Bruises
by Rosemarie Hauer
Josiah winced and groaned as the cool, wet cloth made contact with his shoulder.
"I’m sorry," Elizabeth murmured, carefully sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Josiah, I really think I should get Nathan."
"No!" Just a small word, but uttered with such force that Elizabeth decided to leave the issue alone for the moment. She could imagine quite well how embarrassing it would be for Josiah to admit that he had fallen off his horse. The fact that the animal had shied away from a rattlesnake would probably make little difference with his not exactly compassionate friends.
"Then let me attend to the scratches on your face and neck," Elizabeth suggested gently.
He didn’t reply to that. His hand went to the bridge of his nose and he rubbed the spot between his eyes.
"It seems to be fated," he rasped, "that you end up alone with me in...situations like this."
Elizabeth was touched by the fact that even in his condition he was concerned about her reputation. "It’s long past midnight," she countered. "Who would come for a visit at such an ungodly hour?" He didn’t respond, and she studied his face as he lay there on her bed motionlessly, eyes closed. Careful not to cause him unnecessary pain, she cleaned the wounds on his cheek and the side of his neck, noting with relief that they were only superficial.
Her eyes went to his badly bruised shoulder. Shaking her head, she marveled at his determination to keep his accident from Nathan. His chest heaved with the labored breathing and she hoped silently that he had no internal injuries. Her eyes lingered on his collarbones, and she felt heat spreading across her face as she caught herself clenching her hands to keep from touching him there.
Gradually his breathing became more regular, and she thought that the familiarity she felt with this man meant treading treacherous ground, because her need to be close to him, touch him, even kiss him, seemed more and more natural to her. It felt almost like...like a wife felt for her husband, she finally admitted to herself. The comparison stung, and she quickly clamped down on the feeling it aroused.
When she lifted her head, she met Josiah’s gaze as he regarded her solemnly. "What are you thinking?" he asked, and the huskiness in his voice sent her heart racing. She opened her mouth as if to reply, but no words would come. How could she explain to him what she barely understood herself?
Josiah struggled into a sitting position and took her hand. He didn’t speak and she was grateful for that, but he studied her face so intently as if he meant to look right down to the bottom of her soul.
It occurred to her that the position he was in had to be painful for him, so she straightened and extricated her hand from his clasp to gently push him back down onto the pillow. He complied wordlessly, but then she became aware of her palms against the bare skin of his chest and froze. With a swift motion he captured her hands with his to prevent her from pulling away.
The way his heart raced under her palms brought tears to her eyes. Why couldn’t she simply lie down beside him and nestle close to his warm body? Rarely ever in her life had she missed the touch of a man, but with Josiah she suddenly craved things she had considered meaningless to her. Her marriage had been so short and she had been so young that she hardly had any recollection of things like that. Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought down the longing, the desire, the need for touch, for a sharing of more than mere moments -- the sharing of a life, a home, a...bed.
Elizabeth could do nothing to prevent the blush that suddenly stained her face, and when she felt the pull of his arms, she followed willingly as if she were entranced. Even the way her cheek came to rest against his bare skin appeared to be the most natural thing in the world. Josiah’s voice was a soft rumble beneath her ear as he finally spoke.
"Forgive me," she heard him say. "I thought I could be strong...for both of us, but I’m not. I...the way you make me feel..." His voice trailed away on a sigh of her name as he nuzzled the crown of her head, and she responded by involuntarily running her hand up his ribcage and across his chest until it came to rest on his vulnerable throat. She felt him swallow under her touch and she trembled, pressing a small kiss against the side of his neck. It was unbearable how smooth and soft the hairless spot felt to her lips. Her fingers sought the contrast of the coarser texture of his chest hair. His low moan tore at her heart. Never in her life had she heard a sound like that. It spoke of utmost appreciation, of utmost vulnerability and trust. She tightened her arms around him, startled by his sharp intake of breath as she brushed against some as yet undetected bruise.
