Remember Love

by Ana Luiza Brown

Jacob woke in the middle of the night. He was breathless and hisheart was beating so fast that he felt like it was going to jump outof his throat. No, it hadn't been a nightmare. More than that, it wasa terrible fear that had been waking him up every night since he hadseen a painting of his mom that his father had been keeping hiddenaway for many, many years. For the first time in his life he had seenwhat his mother looked like. And she was beautiful. More than that,she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Since thatafternoon of adventures, when he and little Cathy had found thepainting of his dad holding his mom, he had been having this terriblesensation. It woke him up every night about the same time. He couldfeel that she was scared. Somehow the memory of a mother he had neverknown created a connection through which he could feel what she wasfeeling. And she was in danger; Jacob was sure of that.

He had to talk to his father. The man hadn't known anything aboutthe terrible things Jacob had been going through. The reason whyJacob hadn't told anyone the feelings he'd been having for over amonth was that he knew no one was ever going to believe him.Catherine Chandler was known to be dead and this connection, everyonewould say, was nothing but his own way to deal with the absence ofhis mother. But to hell with them! He had to tell it to his fatherand he had to do it now! His mom was in trouble and he and his dadwere the only people who could help her.

He walked through the dark corridors to his dad's chamber, beingcareful not to wake up anyone. It wasn't a long walk from his bedroomto his father's, but he was a bit afraid of dark places. A terribledoom for anyone who lived in the underworld. And this only made thefear he had been inside of him and that he knew was his mom's getworse.

"Dad, I have to talk to you."

Vincent heard his son's voice and slowly turned to face Jacob.

"Did I wake you, Dad?"

"No. I couldn't sleep. It has been one of those nights...But whyare you awake? Did you have another nightmare?" asked Vincent, whileslowly sitting on the bed.

" Well.... I don't know... It seems to be more than that,"answered Jacob, while biting his thumbnail. He didn't know what hisfather would think about it...But what the hell! It was a risk he hadto run. If his dad didn't believe him, he would go save his mom byhimself!

"Sit here, my son," said Vincent, indicating a place for the kidto sit down beside him on the bed. "Is there anything botheringyou?"

The child took the indicated place just beside his father. Jacobcould feel his dad's strong hand on his shoulder. It comforted himand made him feel like he was the strongest man alive. His fathertrusted him, he could feel it now, and it filled him with the courageto say what he had to say.

"Dad," said Jacob while looking at the floor in order to avoid hisfather's eyes, "Would you believe me if I told you that I can feel mymother the same way you used to when you were still together? SomehowI feel that she's alive and that she's in trouble. I began feelingher when I saw that painting of you two together. She needs me, dad,I know it..." Then he turned his gaze to Vincent and said, "She needsyou and me."

The boy's words shocked Vincent. What was this? The kid was notlying. He knew his son and was sure that the kid would never say sucha thing without actually meaning it. Vincent was alarmed. Jacob wasprobably going through a lot of suffering. He had always known thatJacob blamed himself for Catherine's death and he had never managedto make his son get over this guilt. And now this. What to donow?

Vincent held his son's face between his hands and said, lookingstraight into the kid's eyes, "Jacob, your mother is dead and nothingwill ever bring her back. You have no reason to blame yourself forit. A bad man took her away from us. It's horrible, it's sad and Istill feel the pain of her loss. You are everything I have, do youunderstand? You are my life, and I want you to ignore these thingsyou've been feeling. They are nothing but a lie. You have no reasonto blame yourself for her death. Do you understand?"

Jacob was disappointed. For a moment he had expected his father tobelieve in him. He looked down, avoiding his father's eyes, and saidthat he would do it.

Vincent held his son tightly. He believed that the kid was tellinghim the truth. But Jacob knew that sometimes lying is necessary, butonly if it is for a very good reason.

****

She was afraid to sleep again. She knew those dreams would comeback. But they were more than just nightmares. They were too real tobe bad dreams. They had to be memories from her past life. They hadto be.

She couldn't remember anything before Richard found her running onthe streets. He had taken her home, sheltered her, took care of her.Only he'd never been able to bring any of her memories back. He triedto do it, until one day he decided it was better to leave things theway they were. He said that her amnesia was perhaps the only thingthat was keeping her alive.

"Cannot sleep again, Helen?"

"No, Richard," she said while looking through the window of thelarge living room they were in, "It's just the same dream again. It'sa memory, isn't it?"

Richard, looking tired, sat at the marble table. He thought thatit could be it. He passed his hand through his thin gray hair andanswered that perhaps it was.

"No, Richard, you know as well as I do that it's true. Ithappened. These horrible things actually happened to me. I want toknow who I was. I want to know my real name, no matter if it bringsdanger upon my own life. "

"Helen, all the evidence surrounding the unusual fact that you'rea person who doesn't have any memory of your distant past indicatesthat something horrible has been done to you. What I mean is..." hepaused, "I am sure somebody has messed with your mind and made youforget everything."

"Brainwashing? Are you trying to tell me that I have beenbrainwashed?" she said quite aggressively, turning her eyes to him.

"Yes, yes, something like that...My point is: who's done this toyou? You seemed to be running away from something the night I foundyou. Somebody was after you, you told me. You just didn't know who.The problem is the person who's done this to you must be verydangerous; normal people don't do these things."

"I don't understand."

"Helen, what I am trying to say is that this person may still beafter you and that your amnesia must be exactly what is preventinghim from finding you. God knows what secrets you used to know and thedangers they may bring to you when you remember them."

"I don't understand you, Richard...You wanted to help me, didn'tyou?"

"Yes, but..."

"But what, Richard?"

"I don't want to lose you, Helen"

She reached out for his hand and sat beside him at the table.Richard was a kind of father for her, and he loved her like adaughter; the age difference between theme made them feel like that.Although she couldn't tell how old she was for sure, she seemed to beabout forty and Richard was a sixty-five year old man.

"You'll never lose me, Richard. You are my whole family and youknow it. I just want my life back. I have been delaying this momentfor too long, but I think it's time to find out who I really am. I'mbeginning to remember. What I've seen from my past wasn't any good,but I'm not afraid of it. Please, Richard, help me."

"All right, my dear, all right. I know a good person who can helpus. She's very good at what she does and she's discreet. But are youreally sure of it? The things you've seen from your past life werereally horrible. I really don't think you had a nice a life before.Aren't you happy now?"

"Richard, I am now incomplete and I can never be happy this way. Ihave to find what I'm missing. I'm not afraid of bringing any dangerupon my life anymore. For the first time in almost ten years, I feelas if I am able to face anything. "

****

Emily was a young private detective who had once been a policeofficer. She had been in the force for 5 years and had won manymedals and had solved many difficult cases working at the SpecialCrimes Division with NYPD's Sherlock Holmes, Diana Bennett. Thereason Emily left the force was that Bennett had proposed forpromotion a dirty cop instead of her. Bennett knew this and onlyproposed it to please the mayor, who was a personal friend of thedishonest officer's family. The incident hurt Emily's feeling sodeeply that she decided that leaving the police was the best thing todo.

