(This story is written strictly for the free enjoyment of fans of the "Beauty and the Beast" television series. No copyright infringement is intended.)

Fear and Love

by Angie

Death, in itself, is nothing; but we fear,
To be we know not what, we know not where.

-John Dryden

Vincent stood pressed against the opening of the culvert, his head bowed, his legs apart, and his hands gripping the side of the entrance. His body shuddered in rhythmic waves. He couldn’t make himself move away from the solid concrete behind him.

What was wrong with him? He had been wandering the world above at night for years. Why was he now afraid? It wasn’t a fear of open spaces that was paralyzing him, but a fear of danger! Why that, now? He had never worried unduly in the past, even after the two unfortunate events that had seen him captured – and fortunately, saved.

With a deep sigh of disgust, he turned into the culvert and nearly ran down the pipe, opened the metal gate, slid through before it was fully opened, then waited breathless for it to close behind him.

With a gasp, he slid down the wall and sat on the sandy floor, resting his head against his knees, tears rolling down his face. What was happening to him? Was he becoming ill again? The thought made him shudder. It couldn’t be!

Enough, he decided. He had to talk to Father.

He found the patriarch in the library, poring over an enormous volume with such tiny writing that he had to have his nose almost touching it.

"Father."

Jacob looked up and immediately rose to his feet, sensing a crisis in his son. Vincent pulled up a chair and sat next to him, looking at his hands.

"What is it, Vincent?" the older man asked, gratefully sitting down again.

"Father, I can’t go Above anymore. My fear is overpowering. What has happened to me?"

Jacob took one of Vincent’s hands and held it in his own, something he often did when he was about to say something momentous. Vincent waited. The answer, when it came, was not what he had expected.

"Vincent, a few weeks ago, you asked me if you were a man. I answered you the same way I had answered Catherine, two years ago, when she freed me from the murder charge. I told both of you that part of you is a man, implying that the rest was something … else, something less."

"Father …"

Jacob stopped him with a gesture.

"We may never know how you came to be what you are, Vincent. But, you are human. Humanity is not related to appearance – it resides inside us. It is measured by how we think, how we feel, how we react to our world and each other. Your physical differences do not make you less human, but more - because you have learned to overcome them. Everyone in this community knows you are human – as does Catherine. Therefore, you are also a man – perhaps more than a man. You are stronger and more compassionate, precisely because of those differences – because you are human.

"Paracelsus was mad – inhuman – when he tried to force you to deny your humanity and turn you into the beast he wanted you to be. You couldn’t do it because you are not a beast, Vincent. The mental anguish made you ill, drove you to the brink of insanity. We almost lost you – would have, if Catherine’s love had not brought you back. That love, which you responded to, is the most definite proof of your humanity.

"What you are feeling now – this fear of going Above – is a direct result of that affirmation of your humanity. It’s a natural feeling. You now know how much you almost lost - and how many blessings you have. Your brain is telling you not to put something so precious in danger."

Vincent grunted.

"But Father, I want to visit Catherine. She has been coming below often, but she needs me, we need each other, in her world too. Her balcony is our window into her world – and now I can’t be there."

"This will pass, once you and she have reconciled completely. She would do anything for you, Vincent, as you would for her. But … despite your closeness, I’m guessing there is something missing. Am I right?"

Vincent hung his head. Of course Father was right. Catherine had brought him back to reason in that dark cavern below, and they had held each other, then made short, careful love. Their bond had opened, and all the tension they had suffered had been released in fierce joy. But since then, although they had often held each other through the long nights as he recovered, they had not again been intimate. He had never told Father what had happened in that cavern. He hardly believed it himself, although the memory was one of his most precious.

"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Father. I love Catherine, I want to go to the next step, and I know she does too, but I seem to be …. impotent." The last word was whispered so quietly, Father almost didn’t hear it.

Jacob nodded, thinking to himself that it was ironic that his special son should suffer this, just as he had come to terms with himself and regarded himself as a man.

"You endured considerable mental trauma, Vincent. You haven’t yet reconciled yourself to your new mental state, that’s all. You have to think it through. That’s why I told you that you are human – and there is no question of that. What you are experiencing is not uncommon. If you can make yourself believe that, all will be well. Give yourself time."

Vincent nodded and rose, gave Father a soft good-night kiss, and walked slowly to his chamber.

Catherine! She was waiting. He quickened his steps and walked through his chamber door, caught her as she threw herself into his arms. They said nothing for long moments. He felt his groin begin to stir, and felt a twinge of hope.

Catherine moved away a little, so she could look up at him. She could sense he was unhappy.

"What’s wrong, Vincent?"

"I tried to come to you again. I cannot."

"That doesn’t matter now. I’m here, and I’ll always come to you."

"But our nights on your balcony. I thought you enjoyed them!"

"I did, Vincent. They were wonderful, magical. But every time you left me, I was afraid for you. My world is so dangerous, unforgiving. I don’t want to lose you."

Vincent felt something nag him at this revelation, but couldn’t grasp it. He pursued the discussion further, hoping for enlightenment.

"But Catherine, I have been roaming your world at night for a long time. There is no danger I am not aware of. I am very careful. I will never let myself be caught again."

"I know that, but I can’t help being worried. I love you."

Vincent sighed.

"And I love you. I want to give you more … but, something is wrong."

Catherine stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. She spoke softly.

"I know. But don’t worry. That too will pass. I can wait. In fact, it will be easier soon. We’ll be together more. I want to move Below."

She held up her hand to silence him, much as Father had done minutes before.

"There will be no arguments this time, Vincent. I can make decisions for myself. It’s Friday, and I’ve decided to stay below this weekend. I brought some clothes down. We’ll have time to discuss all this, but I’m determined."

