the one...

Audience: Weíll know it...

Linda: You will... I did actually love the season ender... the kiss, because the opera, and there was so much heartbreak going on and wanting to... (audience "Happy Life" ) yeah, that was A Happy Life... I loved.. that was such an opportunity... you know and it was just so dramatic... And I love the costumes... Judy Evans, I think was probably the greatest costume supervisor designer ever ever ever worked with... you know, and her love of doing... I donít know, she had so many shows going, and she still hand made at least one of my changes for every show. She understood where we were going... that black dress, and the hair pulled back, and the tragedy... that was great fun to get to act... all that stuff... running across the park sobbing... And there were many moments in each one I liked... certain scenes were better, but that was definitely my favorite episode.

Audience: You know Linda when I was watching your episodes some of them, some bits were just OK and some were... I just loved it, but every time you and Ron were together in a scene it was... (audience chimed in "perfect")

Linda: We got a certain language going you know... heís just the smartest man I know... I donít think I realized that back then... it was all about ME (half jokingly said) {audience laughed} He really is the smartest man I know. Heís just amazing. You know, we had to do the commentary before they released the second season and I certainly will never look at it because I pretty much sat there and they would ask me a question and I would go ĎI donít know... Ron? {Audience laughs} uh... Ron what do you think? í just absolutely... you know heís got like perfect recall. Anyway... Yeah?

Audience (Kathleen): [Canít make out the exact words but sounded to me like what direction did Linda want the relationship on the show to go or about the quality of the V/C relationship shown (romantic tone, intensity, etc.)]

Linda: It was all lovely and whispered and romantic, and hidden, mysterious... those are really kind of the ingredients, arenít they, when you sort of break romance down... those are the things that get our hearts pounding... I tend to be... I loved the romance but I think it should have been maybe peppered with something that wasnít quite so earnest all the time. You know, the bleeding heart... I think any actress in time gets tired of that kind of life. I mean the womanís a district attorney for Godís sake, in New York, itís not like every case could be that important to her. You know, pleading with the criminals to have a heart... you know what I mean, at a certain point you want to say: lets put something juicy in there and fun... we did that a little bit, we had some moments... some episodes... whoís the little gypsy kid con artist... and that was fun. I remember sort of getting turned on by some of that light dialogue but there wasnít enough light dialogue in my opinion... But that wasnít sort of what the show was about either... you know what I mean, but I just think that the richer you can make... the truthful experience which is, you canít always be earnest and whispered. Itís got to be broken up, so you can really appreciate the earnest whispered dialogue. So I think I would have just gone... I would have taken it as far as I possibly could in every other direction too. Which just makes it more vital... I mean, that is the vital life experience... is some of this, and a lot of that, and then some of that, some of this, you know what I mean, and thatís truthful.

Audience: My question is who would you like to be if you werenít you?

Linda: [ a long pause ] Would you accept you? (crowd and Linda laughs) I think thereís still a chance for me to be who I want to be, which not quite there yet... I would really like to do something on a serious level for the world. You know, my days thinking about Linda Hamilton are long over. It hasnít been about me for a long time, and Iím so proud of that it just you know... I had my time where it was all about me for a long time, so... I would like to be some sort of Good Will Ambassador / UN Ambassador / Spokesperson. I like to say... that thereís a kernel of truth in it, that Iím the one in my family that didnít do something with her life... theyíre all doctors, nurses, and I know thatís not true... But we are really from a family of give back, and just do as much as we can. So I donít quite know what that is yet... what I can do... I know that the level that Iím talking about is sort of on a full time level. Itís not just like shoot a commercial... itís more like really be a traveling ambassador, and thereís so much that I just think there are never going to be enough seconds in the day or seconds left where I can just do a meaningful act ,and I really believe in just being as kind and as much of Godís beacon as I can be, to every person that I meet, because... why not. So something Big... something {audience applauds} meaningful.

Moderator: Tamara... and I just wanted to mention to you that Tamara is the artist who created the crystal you wore...