She had been working as a private detective since she'd left theforce. She was very good at what she did, but people never seemed totake a 26 year old girl with a teen face too seriously. That was thevery reason she didn't have many clients.

She would usually open her office every day at 10:00 a.m., but shewas going to open it a bit later on that Tuesday morning. She hadbeen working until 4:00 a.m. taking pictures of a woman who had beencheating on her husband. It was boring work, but someone had to do itand the money was good.

Emily arrived at her office in Queens at about 11:00 and reachedout for the mail left for her under the door. Nothing interesting,just some more bills to be paid.

She sat at her office's table and hid her face in her hands. Somany bills to be paid and so little money...

"Excuse me, are you Miss Barret?"asked the old man at the door.

She raised her head and looked at the well-dressed man. He was oldand seemed to be rich. Probably just another guy who wanted his muchyounger wife to be followed.

"Yes, that's me. Please, sit down. I'm sorry about the mess. Youare Mr...?"

"My name is Richard Adam Franklin," said the man, while sitting onthe chair in front of her desk, "We have a friend in common, AntonFreeman."

"Oh, yes, I remember him." Anton Freeman was a judge who paidEmily to keep his son under surveillance. He wanted to find out ifboy was a heroin addict. Emily found out the truth and advised theman to keep the kid away from the city. He didn't do it and the pressfound out the whole thing. The papers ruined Freeman's career, butEmily had advised him well and the man was thankful to her sincethen.

"He's told me you're discreet and that you can solve almost anycase."

"I've worked at the Special Crimes Division at NYPD and I'vesolved all the cases I've investigated. I have worked on all sorts ofcases: missing persons, murder, kidnapping. Everything that wascreepy and that everyone else wanted distance from. I felt like DanaScully from the X-Files."

"Dana who?"

"It's a character on a TV show. But which is the case that youwant me to solve?"

The old man didn't say a thing at first. He didn't know how totell the whole story. Weird things happen every day, but peopletended to be too skeptical about them. Besides, most people wouldconsider Helen's story too absurd to be true. He took a long breathand began telling the tale.

"Well, Miss Barret, before I say anything I must advise you to bediscreet and not to make any comments on this case to anyone."

"That is not a problem. We private detectives are like lawyers, wehave to keep as a secret everything which is told us by ourclients."

"It's very good to know. It is also very good to know that you'reused to dealing with the strangest cases. The one I must ask you tosolve is really complicated and involves a person who I love verymuch and who's been like a daughter to me for the past tenyears."

"Well, I'm all ears. Does this woman know you're here?"

"Yes, she's asked me to come."

"Why didn't she come herself?"

"She never comes to Manhattan. A traumatic memory, I presume.Perhaps it's something she's still afraid to remember."

"What is her problem, Mr. Franklin?"

"I found her eight years ago, in the year 1990. She was running onthe streets near the road to New Jersey. You know there's a hospitalby there, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. A psychiatric hospital."

"She was running away from that hospital. Only she was so ill andso hurt that I was afraid to return her to the hospital. She seemedto have suffered some sort of violence in there."

"Whatsort of violence?" asked Emily curiously

"There was a wound on her head. Not so deep, but it seemed to havebeen inflicted by some sort of blade. There were also bruises allover her body. I took her to my house in Long Island. I'm apsychiatrist and that is the place I usually assist my patients. Myoffice is there."

"Any other evidence of violence?"

"There were bruises on her wrists which seemed to have been causedby handcuffs. Anyway, I took her home and examined her. I wasthinking seriously about making a formal complaint against thehospital when I found some evidence that..."

"What, sir?"

"Well, somebody had messed with her mind. Someone had erased allher memories of before that night. She doesn't remember anything thathappened before I found her. Not even her name."

"WHAT? "

"I know it seems too weird to be true. I'm a psychiatrist and Iknow what I'm saying. She's a completely sane person, only she hassome fears that are very difficult to explain, and she also has somenightmares that seem to be hidden memories."

"Wait a minute, Mr. Franklin. I'm really sorry, but I can't pickup your case," said Emily quite rudely.

"But, why?"

"I don't believe you, Mr. Franklin. It all sounds too much likeThe Twilight Zone to me. I think you're making fun of me and I'd bereally thankful if you just left my office."

"Please, Miss Barret..."

Emily stood up and pointed at the door. "I'm really sorry, but Ihave bills to be paid and many cases to solve. I'm pretty busy and Ihave no time for jokes. Please, leave my office."

The old man looked at Emily, outraged. After he left, Emily justsat down and took a long look at all the bills. "Oh, God, what do youhave in mind for me?"

****

Just another boring Monday. That was the thing Emily thought thevery moment she stepped into her office. She had just opened the doorwhen she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, Miss Barret..."

She turned and saw the same old man who had told her the absurdstory a week before. Beside him was a beautiful woman who seemed tobe about 39 or 40 years old. The mystery woman of the fantastic tale,perhaps.

"I'm really sorry, but I'm not in the mood for listening tofantastic stories today. I used to love these things when I was achild, but I'm a grown-up now and I..."

"Please, Miss Barret, just listen to us!" asked the woman.

Emily had good instincts, and that was the very thing that madeher a good private detective. They had been very useful on manydifferent occasions and somehow she felt that the woman deserved tobe listened to. So she decided that it was the time to follow herinstincts one more time and help the woman.

"Okay, you two can come in."

Emily took her place at the table while Richard and Helen sat infront of her on a pair of chairs that had been previously placedthere by the investigator.

"What's your name?" asked Emily of Helen.

"I don't know my real name," Helen answered slowly. "Richard callsme Helen after his daughter, who died at the age of six."

Something in the woman made Emily believe her. Helen was sweet,intelligent and articulate and spoke in a way that made Emily almostimmediately believe the things she said.

"He told me you never came to places such as Manhattan."

"I don't like these places. I feel terribly bad in them."

"So what brought you here?"

"I had to talk to you."

"Mr. Franklin told me how he found you. Do you have any memoriesfrom before then, any at all?"

"Sometimes they come to me in dreams. I dream of a child beingtaken from my arms sometimes. I don't know his name, but I know he'smine. I have also dreamt of..." she paused as if gathering strengthto tell a very difficult thing. "Well, I'm in a car in this dream.There are two men holding my arms, beating me up. I feel they hurtingme. I feel the pain. I'm sure it's not just a dream, it's a memory.It's too real to be just a dream. They hurt me and call me a namewhich I know is not mine. Then one of the men picks up a knifeand..."