"I’m sorry," she gasped, bracing her weight on one arm as she scanned his face for the extent of the pain she had caused him.
"It’s nothing," he rasped and his hand came up to cup the back of her head as he pulled her back to him.
Inches before his face she tensed. "Josiah," she pleaded, but she wasn’t certain any longer if she begged for his reason or for his surrender. In a last moment of clarity she realized that it was his surrender she wanted more than anything else, and as she relaxed into him, welcoming the gentle pressure of his lips against hers, she knew she was lost.
***
Josiah was torn between the sensible, honorable thing to do and the sweetness of Elizabeth’s weight on top of him as she gave herself to his kiss. He skimmed his palm across her back, pulling her into him more tightly as he took in the slim and feminine contours of her body through the thin cotton of her nightgown Their tongues met and the taste of her made him dizzy, heedless of the pain in his ribs and shoulder.
"Marry me," he sobbed, his voice muffled by her lips.
Her reply sent fire through his blood. "I will," she breathed. "Tonight. Here and now."
He groaned deep in his throat as he rolled her onto her back and she received his weight with an eagerness that made him gasp. With fierce determination he told himself to slow down. He mustn’t rush this. She was so precious, so fragile.
"With this kiss I thee wed," he whispered, taking her mouth with utmost tenderness. With trembling fingers he reached for the buttons of her gown. Instantly her hands were there to help him, and when the shirt parted before him at last, he felt tears gather in his eyes. "So beautiful," he murmured. "So..."
She reached out and cupped the back of his head with her palm, pulling him close until his face came to lie against the incredibly tender skin of her breasts. Inhaling deeply, he absorbed as much of her as he possibly could.
"Josiah," she whispered close to his ear. "Let me touch you. Let me..."
He raised his head, staring at her incredulously. How could she want that? He made a futile attempt at seeing himself through her eyes, but all he could see was her tender beauty, mocking his coarse appearance. Suddenly self-conscious, he rolled onto his back. He had to make an effort not to pull up the blanket to cover himself. She rose onto one elbow, her free hand resting lightly on his chest as she looked down at him calmly.
"I love you, Josiah," she said quietly, her hand suddenly on his face as she worshipped his rough features with her touch. "There is nothing I can change about that."
He captured her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing the inside of her wrist as he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that threatened to spill.
"Oh Elizabeth," he exclaimed on a sigh. "What are we to do?"
Encircling his waist with her arms, she laid her head on his chest. "I don’t know," she replied. "I don’t want to know. All I know is that I want to be with you...in every way there is." Before he could respond, she raised her head and locked her gaze to his. "How can that be wrong?"
He thought his heart would die with the anguish he saw in her face. "It’s not a matter of right or wrong, Elizabeth, but a matter of priorities. We may be married in our hearts, we may...even join our bodies, but that doesn’t change the fact that we can’t have a life together...here...within this community. Not with you and me being who we are, what we represent to the people in this town."
"But we do have a life together here," she countered.
He smiled. "That’s right, but it’s a life of stolen moments. You deserve better than that."
"You are everything I want, Josiah, and you are so much more than I deserve," she finally said, and he saw a shadow pass over her face.
Her reply puzzled him and he leaned slightly forward, searching for her eyes. Shaking his head, he said, "What do you mean? How could you not deserve every happiness there is?"
"Because...," she replied, "people became unhappy...through me." He wanted to contradict, but she placed her fingers over his mouth. "My only excuse, if such a thing exists," she continued, "is that I knew so little about life...and love."
Josiah’s heart constricted in apprehension. He braced himself to hear about people she had loved. But how could someone such as she ever have caused anybody hurt?
"I had been wondering time and time again why my husband left and joined the army. We had a peaceful life, a quiet life, but..." She paused, and Josiah sensed the depth of her sorrow so clearly as if it were his own.
"But?" he prompted gently.