Vincent sensed resolve in her, but there was something else he detected, something he had not bothered to analyze before. He suddenly had an inkling.

"It’s late, Catherine. Will you stay with me here tonight, or would you prefer the guest chamber?"

Catherine smiled. "What do you think, Vincent? I want to be close to you. You know that."

"Yes."

They quickly shed their clothes and Vincent slipped on the long white shirt he wore in bed. He didn’t bother with bottoms. With Catherine next to him, he was always warm. Now, he hoped for something more – and clothes would only be a deterrent.

He got into his big bed and moved over to give Catherine room. She was wearing only a short silk nightie, which shimmered in the light from the single candle above his bed. He found himself holding his breath. She spooned herself next to him and he wrapped his arms around her, loving the feel of her bottom against his thighs. Once again, his groin stirred. He felt her joy at the contact and decided he must do a little careful … research.

He opened his side of the bond completely and let his love for her slide along it, felt her response. With that as a distraction, he examined her emotions closely, something he had never done before. And he found what he had expected.

Fear! It was not just any fear, though, but a deep and almost overpowering fear. He guessed it was for himself because there was nothing to indicate that Catherine was in danger from anything. Wonderingly, he realized that Father, of all people, had been on the right track. If Catherine wasn’t able to control that fear, even in her subconscious state, it would catapult down their bond and he would be unable to think clearly. That must have happened during those times he had tried to go to her. She had known he was trying to reach her and her fear had taken over. He had, in fact, been unable to even discern that the fear was not his own – but hers.

They had not explored the recent awakening of their bond. Both of them, he guessed, were a little afraid of it. He realized he should have talked to her about it sooner. She was not used to feeling him and had tried to dampen her own emotions to shield him while he healed. She didn’t realize that their bond wasn’t just a single conduit for one emotion, but more like a braid, a complex winding of feelings. In the past, he had often been unable to separate Catherine’s roil of emotions, but he realized that too had changed now. Had their recent intimacy made his sense of her more acute as well?

She wasn’t yet asleep, so Vincent broached the topic.

"Catherine, what are you afraid of?"

Catherine stirred. Vincent, she knew, was capable of seeing deep into her emotional state. She guessed he had now discovered her secret and felt a sense of relief. It had been difficult to keep this from him, but she had feared making him ill again. Now, belatedly, she realized his current problems might be her fault. She was holding him back, emotionally. She turned to him, stroked the side of his face and spoke softly.

"I almost lost you in that dark cavern. You were unconscious, dying. I could feel you retreating from me, as if you had given up on life. I couldn’t let you do that, but I didn’t know what to do about it. In desperation, I kissed you and felt you quiver. I knew then that you could be reached - that on some level, you knew I was there, wanted me with you.

"Then I did the only other thing I could think of. I touched you where no woman had ever touched you. I read somewhere that a man’s sexual organs respond without thought – and yours did. Eventually, you stirred and awakened and we loved.

"How can I explain what I felt after that? I loved you more than ever, but I became so very afraid. I feared that, in your fragile state, you might slip away from me again if I didn’t keep my emotions under better control. I realized I could now feel you along our bond, but I wanted you to heal, become whole, without any emotional distractions from me.

"But my fears wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried to bury them, to concentrate on my love for you and project calm along our bond. But instead of disappearing, the way they should have, they got stronger and stronger. I think they must have been leaking out when I wasn’t aware of it, and infecting you."

Vincent looked at this woman to whom he owed his life, and lifted her hand to kiss it.

"Catherine, I am yours. I thought I had lost you when I lost myself – because how could you love what I had become? I was mad with despair, grief and anger. You came to me and the shock I felt, seeing you there … was almost too much to bear.

"But now, you must leave your fears behind, for us both to be happy. We cannot be separated by distance, but we cannot move forward, yet. We must share all that we are, all that we fear."

"Yes. I understand, Vincent. I’ve been a fool."

"No, never that, my love. How could you know that I would feel the fear you were trying to hide?"

"So what should I do??

"Open yourself to me, to us, Catherine. I will do the same. We must know each other, trust each other."

Catherine closed her eyes and gradually, Vincent felt her barrier fall. His side of the bond was still open, so she knew he was feeling her release. They said nothing for long minutes as her fear drained away – to be replaced by something else.

Vincent’s groin began to pulse in response and he knew she felt his desire awakening. She gave free rein to her own and they basked for a time in the knowledge that, this time, there were no barriers. Slowly, they began to stroke one another and as the tempo increased and their arousal grew, Vincent hugged her closer, rubbed her along his groin, felt her heat envelop him.

They both shed their night clothes and then made luxurious, sensual love in the candlelight. Their joint release made them sigh in unison and they held each other tightly as wave after wave of joy roiled along their bond.

Sated and relaxed as never before, Vincent rolled onto his back, bringing Catherine with him. She lay along his length, loving the feel of the soft fur covering his lean but well-muscled torso and legs. She couldn’t resist running her hands along his sides.

Gradually, she noticed something else, something she had not noticed that furtive first time. A slight vibration was running along his skin and growing in tempo. With a thrill of delight, which she knew he could feel, she put a name to it. She raised her head to look in his eyes and saw the confirmation there.

"Vincent, you’re …"

Vincent lay a long-haired, sharp-nailed finger gently on her lips, silencing her.

"Don’t say it, Catherine. I know. I had forgotten. The last time was so long ago … I was a child. You have rejuvenated me."

"No, Vincent! Our love has made us both whole."

"Yes. What are you afraid of now?" Vincent could sense the whisper of something.

"Only that you might not be able to do a repeat performance."

Vincent chuckled, and soon proved that fear groundless too.

END