Helen had been telling all these things with a lot of difficulty,making an enormous effort in order to pronounce the words. Talkingabout these things was very painful to her, Emily noticed.

"You can trust me, Helen. I'm a friend and I'll do whatever isnecessary to help you."

"And I feel a terrible pain in my face. Then it's over. I don'tremember anything else."

"The guy in the dream hurt your face. But what makes you thinkthat it's real?"

"It's not just a dream, Miss Barret. It's real. It was real. Iactually feel the pain. I can remember it!"

Helen was feeling nervous. Thinking about these things and talkingabout them caused her an unspeakable pain. But she was strong and sheknew she had to endure it.

Franklin decided to interfere. He gave his opinion as a specialistand said that he was almost sure that it was something sheremembered.

"I don't understand, Helen. Your face is flawless, there's nothingwrong with it. It cannot be true."

"No, I have a scar. It's near my left ear. It was already fullyhealed on the night I was found by Richard."

"These things seem to be too fantastic to be true. You know, Iwould never have taken the case if I hadn't met you in person. I cantell whether a person is lying and you're not doing it for sure. Ibelieve you, but I have to be sincere." Emily paused. She stood upand looked through the window. It was difficult to say that shedidn't know whether she could solve the case or not. Everythingseemed so spooky. "I don't know if I'll be able to find out who youare. But you can be sure of one thing: if I don't do it, no one elsecan. And one more thing: you two will have to trust completely in meand give me all sorts of necessary information. I'll have to checkyour fingerprints with the police, Helen. Don't worry, I won't tellanyone if I happen to find out that you did something bad in thepast. And I'll have to check the police and hospital files. Thesethings will take a long, long time. And I'll have to spend a longtime with you two. You'll have to get used to the idea of having aperson as boring as I am annoying you all the time." Emily looked atthem and smiled. She was quite fond of joking and liked doing that inorder to make other people feel confident about her. "I'll quit allthe other cases I've been working on just to work exclusively onyours. And, of course, I'll need to be paid in advance. After all, Ihave to eat, get dressed, pay the rent and all the bills that haveaccumulated on my desk."

****

It had been three weeks since Emily had startd working on thecase. At first, she went to the hospital from which Mr. Franklin saidHelen had run away. They hadn't registered the escape of any patienton the night he found her. Weird. Too weird. Had those mad scientistsactually erased Helen's memories in that place?

Then she began checking Helen's fingerprints. Nothing. Well, atleast now she knew that Helen hadn't committed any crime anywhere inthe country.

She had been spending a long time with Mr. Franklin and Helen.They both seemed to be nice people. Richard had lost his onlydaughter in the early 60's. The little girl was all his family andHelen had taken the place of his deceased daughter in his heart. Shewas helpless and needed some sort of protection and he was a lonelyman. They needed each other and she loved and took care of him as ifhe was her own father.

They didn't need to say such things. Emily was a good observer andshe had noticed it from the beginning. Helen was a very sincere andgood person. It would be too cruel to be true if her past hadactually been stolen from her by a mad scientist of some sort.

The house where Helen and Richard lived was very large andbeautiful and it seemed to be out of place in New York. The mansionseemed like one of those old New Orleans buildings that Helen wasused to seeing in the magazines. They lived there with two servants,a cook and a butler. The cook was an angry Argentinean woman wholived in Brooklyn and the butler was a very old man who should haveretired long ago.

One night, Emily and Helen were talking in the kitchen. The cookhad just gone home and Richard was sleeping upstairs. They were allby themselves and, for the first time in three weeks, they had aninformal conversation. They talked about everything. Helen was aliterate person, she was into Shakespeare and romantic poetry, thingsthat seemed to be out of this planet for Emily, a grunge rock fan whohad grown up watching MTV. Emily had gone to school, she knew whoShakespeare was, but she'd always thought that English literature wasa complete bore.

"You had never told me you knew so many things, Helen. Your tastefor literature and arts is very sophisticated. Have you learnt allthese things from Richard?"

"No," replied Helen.

"So, you learned all these thing before. I mean, before theamnesia?"

"I suppose so."

"It's amazing. Whoever did this to you didn't want to changeyou."

"What do you mean?" asked Helen while raising her head to fix herinquisitory stare at Emily.

"I know it's a crazy idea, but I think that the person who didthis to you, if there was actually a person who wanted to make youforget things, just wanted to make you forget your past, keeping allyour other memories and thoughts untouched. Not changing you as aperson."

"But what would be the reason for that, Emily?"

"That's the very thing I want to find out." Emily was worried.Things would get really creepy if someone had actually erased Helen'smemories. Normal people don't do these things. Only those who havethe power and the knowledge for it. Besides, God knew which secretsHelen was hiding in the depths of her mind! "Well, I don't want tochange the subject of the conversation but, Helen, do you know thatyou're a very beautiful woman? Haven't you ever had anything withanyone during all these years?"

"No, would you believe me if I told you that ...Well, I feel as ifI have been missing something, or someone. Perhaps that's the onlything I want to find out. More than about who I am, I want to knowwhat I'm actually missing."

****

Emily spent another entire month working on the case. Old manRichard paid well, so she had no more worries about the rent for theoffice or her apartment. She worked 24 hours a day on the case,checking all the files possible.

She did an investigation about people missing on the day Helen wasfound by Richard. Nothing in the city. She did other research aboutpeople who had been missing 6 months before that night. She found noone who would fit Helen's description.

Emily felt as if she was walking in circles. Then she came up withthe idea of investigating crimes related to the things Helen said hadhappened to her.

Helen said that three men had attacked her one night. One of themhad a knife. She could feel, in the dream, the pain caused by hisblade on the flesh of her face. Emily had refused to believe thatthis story was true. Except for a scar near her left ear, Helen'sface was flawless. But since this was the only track Emily had tofollow, she did a research on all the police files of cases similarto this which had taken place in the late 80's.

Emily Barret had been a great police officer and she still hadvery good friends in the force who provided her all the informationshe needed. It made things very easy for her. She could spend hoursand hours in front of a computer at the station at which she used towork and no one would bother her. Even her former boss, DianaBennett, would leave her alone. She couldn't endure Diana's presence,and Bennett would always avoid her. They ignored each other everytime they met, as well as what each other was doing. Even if Emilyspent hours at the police station working on her cases, Diana wouldpretend she wasn't seeing anything just to avoid any sort ofconfrontation.

Emily did research on the crimes similar to the one Helen claimedto have been victim. The attack should have happened before 1990,since Helen's face was already fully healed the night she was found.

She did the research based not only on the kind of attack, butalso on the description of the victim: light brown hair, green eyes,about 62 inches tall. She began the research in the year 1989. Nosimilar attack. 1988, one quite similar attack, very differentvictim. 1987, no similar attack. 1986...