Elizabeth sat up straight, absentmindedly closing the buttons of her gown. "He left because I didn’t love him," she confessed at last. "I should never have married him. I did so out of need, the need to have a place to live. That’s unforgivable. And in the end he had to pay for it with his life."
Slowly Josiah got up on his knees, ignoring the pain in his side as he took Elizabeth’s shoulders in a gentle clasp. "Are you so sure he wouldn’t have left if you had loved him the way you think you should have? He was young, too. When you are young, you seek adventures and are easily blinded by their false promises."
Her shoulders shook as she wept quietly. "His father could never forgive me. Phillip was his only son and all the family he had, and I ..."
Josiah knew that at the moment there was nothing he could say to ease her pain, so he just cradled her to his chest, rocking her tenderly.
Suddenly she turned in his arms, her eyes huge as she locked them to his. "I didn’t know what it was to love someone, Josiah. To want someone with every fiber of your being. I know it now, but Phillip never got the chance to love and be loved like that."
I know it now. The words exploded in Josiah’s chest with the force of lightning, and he mentally chastised himself for being shaken by them in the first place when it was her anguish he should be aware of above everything else. "Oh my God," he exclaimed in a muffled voice as he buried his face in her hair. Gradually Elizabeth’s breathing calmed and she wasn’t crying anymore. Josiah’s mind worked feverishly as he sought for a way to regain control over the situation. What they had been about to do was madness. He mustn’t let that happen. She would never forgive herself if they gave in to a moment of weakness.
As if she had heard his unspoken thoughts, Elizabeth pulled back and looked up at him. "I’m sorry," she said. "You came to me because you needed my help, and I threw my own problems at you."
The sudden distance between them cut through his heart like a knife, but he knew that it was better that way.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he replied. "I..."
She placed her fingers over his mouth to silence him. "Promise me you won’t work too hard during the next days," she said. "You need time to heal."
Josiah shook his head. "I’m still working on an explanation for the scratches in my face."
She laughed softly. "I don’t think the truth would hurt anyone, Josiah."
"It would hurt my reputation," he replied with an indignant frown.
She leaned forward and kissed his brow. "Maybe we are too concerned about how others see us," she mused. "Maybe that’s our main problem. And yet...as things are...I don’t think there’s much we can do about it."
Mutely Josiah nodded his head. As long as she looked at things that way, she was safe. There was relief in that knowledge, and the bittersweet pain of realizing that everything else had to remain locked away.
His attempt at avoiding pain made him a little awkward as he rose from the bed. "I...should go now. Thank you, Elizabeth."
"Good night, Josiah," she whispered, and her breath was warm against his cheek as she kissed him gently.
He felt her eyes on him as he walked to the door. Somehow he half-expected her to call out to him, to stop him, but she didn’t, and when the door fell closed behind him, he released a groan of anguish. How should he ever cope with the memories they had created tonight...
Dancing
Lynn Wright
Josiah saw her immediately, his eyes drawn to her as if she stood in a spotlight; but he turned in the other direction and began a slow circuit of the crowded room, greeting friends, making small talk, laughing and joking in the festive atmosphere of the dance.It was only prudent to do as he was doing, but his heart bled that he did not run to her to bask in her nearness.
As he made his circuit he came upon Buck, and was surprised to find him in an uncharacteristic pose of dejection. Clapping him on the shoulder, Josiah exclaimed, “Buck, why aren’t you dancing? You said you weren’t going to miss a single one. What happened? Couldn’t find a girl willing to take a chance on you?”
“Nah,” Buck looked downcast. “I tried, but the teacher is so busy she hasn’t got time for us common folks. Look! She’s been asked by every cowpoke in Texas!”
Josiah turned to face in Elizabeth’s direction, following his inner compass that pointed to her as if she were true north. Buck was right, she was surrounded by a posse of the male persuasion, men laughing and talking and flirting with her.
That was Elizabeth, his Elizabeth, surrounded by a crowd of men, men who wanted her. Josiah’s usual quiet good nature was transformed in an instant. Red rage suffused his eyes. Buck was left behind without a word; he headed for the group around Elizabeth with violence in his heart.
