Chapter 31
BEING HUMAN
"He’s just so---so perfect! Oh, Sarah, I never should have let this start; I’m totally nuts about him. I don’t know what to do now!"
Sarah put her arms around Call and hugged her sympathetically. "Sounds like we do have a bit of a problem."
"Sarah, this can’t happen! Damn it, robots don’t fall in love! My real name, my designation, is ANLE-CL That’s the way I started out. But I’m Annalee Call now; I’m not a machine any more! I’m in love with him, and machines don’t fall in love! Oh Sarah, I’m scared to death to tell him; I’m so scared he’ll hate me!" She bent over, her arms clasped across her stomach.
Johner smiled, but his face was sympathic. "Painful, huh? Listen to one who knows, Call; the more human you get, the more it hurts. I found that out when I ceased being an animal. The lows are a whole new level of pain---but Call, the highs make any amount of pain worthwhile." His arm went around Sarah, and he looked fondly down at her. "I wouldn’t go back to the way it was for---well, I’d die first."
"Yeah, I hear you, and I believe you, I just don’t know what’s right in this situation. I’ve got to take some action. To let Jack go on this way is morally indefensible, but I just can’t walk away from him now. I don’t know what I was thinking of to let this thing happen in the first place!"
"You weren’t thinking; you were feeling." Johner was amused. "I’m not laughing at your pain, Call. I’m laughing because it’s so human. That’s what people do; they don’t think in these situations, they just go for it." He laughed again, and put his hand on her shoulder. "Call, you’re not a robot any more. Face it. You’re as human as I am."
"Well, except for a few little things in my insides. Come on, Johner, I’m never going to be as human as you are." She stopped, looked away, and took a breath. "For one thing, I’m not ever going to have a child. There are some things beyond the scope of modern science."
Connor answered that one. "Lots of women can’t have children. Big deal! But---have you got to the point with Jack where you’re talking about having kids?"
Call shook her head. "Not really, it’s just that he loves kids; he slows the car down when we go by a playground. I wouldn’t want to deprive him of---. Oh, for Christ sake, what are we talking about this for? There are more serious problems, Connor! I’m a robot!" Call’s face crumpled, and the tears began to flow.
After a couple of minutes she sniffled, and reached for a tissue. "Why the hell did they give me tears? They make my nose run!"
Connor smiled. "They make everyone’s nose run, Call. It’s human."
Johner had been thinking; now he interposed. "All this is secondary. The first question is. how will he react when you tell him? He’s a cop, and a dedicated one, I think. Will he feel that it’s his duty to turn you in? If he doesn’t, will he feel guilty about it forever? Just as a man, cop aside, will he be able to accept what you are? Will it repel him? You’ve wondered about all of this, haven’t you, Call."
"When I’m lying in bed at night not sleeping you bet I wonder about it. All night long. And the next night, and the next." She looked up, grinning. "It’s not something you can sound a person out about. ‘Speaking of lawn mowers, how do you feel about making love to one?’
"Johner, I haven’t got the faintest notion how he’d react. Not a clue in the world. But I think I’m going to have to tell him. ---Well! I didn’t know I was going to say that until it came out; I guess I’ve made the decision. I’ll tell him tonight." She looked much less strained suddenly; the decision was indeed made.
"I think you’re right, Call. You have to tell him." Johner put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, and Sarah agreed silently, with a nodding head and an embrace.
********
By common consent, without any discussion,
they waited up for her. When she came in they were drinking
coffee at the table; she got a cup and sat down with them. She said
nothing, just poured coffee and took a slow sip. Her face was unreadable. 
"Well? What happened?" Connor couldn’t wait any longer.
"I’m not exactly sure, it’s so----." She stopped.
"What? Call, did you tell him? "
"Yes. I told him."
Sarah frowned, puzzled. "Well? What did he say?"
Silence. Call looked at her coffee cup.
Johner put his hand on Sarah’s arm. " Call, maybe you don’t want to talk about this?"
Call shook her head, looking down at her cup. "Yes, yes, I want to tell you. I just---it’s just so---. Well, ---I told him, flat out. I said: ‘I’m a robot; an Auton, the series that was recalled; they’re all dead, except they missed me. But if they catch me, I’m dead too; it’s illegal for me to be alive.’
"You know what he did? I can’t believe this yet---it’s just---. He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling for a couple of minutes; then he took hold of both my hands, and just looked at them, the front and the back; just looked. And then he reached up and touched my face, and my hair. And then he looked right into my eyes, and he said. ‘Will you marry me?’"
Sarah leaned slowly back in her chair, her hands flat on the table. "Holy Cow."
Johner relaxed also, grinning from ear to ear. "Go, Jack!"
Call’s face blossomed into a beatific smile. "Sooo---I’m getting married. Will you guys stand up with us?"
********
But they didn’t get married after all. With a solemn face, Call announced at dinner that the wedding was called off; Sarah was horrified.
"For God’s sake! What happened, Call?"
Call grinned. "Blood tests."
"Oh!"
"Yeah, we didn’t think of it either. But who needs marriage anyhow, Sarah? You two are doing fine without it, and the important thing is, he asked. I’ll be leaving you at the end of the week. We found a great apartment, and it’s vacant."
*******
"Well, we’re on our own again, babe." Johner turned from the door, having shut it behind Jack and Call.
Sarah looked up at him from under her brows. "Yes. We are. Johner, get in the bedroom. I want to talk to you!"
Johner laughed. "How about in the kitchen? Or the living room? We did it in the bedroom while we had company. Why don’t we spread out a little, now that we’ve got the house to ourselves?"
"I’m too old for the kitchen table, and the couch is too short. Into the bedroom!"
He chuckled, then his smile softened
and his arms went around her. He kissed her eyes and cheeks
and began to nuzzle her neck. His voice was velvety soft as
he murmured, "OK babe, anything you say, any way you want it.
Any time, any place; I live to make love with you, any way at all."