There was an identical case registered in 1986. The description ofthe victim was quite close to Helen's. All Emily needed now was apicture and she downloaded it from the police files. She felt herheart began beating like thunder when she finally saw it. It was her!There was no doubt about it!

The picture had been taken just a few days after the attack, sothe woman's face was all wounded and bruised. But she could recognizethat face anywhere. She read the victim's name: Chandler, Catherine.

That was it! The case was finally solved!

She felt the urge to call Helen and tell her the good news, butthen she paused. What if Mr. Franklin was right and it would be verydangerous for Helen to go back to her previous life? Before anything,she needed to know what kind of person Catherine Chandler had been,how long she had been missing. That wouldn't be difficult, but itwould probably be the most dangerous task.

****

Jacob was at the apartment where his mom used to live. The placehad been closed for months, since the people who lived there left thecity. But Jacob was a very smart boy. He had learned from Mouse howto open closed doors without keys and how to get into the most secretplaces. Mouse had also told him where his mom used to live and showedhim the secret entrance beneath his mother's apartment building. Thepassage had been closed for years, but he and Mouse managed to openit without anyone's knowledge.

Catherine's apartment was Jacob's secret place. He would go thereto spend some time by himself. He had never taken any of his friendsthere, not even little Cathy. The only person who knew about it wasMouse, but he wouldn't tell anyone.

Jacob headed to the balcony; from there he could see the wholecity. He could imagine his mother in that place. She would be readingpoetry to his father and they would watch the sun rise on the city ofNew York together.

All of a sudden, he felt a terrible sensation of alarm. He scannedthe place with his deep blue eyes, but didn't see anyone. But thisfeeling wasn't his. NO. It was his mom's! He could tell it for sure.Corpses don't feel, LIVING PEOPLE DO! How could anyone ever thinkthat she was dead?

He had to find her. Sooner or later this connection would becomestronger. He knew it. And then he would be able to know where shewas. And then he would finally meet her.

He heard some noises coming from the hallway. Someone was openingthe door. The place was full of empty boxes and he needed a place tohide. He took a place under a big cardboard box on the balcony andwatched carefully the two women who had just entered the apartment.

****

"Well, I guess this is the most appropriate place to tell you thetruth, Helen...or should I call you Catherine?" said the youngerwoman.

"What? Why did you bring me here,Emily? I feel terrible inManhattan. I told you myself. I don't feel well here. I just want toleave..."

Jacob look through a small hole in the box to the oldest woman ofthe two. The lights were off, but he could see them very well. He hadinherited his father's vision, and it made his adventures in theworld above very easy, but its never helped him to overcome his fearof dark places. In his child's mind, he believed that there werestrange things inhabiting the darkness, such as demons and witches.He needed to believe that one day he would overcome his fear. Onenight, not too long ago, he had heard his father saying to one of theelders who lived below that Jacob's fear of the dark was due to thelack of a mother figure. Perhaps it was true, but maybe he would nolonger feel it the moment he met Catherine Chandler.

He felt a pain in his chest when he recognized the oldest of thetwo. The woman in the painting, his mother. She was there, standingjust before him! He wanted more than anything to talk to her, holdher and show her how much he loved her. He would never ask her whereshe'd been all those years. But he couldn't do any of these things.He just stayed there, frozen.

"I brought you here, Helen, to tell you everything. Your real nameis Catherine Chandler. You were born in 1956. You went to law schooland became an attorney at the DA's office. You were quite good atwhat you did until one day you simply vanished. You disappeared forsix months. And then you were found. They said you were dead. Thereare files which I've seen which are nothing but a fraud. They say youhad been murdered. The detective who investigated the case was DianaBennett, my former boss. She's a kind of a hero, you know? The one wesee in the papers all the time." The younger woman seemed to bereally apprehensive and walked round and round making gestures withher hands and speaking really loudly. She was afraid of something, orsomeone. "Only that...Well, I think she made up the whole thing inorder to make things seem like you had been murdered...But youweren't. She's a dirty cop, she would do anything for her career, I'msure of that. Even things such as this..."

"Wait a minute. How can I be sure that you are not lying? "

The younger women handed Jacob's mother a folder. Then she turnedon the lights.

"Read it, Helen. There's everything about you in there. You were avery good person and you owe nothing to anyone. You helped many, manypeople. I've compiled this file for you. It's your life. If you wantit back, you just need to read it. Only, Richard must be right,knowing these things will probably be very dangerous for you."

Helen closed her eyes. So there was no reason to be afraid for herlife all these years? Then she opened the file.

"So I used to live here...Why don't I remember anything from thisplace?"

"I'm not the psychologist here. I'm just a detective and I've justdone what I had to do, which was to give your past back to you."

Slowly, Helen turned page after page. Each one of them told adifferent chapter of her story. She slowly read it all. It was all sohard to believe. It was really scary to live without a past historyand then have it all back all of sudden. It was too good to be true,and that was the very thing that scared Helen the most.

"Are you sure, Emily, that this woman is me?"

"Take a look at the picture at the end of the folder. I got itfrom the police files."

She stared speechless at a picture of herself which had been takentwelve years ago. Her face was covered with scars and bruises. Not abeautiful thing to see. She had always known that what she'd seen inthe dream had actually happened, but seeing a picture of herself likethat was too much for her.

Helen let the folder with all the papers in it fall on the floor.She was feeling dizzy and everything around her was becoming darkerand darker. She rested her back against the wall. She was going topass out.

"Helen, are you OK?" asked Emily while holding her hand. "Sorry,I've said everything too fast. I should have given you sometime. Justsit here, I'm going to get you some water."

She sat on the floor, where Emily had placed some old newspapers.Slowly she began to feel better. She raised her head and opened hereyes to see a child standing before her.

The boy was about nine years old. He had blond and not-so-shorthair and his eyes were deep blue. He was dressed in very weirdclothes, of that kind usually seen in movies that take place duringthe Middle Ages.

Helen stared at him without knowing if he was real or if he wasjust a figment of her imagination. Maybe he was just a dream, notunlike everything surrounding her. But the child was also staring ather and he was gathering the strength to speak.

"What are you doing, here you little prick?" screamed Emily,running to the kid standing before her friend. "You better tell mewho you are or..."

"She is my mother, lady!" replied the little boy, who seemed to bereally afraid of the aggressive woman who was holding his armstightly.

"Stop, Emily, you're hurting him!" Helen ordered, while separatingthe kid from the investigator.

The boy was crying. He was trying not to do it, but the tears kepton rolling down his face.

Helen looked straight into the boy's eyes, which seemed toofamiliar. There was also something in the little boy's voice whichreminded her of someone she knew. Only she couldn't remember who."Who are you? Do your mom and dad know that you're here," Helen saidtenderly while wiping away his tears with a handkerchief.