Hewas halfway across the room before sanity returned. As he realized how ridiculously he was behaving, he shook his head, clearing it of its insane rage. Querying himself, ‘My God, what were you going to do? Kill them all?’, he slowed his determined strides to a casual stroll. He continued in Elizabeth’s direction slowly, disciplining his steps and his thoughts. ‘What do you think you’re doing? Do you have anything to say about what she does? Do you have any control over any part of her life? Do you have anything at all to connect you with her except this crazy, unbelievable, delirious love for her?
‘If you love her, then you are glad to see her having a good time, laughing and dancing and being young and beautiful, as she should be.’ And he was glad for her, now that sanity had reestablished itself in his mind and heart.
As he neared the group of three or four men around her, she looked up and saw him. His breath stopped completely as her face became transformed with joy at the sight of him. ‘How can I keep my head when you look at me like that? And how can we keep our secret? You’re telling the world!’ he exclaimed silently. His heart pounded and his breath quickened in response to her openly loving look as he closed the distance between them.
“Here he is now, come to claim his dance. I told you I had promised this one!” Elizabeth smiled and nodded, leaving the group of men behind to come into Josiah’s arms ,just as the music started.
As they began to dance to the strains of a slow waltz, he whispered into her ear, “I love you---beyond bearing, beyond sense or reason. I want you in my arms like this forever.” He smiled down at her. “I nearly died of jealousy watching you with those men, but you made it up in one sweet moment by coming into my arms as you did. Elizabeth, what am I going to do? I want to tell the world that you’re mine---mine!”
“I am yours,” she answered softly. “All yours. I will be yours in any way you want me to. You know that. Just say the words---ask me to come to you---ask me, please!”
His heart nearly burst with love and desire as she asked him to do what he wanted to do more than life itself .“Oh God, Elizabeth, I’m not strong enough to withstand it if you plead with me. I want you so much---so much. You’ve got to help me to keep you safe. And Elizabeth, you’ve got to quit looking at me like you did when you first saw me. The whole world can tell how you feel when you look at me like that, and it makes me crazy with love for you, crazy enough to do something I know I mustn’t.”
He looked around them at the crowded dance floor, apprehensive that their conversation was being overheard, but he encountered no interested expressions on the surrounding faces. Everyone was absorbed in his or her own partner.
Elizabeth was not worried about the couples around them. She continued to push him. “How did I look? Tell me; I’ll do it again if it will make you do what we both want. How can I convince you that I know what I’m doing?”
“Of course you know what you’re doing. You’re making it as hard for me to deny you as you can. Please don’t do this to me, not here, in public. I want so much to do what you’re asking. I’m dying of love for you right here in the middle of the dance floor!”
The music came to an end just as they reached the big barn doors that were opened out into the cool night air. They looked at each other, and then at the night outside. Swiftly Josiah stepped across the threshold still holding her in his arms, and they melted into the shadows. As they reached the shelter of a huge cottonwood whose branches drooped low over them, he turned her to face him, took her into his arms, and covered her mouth with his, all in a single smooth motion.
The kiss was not gentle. He took her mouth with all of the desire that boiled within him, not roughly but with the determined assertion of his manhood. She melted under his mouth in response to his masculine dominance; her head tipped back against his arm, her limbs weakened until he was holding her slight weight up. The woman in her responded to him with fervent desire, and she moaned through the kiss, and molded herself closer to his hard body.
When he raised his head at last, they were both dazed with emotion. She came slowly back to reality, opening her eyes and smiling mistily at him, reaching up to his face to cover it with kisses, her arms around him, her hands exploring his muscular back. Her body was molded to his until he could feel every curve, her breasts pressing his chest, his swelling manhood cradled against her.