Linda: Yes..... yes! I know.. how are you! Youíre still like 19 {audience laughs] My God, you look great!

Tamara: Thank you... itís a privilege to share energies with you and thank you for showing up. I was just curious to know and people have asked me since they resuscitated the crystal I made for you after 20 years... at any rate what happened to your original prop that Bill Deets (?)

Linda: Bill Deets... ah he sure is... um I donít know. They did not send that home with me. Probably ended up in props and they probably auctioned it off or did something... Nobody knows here? Nobody in this room?

Audience: No... [laughter] weíre sorry [chatter that I canít understand all at once]... birthday

Linda: Yes.. Yes... so beautiful, my birthstone sort of... the Libra thing yeah... I am... are you girls twins? Cool... I thought so... {audience laughter} where are you from ? Ahhh that is where my twin is... sheís in Mount Morrow (?) Where are you from ? { Canít hear their side of the conversation}

Audience: You had one of the most fabulous warbdrobes on TV, Did you get to keep anything?

Linda: Nothing! I tried so hard.

Audience: We have some of it!

Linda: OK, there was a blue blazer velvet dress, you know, the panee velvet... does anyone know what Iím talking about? Itís dark blue... I believe I was pregnant when I wore it but... is that one still around?

Audience: We havenít found it yet, but we have a lot of other customes...

Linda: Ahhh I loved that dress... I wanted that dress. I just wish I could be one of those actresses who would just put it in her bag and leave. {Audience laughs} I could never be that person. I actually hung my clothes up at the end of the day, right side out.

Audience:... Full size stain glass window... and when they broke it Ė that did not look like a real stain glassed window the way it broke, it looks like it was plastic or something... I was just wondering if they didnít have multiples of those and they broke one...

Linda: Itís broken?

Audience: [laughs] In the dream...

Linda: I actually... Iím sure it wasnít glass because real... that kind of glass... I imagine it was a plastic replica because that glass flying to redo it and redo it and redo it Ė very expensive so...

Audience: It broke in the wrong size pieces

Linda: Yeah... doesnít it always...

Audience: [not sure on exact words but asking if the main prop was a real glass window]

Linda: Yes, I believe that was real ,and they did a replica [something from audience unheard] No...

Audience: blue dress...

Linda: Itís with the blue dress living happily ever after...

Audience: [laughs] and the crystal...

Linda: And the crystal! [laughing]

Winterose: I wanted to ask you or say something about giving something back... I mean I donít think... itís easy to say ĎOh Iím not a doctor" but I donít think you realize the impact...

Linda: Thank you... no, you canít really, because then that would give me a big ego or something... I mean, I understand, because I have Bruce Springsteen [audience laughs] I mean, it is so nice, isnít it, to have someone who just anchors you and is like your comfort food or whatever it is that that person... I understand because I have Bruce Springsteen... and when I actually had a chance to meet him I couldnít speak. [audience laughs] So I understand what thatís like.

Audience: I just know there are people here that have said that they... seen your character especially overcome her hardships in that show was in fact life changing.

Linda: From the fans... the ways... yeah... well, it is kind of hard to believe, because I didnít even write the words, for Godís sake. All I did was lend them some... make them seem real, but once again the characters arenít me. Iím just Linda Hamilton, and donít get me wrong, I love my job, the... [*deep breath/sigh*] I love my work, thereís nothing that makes me feel sort of more connected to God than acting, which is so great... itís like the hard work is staying home, and raising the children, really: you never know how that is going to turn out [audience laughs] But so I donít mean to reduce it and say that it... that I havenít been blessed and loved every minute of it... Itís just to acknowledge the significance of what I do, is something else entirely. You know what I mean, but I have gotten some of those letters myself Ė Vicky and some of those life tales, and hey, whatever... whatever it takes to get you through the day... Iím glad that I could help. [audience chuckles]

Moderator: We have one more question Ė Rosemarie

Rosemarie: [canít hear the question at all]

Linda: Oh Yes...