"You are my mother. I'm Jacob, your son."

She didn't know what to think or say. She had a life now, and apast. And now this.

"Why do you think I'm your mother?"

"You're Catherine, ain't you?"

"Yes, I guess that is my name. At least, it's what our friend intthe corner says. But I don't remember anything."

"So, you don't remember me?"

"I'm really sorry, but I don't remember anything or anyone from myprevious life," she replied calmly, trying not to hurt the boy'sfeelings. She said all these things looking straight into his eyesand speaking as tenderly as only a real mother could.

The negative answer only made the boy cry even more. Helen heldhim, trying to comfort him.

"Wait, I'm really sorry to disturb this emotional scene, but thekid may be right!" said Emily.

"What do you mean, Emily?" asked Helen, still holding the child.

"There's a report on your .... well, how can I say it? On yourdeath which says that you had given birth to a child just before youwere killed. The part about the death is false for sure, but the partabout the labor..."

"So..."

"There's a possibility that the kid is telling the truth. Justthat."

The three of them stayed together without knowing what to do.Helen was sitting on the floor with Jacob's head resting on her lap.Their eyes were seeing nothing, only staring at empty space whiletheir minds wandered. They spent hours like that. The kid had finallyfound his mom, but he was very disappointed with the fact that shedidn't remember him. And she was as beautiful as he had seen in thepainting and as kind as he had thought her to be. On the other hand,Helen was feeling lost, without direction. She just kept on runningher hands through the child's blonde hair.

Emily was sitting on the floor near them. She was also staring ata non-existent point in space. She shouldn't have told all thosethings so fast. Besides, bringing Helen to the place she had oncelived didn't help anything, didn't make her new-found friend becomemore comfortable about the truth. Surprise, my friend, you are dead!You have been dead for almost ten years. She owed Helen an apology.That was the best thing to do.

"What's your name?" asked Helen softly while looking at thechild's face. He seemed so familiar to her eyes. There were things inhim which reminded her of no one but herself. Perhaps the kid wasactually telling the truth and they were mother and son.

"My name is Jacob. Dad named me after the man who raised him."

"Vincent?"

Jacob raised his head from his mother's lap and looked amazedly ather. "Do you remember him, Vincent, my father?"

That was a question Helen didn't know how to answer. She stared atthe child, speechless. She couldn't remember Vincent. The name justpopped into her mind, but the simple pronunciation of it brought backthe feeling of being loved and protected. Of being complete again.

"Did you remember anything, Helen?" asked Emily, staring inamazement at her friend.

"I simply don't know..."

"For God's sake, Helen! Just try to be more clear!"

"Shh! Stop talking!" said Jacob. He looked at the door. "We'dbetter get out. There's someone else coming."

"C'mon child! There's no way for anyone to know that we're here!"Emily replied, not taking the child's instincts seriously and notknowing about his enhanced senses.

"Let's go, mother. We have to hide. Come with us, lady!" he saidto Emily "I know this building better than anyone !"

Someone put a key at the door. That was impossible, Emily thought,for she had the one apartment key available. Besides, no one knewthey were there. Unless...

"Find a place to hide, now!" Emily said while picking up her gun.

Helen and Jacob hid behind the bedroom door. She felt a weirdsensation, as if she had already been in that place before, only shewas too worried to concentrate on it.

The door opened to show the figure of a slender woman in her late30's. She was wearing sweat pants and a leather jacket. DianaBennett. Emily's former boss. She had a gun in her hand and pointedit at Emily as soon as she saw her.

"Hello, boss! You can't imagine how much I missed you!" Helen knewhow to be sarcastic at the most critical times.

"Cut the crap, Emily! Where is she? You know you two will neverget out of here alive!"

The two of them were pointing their guns at each other. So muchhate had been held through the years. Emily had been begging God fora chance to nail her former boss and show the whole department thattheir Sherlock Holmes was actually a corrupt officer who would doanything to reach higher places.

"Would you sell your soul to the devil for a promotion, Boss?Well, it seems that you've already done it!"

They kept staring at each other. Helen wanted desperately to helpher friend, but she didn't have a gun and the child just kept onholding her hand and saying without a word "Don't do it!"

"Why, Diana? Why did you make up all these things? Why did youforge all those documents and reports? I've looked for the doctor whoallegedly performed the autopsy on Catherine Chandler. But both of usknow that no autopsy had ever been done. He's missing. Did you killhim? What about all the cops that were here when she was found dead.I haven't been able to find any of them. Did you kill them, too?"

"Not me, Barret. I'm not a murderer. I would only kill forpersonal defense or if I had a cause. A real good cause. And now Ihave one."

"How did you find out that I was here?"

"I followed you. I became suspicious about what you were doingwhen I saw you at the station spending hours and hours on thecomputer. You had never done it before. None of your previousresearch had ever lasted so long. Then one of my men said you hadbeen investigating cases of aggravated assaults which occurred in the80's. I know Catherine's past as well as you do. So I thought thatperhaps she had come back from the world of the dead or from wherevershe's been the past eight years, and that you were helping her.Helping her just to nail me."

"That too. I have evidence against you, Diana. You'll never getaway with it!"

Diana shot her. Emily felt a sharp pain in her belly and shotback. She missed the target and just kept on shooting and shooting.Diana protected herself behind the wall of the apartment's entrance.The neighbors would call the police. But to hell with them! She wasthe police after all, wasn't she?

Emily fell to the floor. She would die if she didn't see a doctorsoon and all her bullets were gone. Diana just passed over her,stepping on the hand with which she was holding the gun and taking itaway from her.

Diana was heading towards the bedroom's door when Helen opened itviolently, making it beat agaisnt Diana's face. She fell to the floorwith a bloody nose.

"Come with me, mother! Trust me and I'll take you home!"

Helen headed towards Emily, helping her to run through the doorwhile Diana was on the floor trying to gather the strength to standup. Jacob was just in front of them, screaming at them to follow him.Helen knew she had no choice but to do it. Either it was follow thekid or wait for certain death with that mysterious red haired woman.

They went all the way down the stairs to the basement of theapartment building. Eighteen floors is a long distance to go when youknow there's a killer after you. Helen helped Emily to climb down thestairs, but the investigator was just getting weaker and weaker.Helen could feel the strength of her friend ebbing away. They had toget her to a doctor soon.

****

Diana just waited for the police officers to come. She should haveplanned it all in a more discreet way. Her gun was equipped to besilent, but she should have anticipated that Emily would be armed andthat her gun wouldn't have anything to silence its noise.