“Oh, Josiah, I want---I don’t know exactly what, I never felt anything like this in the past. I want you to be closer, closer to me. Please, show me what it is that I want so much. “
“Elizabeth, for God’s sake, you will drive me past the edge of sanity! When you talk like that, how can I refuse you anything? I want so much to make love to you, but I’ve got to be strong for both of us!” He dropped his arms from around her, and moved back.
“We’ve got to hang on to some sense here. My darling, I dare not take you to bed. If I do, the fences will be down, we will never be able to stop. We’ll be together whenever and wherever we can, and discovery---or worse---will inevitably result.”
“Worse?”
Josiah shook his head.“ Not worse, not if we were married. If we were married, it would be the most wonderful---Elizabeth, a child could result from our union.”
“A child! Oh, Josiah, why have I never thought about that happening with you? Your child! I want that! I want your child! Josiah, we have got to get married!”
He looked down at her bemused, and then he threw his head back and laughed. “Oh my love, what will you say next? Elizabeth, you have an amazing tendency to forthright speech!” He sobered, and continued, “Nothing could be more wonderful than being married to you, and to have a child with you would be the fulfillment of all my dreams. But there are some large obstacles in the way of that goal. We need to talk about these things, but not here, not standing under a tree in the middle of the night. And I’m sure that we have been missed by now, and tongues are wagging merrily. Let’s go back inside, my love, and we’ll talk tomorrow.”
Talking
Lynn Wright
Josiah had the Saturday afternoon blues. He sat glumly on the back steps of the schoolhouse, wondering how he could have been such a fool as to take Elizabeth away from the dance floor and out into the night in the full sight of half the town. Now not just half the town, but the entire population was speculating on what really happened out there under the cottonwood tree.
He thought that he had covered their tracks pretty well. Giving her a quick warning as to what he was about to do, he had put his arm around her in a caretaking pose as they reentered the barn, and looked around for the nearest middle aged female. There was no lack of those about; he lowered Elizabeth carefully into a chair and motioned to the nearest one. “She fainted out there. She said she was too warm, so I took her outside to cool off, but she just passed right out! Scared me half to death! Do you think you could take care of her?”
A covey of females quickly gathered around one of their own, and he was able to back unobtrusively out of the whole situation. He walked quickly to the other side of the room, congratulating himself on a smooth withdrawal. But small town eyes had been watching, not least of them Buck’s.
“How did you get to dance with her? I suppose it was because you’re the preacher man, and she thought she had to be polite. That had to be it, when she turned me and half the other men in the place down! Say, what’s the matter with her, anyway? She was all right before you danced with her!”
“She just felt a little bit faint. She’ll be all right---she has to be, she’s got half the women in town helping her.” Josiah threw the last words over his shoulder, as he headed for the door. He was all through with the dance, all he wanted now was to be alone so he could go over those few minutes under the cottonwood tree in his mind.
As he walked the short distance back to his room, he heard again her breath catch as his arms went around her, felt again her body pressed tight against his. But above all he heard her words, “Please, show me what it is that I want so much.” How those words had thrilled him, and how he wanted to show her! His body ached with longing to show her what she had missed in that unhappy early marriage; it would be long before he slept.
Now, on the schoolhouse steps, he remembered again with mixed joy and pain the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her mouth. If he could be so lucky as to be her lover some day, if somehow they could surmount the obstacles that loomed large in their path, he swore silently that he would be the most tender, considerate and patient lover that ever was. Then the thought of her ardent reaction to his lovemaking of last night made him wonder if much patience would be needed; she had taken to loving with a vengeance.
As he thought this rather impertinent thought, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He started out of his reverie and glanced up. She was there; he saw that same incandescent look that had stirred him so at the dance; her face was transformed with joy at the sight of him.
“Josiah, you’re a great storyteller!” She smiled down at him. “How smart you were to make up that story on the spur of the moment! I think you fooled everyone.”
“I think you mean a great liar.” He smiled back ruefully. “I’m not proud of what I did, but I’d do much more than that to keep you from harm. I’ve just been sitting here kicking myself for getting you into that situation in the first place. I’m very sorry, Elizabeth. I should have had better sense.”
