DAYBREAK
The car was sitting in the driveway in front of Sarah's house. It had been there for more than two hours, with Johner slumped over the wheel half asleep while he waited for the boy to wake up. God, the kid couldn't sleep forever! Gray light was breaking in the east as he roused himself to look over at Des once more. The boy hadn't moved, but his eyes were open, staring at Johner.
"'Morning, kid. Thought you were going to sleep right on through the day." Johner stretched as much of himself as he could in the confines of the car. "Ready for breakfast?"
Silence.
"OK, we'll wait for breakfast, we'll talk first. I guess we need to have things cleared up a little. I'm gonna tell you exactly what's up, Des. I thought it over while you slept, and I'm just gonna lay it out for you the way I see it.
"This is my home, what you see there in front of you. If you agree, my plan is to take you into my house, take you to live with my family. You probably think I'm nuts." He shook his head. "Maybe I am.
"Well, I'll try to explain. I was a…" He stopped, thought, then shook his head. "No, I'll just give you the short version for now. It'll be easier.
"I grew up on the street. Just like you. Very much like you. Been on the street all your life?" Johner waited for an answer.
Des watched him warily for a minute, then nodded slowly.
"Me too. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but….I've got the god-damnedest notion that I can save you, or something. Probably I'm nuts." He stopped, not knowing how to continue, then bulled ahead, in typical Johner fashion.
"Well, whatever. Let's look at the part that's important to you, OK? It'll be a good deal for you in some ways. I'll provide everything you need to live while you're here with us. You don't have to scramble for anything. You don't have to go to school, you don't have to work, you can lay around all day and do nothing. I'll provide it all." He grinned; Des was looking more suspicious with every word.
"Wondering what's in it for me, aren't you? So am I, believe me! Don't know how to make you understand, I don't understand it myself. I…can't explain it…yet…but I'll keep thinking about it, I'll get it straight enough someday so I can explain it to you." There was a touch of shyness in his grin.
"Anyhow! It's not all gravy, I've got conditions…rules. Three of 'em. No stealing. No drugs. No violence. Those three rules are all there are. No drugs, no stealing, no violence. Only three, but firm. No exceptions. Got it?
"Those are the rules, but there's a whole list of things I'd like for you to do. Things like be polite, be clean, be friendly. And another one…don't lie to me; I don't like being lied to much. But these are not rules. Got it?"
"Connor---she's my woman, she lives here, probably isn't gonna be very happy about this at first, but she's the world's greatest person, and she'll go along with it. The important thing for you to know about her is, she won't take it out on you, no matter how mad she is at me.
"Well, whaddaya think? Oh---one more thing. No strings. You can leave now, or whenever you want. No cops, no manhunt. I'll probably look for you, depending on how mad I am when you leave, but I won't turn the cops onto you, ever."
Des just stared at him. After a minute he lifted his wrists, still chained to the door. Johner quickly unfastened the cuffs, then just sat, waiting for Des to decide what to do next.
Des opened the door on his side and got out. Johner got out on his side. Des turned and started to walk away. Johner watched him go, leaning on the top of the car, his face not showing anything. After a few steps, Des stopped and looked back. Johner said nothing, his face still impassive.
Des stood, still wary and unbelieving, but Johner thought he was tempted. He watched the boy with panic in his heart that he'd keep on walking, but he let nothing show on the outside. He didn't move, almost didn't breathe. He felt as if he were trying to coax a wild animal to eat from his hand.
When Des made up his mind it was without words, silence being what he appeared to prefer. He walked to the front door of the house and turned to look at Johner, waiting to be let in.
*********
Sarah, as usual, astonished Johner with her generosity. When he walked into
the kitchen with Des, her first words after she learned his name were:
"Hi, Des. Want a Coke? I'm having one." When he nodded, she went to the fridge and got him one. She opened it on the way back and presented it to him with a little bow. "There. Ready to drink. The service is pretty good around here, huh?" She grinned at him and sat down at the kitchen table.
"How about some breakfast with your Coke?" Johner began to rattle pans in his usual fashion. "How many eggs, Des? Bacon or sausage?"
Des looked at Johner, then at Sarah. "Isn't she cooking?" His first words since entering the house.
"Nope. I do the cooking."
"What're you, some kinda wimp? Women cook."
"Not here. I cook here."
"Are you a woman?" With derision in his voice.
Johner grinned. "Ask her." He jerked his head at Sarah.
"Trust me, Des, he's not a woman." Sarah smiled at Johner, letting her affection show in her face.
"I bet he is. I bet he pees sitting down." Des looked back and forth between them.
Johner's grin widened. "If you wanna get my goat try another subject, Des. I'm not worried about being a man. I like to cook, and we'd all die of hunger if Connor was doing the cooking!" Johner glanced at Sarah, smiling, as he broke eggs into the frying pan. "How many eggs, Des? Speak up!"
"Six." Des obviously thought he was being outrageous.
"OK. Bacon or sausage?"
"Both."
"OK. How many toast?"
"Six."
Johner turned from the frying pan to grin at him. "Hungry, huh? Well, that's what it's for. I like someone who'll eat when I cook!"
Des ate it all, and drank five cups of coffee to boot.
**********
Sarah surveyed Johner with a raised eyebrow. "OK, youwant
to explain to me just what's going on here? Where in hell did you pick him up?
Are you expecting him to be permanent?" When he didn't answer immediately,
she continued, "Let me in on your
plans,
huh? Slightly after the fact, but better late than never, I guess." She
leaned back against her pillow, staying on her own side of the bed, her arms
crossed, her body language telling Johner plainly that she was annoyed.
He looked down at his hands. "I snatched him into the car in the middle of an attempted robbery. And…yes, I hope he's permanent; and yes, I know it's been sprung on you…but Connor…" He reached over to lift Sarah into his arms, holding her against his chest. He looked at her with pleading eyes, his voice husky. "Don't be mad, Connor. Please, please…I know you think I'm nuts…when I look at it from your point of view, I am. But babe, this is…I just…I don't know what to say…"
He took a deep breath in an attempt to release the tension he felt. "Connor, this kid is me. He's me! I see myself so plainly…Christ!" He stopped and one hand went to the back of his neck, massaging the tight muscles there. "I just…I couldn't do it, babe. I couldn't leave him there…in the street. Not this one. Not this time. I just…Connor…please…"
He turned his head down and away from her, unable to let even Sarah see his face. The words to express the fundamental significance of this matter to him came slowly and with difficulty. "I thought…Connor, I…well, maybe I can…save him, …save him from fifty years of..." His throat closed; he couldn't finish. He shook his head and gathered her closer into his arms, completely inarticulate now.
He didn't need to finish. Sarah knew the never-ending pain that was the result of his first fifty years on earth. As he buried his head in her shoulder she murmured words of comfort and support, her hands stroking his back.. "It's OK, babe, it's OK with me… don't you think I saw it too, the minute he walked in? He's you, babe…he's you. It's OK…we'll make it all right…it'll be OK…this time it'll come out right..." Her voice trailed away into soft murmurs, her love for him in every sound.