The neighbors had called the police. But so what? All she neededto do was show her badge to them and make up a story about followingtracks secretly. She said she had been tracking some drug dealers formonths and that the empty apartment was the place they were supposedto be. They didn't ask her too many questions. She was their superiorand a living legend among the cops.

She had picked up the fallen folder just before the officersarrived and hidden it under her jacket after taking a look at it. Itwas Catherine's Chandler entire past, from the cradle to her supposeddeath. And it also showed that her death was a fraud, something madeup by a group of coroners, forensic doctors and a police investigatornamed Diana Bennett. There was not much which could be used againstDiana in it. Emily would have hidden all the important evidencesomewhere else. But she had seen Jacob with them and she knew wherehe would take them. All she needed was time to think of a plan.

****

After getting to the basement, the two women followed the boytowards a small door hidden behind some big cardboard boxes. The kidremoved them and quickly opened the door which lead to a corridorabout six feet below them.

Emily kept her arm around Helen's shoulders. She was quicklylosing her strength and Helen was helping her to support herself.

"Come down with me. We have no choice. My Grandpa is a doctor,he's gonna help the girl."

He climbed down a small ladd behind the door after he said it.Helen and Emily followed him. Even though Helen never stopped helpingher, Emily felt it more and more difficult to go on.

The women ran through the corridors after the boy, who kept ontelling them to follow and trust him. Helen kept helping Emily,forcing her to go on. But Emily's strength was gone. She didn't havemuch time left.

"We're safe now,"Jacob said. "We've taken a way which is unknownto her. Besides, she's never known how to walk down here."

"Stop! Just give some time, please..."

"But we've got to take you to a doctor, Emily," Helen replied.

"You know as well as I do that there's no time, Helen. Please,just leave me here. I'm just making everything more difficult foryou!"

Helen pretended not to hear her friend and kept on forcing her togo on, almost dragging Emily, who still had her left arm aroundHelen's shoulders.

"No, I can't! Let me be. I'm dead," she said, while taking her armfrom Helen's shoulders and falling to the ground. Helen stopped andseated Emily against the wall. The girl didn't have a chance, she hadlost too much blood.

"I won't leave you alone. Not now." She sat down beside Emily andplaced her left arm around her shoulders. She wanted to consoleEmily, to make her feel safe in her last moments.

"Can I call you Catherine? It's a very beautiful name. You'dbetter begin getting used to it.," the young woman said with a lot ofdifficulty.

"Yes, you can."

"I have to tell you something. That woman up there is my formerboss, Diana Bennett. She's behind many bad things, including ..."Emily paused, gathering what she had left of her strength to speak,"All these things. If it wasn't for her, no one would have thoughtyou were dead. She'd been told to investigate the case of yoursupposed death. She knew it would happen, then covered up theevidence left that proved you were still alive. Diana did it forsomeone rich and powerful enough to bribe anyone. She's poison,Catherine, I've always known it. I've gathered a lot of evidenceagainst her. It's in a locker at the police station I used to workat, in Manhattan. John Monroe, a very reliable friend of mine, canshow you where it is. Look, this is the key for it."

Emily took a small gold key from her pocket and placed it inCatherine's hand. "Hand all the things in it to a guy called JoeMaxwell, he used to work at the DA's office at the time you did. He'sthe only guy I trust to deal with this. I didn't tell him you werealive. I can imagine the surprise he's going to have when he findsout that you're well! Monroe knows where to find him. He'll tellyou."

"Shh, stop talking," Catherine said softly. "It only makes youfeel weaker."

"I wish I had had more time...26 years is not enough. I wish I haddone so many things. And getting to meet you was great. You're awonderful person. I wish I could arrest the bastard who did this toyou. It wasn't Diana, for sure. She's no psychologist. It must havebeen someone really powerful. Be careful. Promise me that you'regoing to be careful. "

"Yes, Emily, I promise."

Catherine held her friend. She felt guilty for what had happenedto Emily. It was horrible to see a young person's life to shortenedlike that.

Emily closed her eyes and Catherine kept holding her. EmilyBarret, private investigator, ex-cop, 26 years old, was dead.

Catherine cried while Jacob watched the scene in silence. He feltsorry for the young woman, but he felt even more sorry about hismother. He was terribly sad to see her crying but he had to get themout of there. Diana had seen them and would be probably be trackingthem in the tunnels. There were small drops of Emily's blood alongthe way which could lead her to the place they were. Jacob wasworried. He had to get to his father as soon as he could.

"C'mon mother, let's go! We'll send someone for her after we getto Dad. Just follow me," the boy said while pulling his mother'shand.

Catherine left Emily's body, carefully placing it seated againstthe wall. She stood up and followed the kid through the corridors.She was still crying and didn't know where the boy was taking her.She was afraid, but the tunnels around her became more and morefamiliar as they went on, until they got to an entrance closed by aheavy gate of iron bars.

"Wait. I know this place." She was more controlled now, but shestill had tears in her eyes.

"You onceknew how to walk down here. Mouse told me."

"But who's Mouse?"

"You're going to remember him. He's quite...uUnforgettable. Wouldyou please push that button over there?"

The child pointed at a bottom beyond the bars. He was still toosmall to reach it and he had never done it by himself. Catherinereached it without much effort and pushed it just to see the gate ofiron bars open before her.

It all seemed too familiar. She didn't know how to explain why.

They walked through the tunnels under Central Park for anotherhalf an hour until they saw a man coming towards them. Catherinestopped. She was about to hold Jacob's hand and run away when thechild began talking to the man.

"Geoff! Have you seen my Dad?"

The man to whom Jacob was talking now was very young. He didn'tseem to have turned twenty yet, and he had a teenageer's face. Hishair was dark brown, as were his large eyes. One of the first thingsCatherine noticed about him was that he was wearing the same kind ofclothes Jacob was, which seemed to have been crafted in theeighteenth century. The two of them talking to each other seemed likesomething from another time and century and totally out of place in1998's New York City.

The man came close to them and froze. His large brown eyes widenedand he kept on staring at Catherine as if he was seeing a ghost.

"Geoff, where's Dad? Can't you hear what I'm saying?" the childasked again.

He seemed not to have heard Jacob at all. He just kept on staringat Catherine. Geoffrey was so astonished by what he was seeing thathe simply couldn't speak a word. He was petrified.

"I don't believe it! Am I seeing ghosts now?"

"What are you saying, Geoff?"

"This woman, this woman who came with you. She is Cathy Chandler!I remember when she died! How can she possibly be here?"

"Calm down, Geoffrey. I'll try to explain everything to you later.It's a long and very complicated story. Yes, she is my mother. Andyes, she is alive. But I have to talk to Dad now. Where is he? Whydidn't he come to me when I was in trouble. He always knows when I'min trouble."

"Cathy Chandler. You are Cathy Chandler! I can't believe it ! Areyou actually real?"