“We both should not be doing a great deal of what we have been doing, but we both also know that it’s not going to stop. It can’t, not with the way we feel about each other.” Her eyes traveled over his face, lingered on his mouth. “I love you so much, Josiah. I want to kiss you right now, right here.”
“Don’t say that! Right away my mind starts to figure ways that I can get you alone, in private somewhere, anywhere that I can hold you in my arms again. If you encourage this, we’ll end up doing something else that will convince the town that we’re guilty. They already have dark suspicions. I don’t believe that my lie was totally accepted.”
She frowned impatiently. “Why do we have to lie at all? Neither of us is married, we shouldn’t have anything to hide.”
“Elizabeth, do you want to teach school in this town? You know what the consequences will be if they find out about us. The Mrs. Grundys will throw you out of your job. I don’t really see why they should, but you can bet on it. They won’t think whether it makes sense that you must stay single. They’ll only know that we have gone against convention, and that’s a fatal error here, in this time and place.”
“Blast convention!” She sat down beside him, closer than she should have in this public place.
He moved quickly to put distance between them. “Elizabeth, you’re incorrigible! You must not do these things. And ‘blast’ is not a word used by young ladies in polite conversation.” In contrast to his severe words, he was smiling tenderly at her.
She used the cover of her full skirt to take his hand in hers. “I won’t be tied to some fool’s idea of what is proper for a young lady! And I’m not so young, anyway. I’m a grown woman with good sense and a good head, and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions and taking care of my own welfare.”
“I believe that to be true,” he agreed, “But now that I think about it, I wonder why you’re not using that good head to make more sensible decisions. You have to admit that you have been incredibly impetuous in the last few days. Elizabeth, are you using me as a safety net to get you out of the dangerous situations you’ve been putting yourself in? For instance, this one.” And he picked up their joined hands and gently disengaged his.
“I appreciate your faith that I can save you no matter what, but I’m afraid that faith may be misplaced. I’m only human, and I want you very much.” His smile disappeared and his eyes caught and held hers. “One of these times I’m not going to be able to say no.” His voice deepened. “If you come to my room in the middle of the night one more time, I will not be responsible for what happens. Hear this, Elizabeth. You cannot count on my strength to save you any more. You have to help.” He dropped his gaze from her eyes to her mouth, and then lower, to move over her body. His desire and his pain at denying it were evident in his look.
She took a deep breath. “You’re right. I have been doing what you said. I’ve been indulging myself by letting you take the responsibility. And Josiah, it’s hurting you. Oh my very dearest, I’m so sorry! I won’t do it any more. Forgive me!” Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over.
“God!Don’t cry! I’ll do anything you want, only don’t cry! If you do I have to hold you. I can’t stand it!” She smiled up at him, tears gone, and he relaxed. “That’s better, that’s my beautiful brave love. Elizabeth, I love you so much, I want you to be happy so much. We’ll figure a way through this; we were meant to be together. I don’t know how I could have been chosen from the whole world to belong to you, who could have had the very best, but that’s the way it is. You are mine; I am yours. We will be together. We will!”
Laughter
Lynn Wright
Paying no heed to the late afternoon sun beating down on his back, Nathan strode purposefully along the dusty street in search of Josiah. He was very likely in the church, he seemed to be spending a good deal of his time there lately. In fact, now that Nathan thought about it, the saloon had seen almost nothing of Josiah for a couple of weeks. No poker, no jawing with his friends; the church seemed to have swallowed him up, and that was not like Josiah.
As he stepped up onto the church porch, light began to break over that little mystery. Coming from inside he heard laughter, Josiah’s laughter and someone else’s mingling. And the someone else was female. ‘Well, well,’ he thought, ‘the schoolmarm has broached the old man’s defenses. Good for her!’
