Chapter 27
PATIENCE
John lived through it, but Sarah and Johner wondered sometimes if he would; he got thinner, and so did Carly. They visited often on weekends; Carly was still using Johner’s bedroom, but John confided that things were progressing, and he was hopeful, if not contented. When the time came to make plans for summer break, John asked for a family conference.
"Can Carly come to spend the summer here? She can get a summer job here as well as there, and neither of us wants to be separated for so long. Would that be all right with you two? I know that puts you out of your bedroom, Johner." John grinned. "But let’s face it, you don’t use it a whole lot anyway. And Mom has her own bathroom, you’d keep your privacy. Carly would be glad to pay rent, and chip in for food."
"Carly is welcome to stay here, and paying for it is not necessary." Sarah frowned at John. "Did you tell her she’d have to pay?"
"No, no, I told her she wouldn’t! But she made me promise I’d offer. She doesn’t want to be any kind of drag on you people. She’s very nervous about this whole thing; thinks it’s an imposition or something. I had to talk her into letting me even ask.
"She’s especially nervous about your bedroom, Johner. When she’s stayed overnight she’s seen that you store your clothes there, and she thinks it’s going to make life difficult for you."
"Hell, I lived out of a footlocker for twenty years. Connor can move over a little, I don’t take up much room."
"Wha-a-at? If I hadn’t got a king size bed I’d be sleeping on the floor! Jesus, he thinks he doesn’t take up much room! I don’t believe it!" Sarah looked at him with laughing eyes. "You weigh two hundred and forty pounds; if you think that doesn’t take up much room, you must be nuts!"
Johner drew himself up with dignity. "I was referring to closet space. If you think that I’m taking up too much room in your bed, I can find another place to sleep. There’s always the broom closet at work, and according to what I hear I wouldn’t have to sleep alone there either!" He looked down at her haughtily, but his eyes laughed at her.
"Try it. I’ll kill you." she laughed, leaning toward him, and his arms came up to hold her.
John was disgusted. "Stop! Damn it, you two, can’t you ever think about anything else?"
"Anything else than what, John?" His mother grinned at him from Johner’s arms.
"OK, OK, you’re not embarrassing me. After living with you two for years, nothing embarrasses me. Let’s get back to business here. This is a family conference, not a love-nest!"
Johner didn’t let go of Sarah, but he answered. "Isn’t the conference over? I thought it was all settled. Carly lives in my room for the summer; or at least until you can talk her into sharing yours, John. Now can I get back to what I started here?" He began to kiss Sarah’s neck.
"No!" Sarah squirmed in his hold. "We’re not finished!"
"You squirm like that and I’ll show you what’s not finished!" Johner held her tighter against him.
Laughing, Sarah pushed at his shoulders, trying to free herself with no success. "Johner! Will you behave!"
"Mom, that’s just an invitation for him to misbehave. God, you should know that by now!"
John was right. The family conference degenerated into laughter and horseplay.
******
Carly loved living in Sarah’s house; the atmosphere of easy fellowship and the pervading sense of love’s presence was totally unlike anything in her experience. She was amazed and mystified at the relationship between Sarah and Johner. "How long have they been together, John?"
"I don’t know exactly, about four years."
"And they still feel this way about each other? They’re just like kids!" Carly shook her head. "I never saw two people so much in love; and they’re pretty old, John."
"Tell me about it. I’ve been calling them teenagers for years."
"I think it’s the nicest thing I ever saw. It makes me believe in love. That’s something I haven’t ever really thought existed until now."
John looked at her quizzically. "Don’t you believe I love you, Carly?" Then, as he studied her face, "---Oh! You don’t!"
"No, that’s not true---I’m beginning to believe it. But John, what’s happened to me since I met you is so different from all the rest of my life---and now this thing with your parents; I don’t know, John, it just seems so unreal, like a movie or something. It’s easier to believe in what I’ve known all my life than in this---love thing."
John put his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "Honey, believe it, please. Believe in me; believe that I love you. It can be for us like it is for Mom and Johner, all our lives. We’ve got that chance---let it happen, Carly!"
********
John always believed that seeing the relationship between Johner and Sarah was what tipped the balance; but for whatever reason, Carly’s fear and inhibition disappeared during that summer vacation. On a hot night in August, John was aroused from an uneasy doze broken by half dreams of Carly; a soft tap on his door made his heart pound.
"John? May I come in?" Carly’s voice was as soft and hesitant as her knock.
John struggled to keep his voice casual. "Sure, honey, come on."
She appeared ghostly in the dark room , her white nightgown seeming to glide across the floor. She sat down on the foot of his bed, drawing her feet up under her gown.
John sat up to reach for the lamp. "No, don’t turn it on." Her voice was still very uncertain. "I---I thought we could talk a little. Is that OK?"
"What do you think? Don’t you think I’d rather talk to you than lay here by myself thinking about you?"
He saw her teeth make a light spot on her face as she smiled at him through the dark. "Were you thinking about me?"
"Carly, I’m always thinking about you. Always. But for some reason more so tonight. Maybe because you were thinking about me?"
"I was. I was thinking about---" She stopped suddenly. He thought she sounded embarrassed.
"Tell me, honey."
"Oh, John, I was thinking about when you washed the car this afternoon. I---was thinking about---how you looked without your shirt. John, honey---take off your pajama top."
John’s heart was pounding with unbearable excitement, but he pulled his shirt over his head without haste, and sat quietly, saying nothing.
Carly got up and moved closer to him, then reached out to turn on the bedside lamp. She looked at his body, her eyes moving over his smoothly muscled torso; then, slowly, her hand came out and touched his chest, moving over it with light touches. John’s eyes closed, and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly in a long shaky exhalation.
Her eyes came up to his face, away from what her hand was doing. "Is this too hard for you?"
"Carly, I love every minute of it. If you want to keep this up for a week, I’ll just sit here and enjoy it."
She looked down again at her hand. Its movement was more assured now. She stroked his skin with a sensual pleasure in its feel, her eyes following what she did. After a minute, she bent her head, and her mouth replaced her hand, kissing slowly from his collar bone down his pectoral to the nipple. When her mouth closed over it, he gasped and stiffened, but his hands stayed at his sides.
"Lie down, John." He slid down in the bed and Carly pulled the covers off his body; his erection was very evident.
"Sorry, honey; I can’t help that." His smile was strained.
"Don’t be sorry, John. I’m not." He lifted his hips to help her as she pulled his pajamas off him, lifting the waistband over the evidence of his desire. Then she just sat beside him, looking down at his body.
"Carly---please, honey, I don’t know what you expect of me now."
Carly got up, and looking steadily into his eyes she reached down and pulled her nightgown over her head.
"I expect---I expect you to love me." As she lay down beside him, she lifted his hand, and placed it softly on her breast.