Rosemarie: [canít hear the question at all]

Linda: I donít know thereís something thatís still soft in me maybe, and itís the combination of soft and capable or vulnerable and strong at the same time that makes it work maybe... I donít know. I donít even think Iím that good a lot of the time... do you know what I mean Ė I work hard but I see Kate Blanchet and just like want to quit [audience laughs] You know, itís well, itís good too... youíll always sort of find somebody who does your work better than you, and you need to have her killed (joking) [audience laughs] but thatís what keeps us humble and thatís what keeps us trying... you know when I look back at my work Iím like: uggh! I could do that so much better now... oh let me try that one again... itís just really hard to go back and actually love it and be convinced that itís my best thing. Iím pretty critical. So my best bet is just to not watch it and leave myself alone. Although I am... you know what I mean... because really Iím always going to find room for improvement [audience said something] OK Iíll take your word for it... Iím the best!

Audience: [claps and cheers] Yeah!

Moderator: One more question... then a small presentation

Linda: [upon seeing the large cardboard Vincent in the room] I know him! He still looks great doesnít he? Vincent looks good... [audience agrees] Yeah... uh huh what?

Moderator: We play some bad games...

Linda: Pin the mmm on the mmm Ė got it... good for you! [Audience laughs]

Moderator: Ms. Hamilton we have a little presentation for you.

Linda: ahhh but... you didnít know I was coming... [audience laughs]

Audience/moderator: On behalf of the con we would like to present you with this con T-shirt and it says on the back [??? Too much laughing to hear]

Linda: Ahhh thatís sweet

Moderator: We have another con virgin [audience laughs and cheers]

Linda: Iíll take this microphone to my room and I wonít be a virgin anymore. [audience laughs] I was just having a quick bite to eat in the old town courtyard over there where there are like 15 mexican restaurants... and the bartender... we actually got jammed for time and we said: could we pay before we eat... we had like 15 minutes to get the food gobbled down, and then thereís the awkward conversation about where do you have to go. I was like: well... just to the Marriot for a little convention [reluctantly said] [audience laughing] Ďoh, what convention?í oh, just for an old TV show Ė the girl wasnít even born in í89! And it just got more and more awkward because she could see that I was holding back something you know [audience laughs] Then when I said Beauty and the Beast, she said ĎThere was a TV show called Beauty and the Beast?í Soo...

Moderator: Where is she... weíll go slap her... [jokingly laughing]

Linda: So I know that day will come too... and itís already happened actually... itís already come and gone... you know, where you sign up for dinner, and they go Ďoh... there used to be an actress named Linda Hamilton!í So Iím good with all of it... So weíre going to do some autographs and whatever you gues want...

Moderator: Just wanted you to know that we have a Beast Bingo game that we play everyday and today what we collected in proceeds will in your honor go to the Starlight Foundation because we know that is a favorite charity of yours.

Linda: How nice... lovely..

Moderator: A little way we can give back Ė Thank you so much for being with us.

Linda: That would be great...

Audience: [could not hear]

Linda: Hey guys... right back at you. [lots of clapping] OK so... oh yeah is there... whoís the one who set up the donation to Monarch school... do we have a rep from Monarch school here?.... And where does the art come from? You just... like... oh how nice... is it all Beauty and the Beast?

Moderator: Artists stand up..

Linda: Oh cool [something about the costumes from the audience] Letís see if they still fit..

Audience: [laughs and applauds] They will..

Linda: OK so um Monarch.. are they a San Diego school?

Audience: They are a public school in San Diego specifically for homeless children

Linda: Got ya... I read the... Iím actually very impressed by that... that was one of the real draws for me because that sounds like totally meaningful Ė Did you guys read about the Monarch school? A hundred children here. I mean if you could get... If I got that on my resume... a hundred kids a year.. helping them move on... that would be a wonderful... that would be a nice number Ė well Iím going to... Iím actually going to talk to them and see what... see if they could move it a little closer to Malibu... [audience laughs] so I could participate Ė you know homeless children in Malibu [audience laughs] Weíll see you in a few minutes Ė thanks for being here!