This situation was worth investigating. He opened the door quickly, hoping to get a glimpse of them before they became aware of him, but he needn’t have bothered. They were completely unaware that he was even on the same earth with them. They were both helpless with laughter; Josiah bent over the desk, his head hanging down, and Elizabeth curled in a chair, holding on to her stomach.
“Let me in on the joke!” They both jumped guiltily at the sound of his voice.
“Oh, Nathan, hello!” Elizabeth recovered first, sitting up straight, her laughter subsiding. Josiah was slower to straighten, still chuckling as he wiped his eyes. “Sorry, Nathan, can’t explain it. You had to be there.” He turned to look at Elizabeth, his eyes dancing with renewed laughter. “Oh, don’t!” she wailed, turning quickly away from his gaze. “I hurt already!”
Nathan looked from one of them to the other, speculation in his eyes. “Well, I’m happy you’re having such a good time. I just stopped to see if you’d be interested in riding out to the Bar 7 ranch with me. I’ve got to check on old man Rogers’ broken leg.”
“Nope.Got too much to do here to be gallivantin' around the county.”
“Yeah,” Nathan said, with dawning comprehension of the situation. “I can see that you’ve got no time to gallivant. Well, all right, I’ll probably be gone all night, see you tomorrow.”
Josiah knew Nathan had seen enough to guess what was going on. He answered “Via con Dios, friend.” There was a slight emphasis on ‘friend’.
“Adios. And I am your friend.” Nathan grinned, and turned his thumb up in silent congratulation. Request for silence and assurance of it had passed between them in the few words spoken.
“Well, we don’t have to worry about keeping our secret from him!” Josiah said resignedly, when the door had closed behind Nathan,“ He saw what was between us in the first ten seconds. But he won’t talk about it. He has more secrets than anyone else in this town.”
“You are very good friends, aren’t you? Then I’m glad he knows. You should have someone to talk about this with.” Elizabeth smiled up at him sunnily. “Maybe he’ll have some good ideas about what we can do to solve our problem.”
“When I look at you, and you’re this close to me, there are no problems.” Josiah looked down at her with sudden intensity. “There is only you, your hair, your lips, your skin---“His voice thickened. “I want you so much, Elizabeth. I dream about you. I dream that I’m holding you as I did that night, the night we almost---Oh, Lord, I want you!”
“I’m here. Right here. Take me.”
“Don’t, don’t! I can’t stand it. It’s torture to be so near you and to have you be so willing! Come over here, out of view of the windows. I’ve got to kiss you right now.” She went into his arms eagerly, and when their lips met she moaned and pressed herself against his hard body. Her arms went around him, her hands moving over his body, sliding over his back, and down farther, past his belt, to caress him everywhere she could reach.
Josiah was continually stunned at her response to his lovemaking. With every kiss, every embrace, she grew more actively responsive, more versed in his body’s desires, more able to drive him to the edge of surrender to his longing. He wasn’t able to keep himself from thinking about how she would be, how her body would feel under him. But that way lay madness, he must not think about it if he wanted to keep her safe.
He lifted his mouth from hers to groan, “We’ve got to stop. Now! Please, Elizabeth, I can’t do this. I’m hurting, love, please help me to stop.”
She responded instantly to that appeal.“Hurting? What hurts?” She stepped back from his embrace.
“I ache, physically ache, when I want you so much.”
“I didn’t know that! I’m so sorry !Is there anything I can do to help? Let me—“and she reached for his body.
“No!Don’t do that! That’s what made me hurt in the first place!” He began to chuckle.
“If you touch me again I’ll hurt worse. And if you don’t touch me, I’ll hurt worse.” He shook his head, laughing helplessly.
“This is not funny! I don’t ever want to cause you any pain. What can I do to avoid it?”
“Move to Chicago.” He began to laugh harder.
“Josiah!This is serious! Don’t laugh, now.” But her eyes began to dance.
---------
As Nathan rode by the church on his way out of town, he heard again the faint sounds of laughter coming through its closed door. He shook his head, smiled, and rode on.