Geoffrey was staying right in front of her without knowing what todo. He was speechless and couldn't believe what he was seeing. He hadnever told anyone, but he had suffered a lot with her death. Of allthe children who lived below, he was the closest to her and he hadprayed to God for all the things he had been told about her death tobe a lie. But they weren't. At least, that was what he had alwaysthought until now. He opened his arms and held her tightly withoutsaying a word.

Catherine didn't know what to do. Even if she remembered Geoffreyas a boy, it would be impossible for her to recognize him because hehad changed a lot through the past nine years. He was a 6 foottall,19 year old man now, far different from the kid he had oncebeen.

"Geoff, she can't remember you!" Jacob said.

"What?" Geoffrey let her go and turned to the kid standing justbehind him.

"Not you, not me, not anyone! She doesn't even remember Dad!"

"No, I think I remember your father," she replied. "It's notactually remembering him, it's more like remembering the feeling ofbeing with him...and..."

"My God! What is this blood all over you? Are you hurt?" askedGeoff with his wide eyes staring at the many large bloodstains leftby Emily's blood on Catherine's clothes.

"No, I ...I'm OK. At least, I think I am..."

"Where's Dad, Geoff?" Jacob asked.

"What did you say, Jacob?"

"Where's DAD?" The kid was impatient with his friend who was stilltoo astonished to answer any questions.

Geoffrey held his breath and closed his eyes. It was too good tobe true. It all seemed like a dream and he was expecting someone tocome and wake him up.

"Vincent somehow felt that you were in danger. Only he didn't knowwhere you were. Little Cathy ended up telling him that you had goneabove and..."

"And what, Geoff?" Jacob seemed more and more impatient withGeoffrey.

"Diana Bennett came below and said that you were in great danger,that she knew where you were, and ..."

"And..."

"They left together to look for you."

"Diana Bennett. The woman who killed Emily," Catherine said,"She's going to kill Vincent, we have to stop her! My God, she musthave already killed Richard!"

"Wait mother, you're wrong!" Jacob said while holding his mom'shand, preventing her from going. "She loves Dad, I know it! She hasalways wanted to take your place in his heart but...Dad has neverstopped loving you. He could never forget you, mom. He suffers foryou even today. I can feel it. He's always had you in his heart andthere was no place for another woman in it!" Jacob was very maturefor his age and all the things he said only made him sound more grownup. "She would never hurt Dad. She wants you! I can't let you go nowthat I've finally found you! She will kill, mother. She will killyou..."

Catherine turned to Jacob, got down on her knees and held himtightly. She had no more doubts that Jacob was actually her son.

****

Diana took Vincent to an abandoned slaughterhouse. There was notmuch difference between the neighborhood of the building and thebuilding itself, both of them were deserted and ruined. A fewhomeless people used to sleep in the streets near there. And thoseseemed to be the only inhabitants in that area.

They went through the tunnels as fast as they could and they madeit to the slaughterhouse less than ten minutes after the beginning oftheir journey. Vincent had pulled Diana by her right hand throughoutthe journey, making her run much faster than she usually could.

They entered through a secret door in a street near the abandonedbuilding. The slaughterhouse was secured by a heavy iron gate whichVincent opened very easily.

"Jacob! Where are you?"

He went into the slaughterhouse desperately looking for his son.The only light in the place came from the streets, but darkness hadnever been a problem for him because of his enhanced senses.

Diana picked up her lantern and followed Vincent. He was soworried about his son, the only thing he had left of Catherine, thathe didn't even care to ask Diana why her face was like that. She wasstill feeling the effects of Catherine's attack, but she would makeher pay for it.

They went into a small corridor, Diana close behind him. She hadborrowed one of those guns which are used to put large animals tosleep from a friend at the Brooklyn Zoo and she meant to use ittonight. She raised it and pointed it at Vincent's back. Not even hisheightened senses would have been able to prevent him from being shotin the back by his most trusted friend.

Vincent felt the sharp pain in his back. He turned to Diana andlooked at her. There was nothing of anger in his expression.

"Why, Diana?"

She shot him again in the chest and he fell unconscious to thefloor. Diana didn't know how long the effects of the drugs would lastand she had to work fast. She checked how many darts she had left.Twenty. Her friend at the Brooklyn Zoo had provided her all that wasnecessary to keep a lion or a bear asleep for a month and he hadnever asked her why. He trusted her. Vincent trusted her. Everybodytrusted her.

She picked up some chains in a not too distant corner and tiedVincent's hands and legs. Those were very thick and heavy chains andshe had previously left them there. There was no way for him toescape, not even if he woke up. But she would be careful to keep himunconscious.

Diana was feeling terribly tired. The sharp pain in her nosehadn't stopped yet and she was literally exhausted. All her bodyasked her was to go home to sleep, but she still had too much to do.

She went looking for pipes in the building, pipes which seemedlong enough to reach the depths of the big city. Diana found some ina place which should have been some sort of office. She tapped amessage on them.

"And now there is just the waiting."

She picked up the dart gun in her left hand and the real gun inher right, went to the place where Vincent was asleep, sat beside himon the floor and waited.

****

Catherine and Jacob were alone in Vincent's chamber. Jacob triedto explain to her about everything, about life in the world below,about how Vincent had met her, about how her son had always felt thatshe was alive.

She was sitting on Vincent's bed listening to the kid, withoutsaying a word. She had been a person without a past for the past nineyears and had been using a name which wasn't hers. But now she notonly had a past, she also had a son, a secret which she had to keepfor the rest of her days, and a killer chasing her down. Everythinghad happened so fast that she hadn't had time to think yet.

Jacob just went on talking and talking and walking around theroom. He told Catherine about Diana as well. Even though she was oneof his father's best friends, Jacob had never liked her. He wouldalways treat her well and respect her because of his father, but thefeelings he had for her were not unlike those that a stepkid has forits stepmother. Jacob had always considered Diana an intruder,someone who wanted to take his mother's place.

"Have you sent anyone for Emily?"

"You mean the girl who was with you? Yes, I told some of ourfriends below. She's going to have a decent funeral. I promise. Weare going to find her family and talk to them. Be sure of that."

An eight year old child speaking like an adult. Catherine rose toher feet and scanned the room with her eyes. She remembered thisplace, there was no doubt about it. And she could remember a voice aswell. A voice which she had first heard in this room.

She went to Vincent's writing desk. There were some books on it.

"Isn't it weird? I remember the context of some of these books,but I can't remember reading them," she said.

"Who is Richard? You said his name when we met Geoffrey," Jacobasked.

"He found me one day. I can't recall that day, but he has told meabout it. He's been like a father to me since then. He's my protectorand I am a kind of daughter to him as well. I thought that Diana hadkilled him when I first found out your father had gone above withher, but now I see that it's not possible. The only things she knowsabout me are in that folder Emily handed me, and there's nothingabout him in there. The only thing in there about my present life isthat the name I use is Helen. I remember it quite well."

She paused for a moment, put her hand on the stains left byEmily's blood on her clothes and said, "I'm sure she cannot do anyharm to Richard. She doesn't know anything about him and he's theonly one who can help us. I don't think we should just stay heresitting all evening, waiting for your Dad, or for Diana to come witha shotgun."

Geoffrey came into the room. He had been running and he was out ofbreath.

"I have a message for you, Catherine, from Diana. It has beendelivered through the pipes," Geoffrey said.

"She knew I would be here because she saw me with Jacob."

"She told you to go to this place in the Lower East Side. I notedit down because I'm terrible at keeping addresses in my mind," Geoffsaid.

Geoff handed her a piece of paper. He told her he knew the placeand about a secret door which leads to it. He also told her thatDiana didn't know anything about this secret passage and about thetunnels which lead to it.

"She has Vincent, Catherine. That's what we could understand fromthe message. She also said something about evidence, and that you hadto go alone."

"I'm going there."

"And I'll go with you, mother."

"No. You can't go in there with me, " She bent down on her kneesand looked into the kid's eyes, "It's too dangerous for you. You'rejust a child. She has taken away my past, and I'm going to have itback tonight. Could either of you two lead me to the nearesttelephone?"

****

Geoff and Jacob took her to a public telephone. They were still inManhattan and she had to get through to Richard. He was her onlyhope.

Richard met the three of them at the telephone booth from whichshe had called him. It took him well over forty minutes to get to theplace.

"Good Lord, Helen! Where have you been?" Richard said and held hertightly. "I thought you were dead. It's been over four hours sinceyou left with Emily. And, Helen, what do you have in mind for this?"After saying that, he handed Catherine an object in a big brownenvelope.

"Look, Richard, Emily found out everything about me. I mean,almost everything. My name is not Helen, it's Catherine, and thislittle boy with me is my son."

"What?"

"Richard, Emily is dead. See these bloodstains on my shirt? It washer blood. She died in my arms less than four hours ago. She's beenkilled by a police officer called Diana Bennett."

Richard looked at Catherine's shirt and noticed the blood hehadn't seen before. He was in shock. He liked Emily, she was a goodgirl, and he couldn't stop feeling guilty about her death.

"My God!"

"Richard, I don't know if I'll make it through the night. Dianahas sent me a message. I know where she is but I can't call thepolice to take her. She has a ...a friend of mine with her and thepolice would only cause him trouble."

"But, Helen, you can't go there by yourself. Don't ..."

"I'm sorry, Richard. I'll call you when it's all over. Ipromise."

She handed Richard the key Emily had given her.

"This key was given to me by Emily just before she died. It is alocker key. She told me to look for a police officer called JamesMonroe at the police station she used to work. Do you know where itis?"

"Yes, I do. But..."

"He knows which locker is opened by this key. Take all the thingsin it and give them to a man called Joe Maxwell. He used to work atthe District Attorney's office. Can you find him?"

"Yes..."

"Tell him that Catherine Chandler is alive and that she, or I,will talk to him later." Catherine paused. It would be difficult forher to get used to this new name. "Emily said he's the only personshe trusted. He used to work with me... before all this happened. Shehas gathered enough evidence to make Diana fall. We have to do it,Richard! We owe her that!"

After saying it, Catherine hugged her adoptive father and leftwith Geoffrey and Jacob. They went along the street, turned aroundthe corner, and Richard lost sight of them.

Richard was afraid. Afraid of losing the woman he considered apart of his family and who he loved as a daughter. He was also sorryfor Emily. She was so young, she had so much to live for and learn.He didn't want Helen to end up the same way.

He held the key tightly in his hand. There was nothing he could dobut get all the things in the police station's locker and hand themto Joe Maxwell. Slowly, he turned around, got a taxi and asked theman to take him to the ninth district police station, in Manhattan.

****

They went through a secret door down to a tunnel which Geoffreysaid was a shortcut to the Lower East Side. It took them about twohours until they got to the place. All of them were exhausted bythen.

Catherine sat down on the floor and opened the envelope Richardhad given her. She pulled up a huge gun from it. She didn't knowwhich kind of gun it was. As a matter of fact, she wasn't even surewhether she could shoot it or not.

"Jacob, has Vincent ever mentioned me using one of thesethings?"

"Talking about you is a subject that always brings him some pain,but Mouse told me that you could shoot. That one night you shot athug who was threatening our people and that you hurt him in theleg."

"Did I really do that?" She widened her huge green eyes and lookedat the boy. It was hard to believe that she had actually shot anyone.

"Yes, you can be sure you did it. I remember it," Geoffrey said.

"What do you remember about me, Geoffrey?"

"You were one of the two greatest women I have ever met! The otherone was Mary, who raised me. You looked then very much like you donow, only your eyes didn't seem so sad. I didn't want to believe itwhen they told me you were gone...but I had to accept that."

Catherine held the gun tightly in her right hand. She had missedso many things during the past nine years. But now it was time tohave her life back. She didn't care much whether she died or not. Shejust wanted to save Vincent and know the truth. And now it was thetime for it.

"You two stay here. This is just between Diana and me."

"She's going to kill you," Jacob said. He had a tendency to bepessimistic and he was afraid of losing the mother he had just met.

Catherine held Jacob one more time, left him and opened the secretdoor which led to the street. The slaughterhouse indicated in theaddress was just before her, across the road. She looked at the gunonce more. She knew she was crazy to do something like this all byherself, but it was the only way.

She went in. The place seemed to be abandoned, as well as thestreets surrounding it. No noises at night. She checked the time onher watch; it was exactly 4:00 in the morning.

"I've been waiting for you!" Diana screamed and shot at Catherine.Even though Diana had already turned on some of the place's lights,the whole building was still too dark for a shot as distant as that.

Diana had missed her and Catherine hid herself behind a wall.

"You brought a gun. You weren't supposed to have brought one! "Diana said while clambering down the stairs to the place Catherinewas hidden.

Catherine pointed the gun at Diana and shot. She missed her, butat the same time scared for having pointed a gun at a person with theintention of shooting it.

Diana was much closer to Catherine now, only about twelve feetaway. She looked at Catherine and shot her in the hand just beforeCatherine had the chance to shoot once again.

Catherine let the gun fall to the floor and fell down on herknees, holding her wounded right hand. She looked up at Diana. Shewas really angry. She had never felt like this, not that sheremembered. She could have knocked Diana down if the woman hadn't hada gun.

"Show a little decency and give me back my past before I die. Ihave to die knowing who I am."

Diana went closer to her, less than six feet away. She looked downat Catherine. Killing her now would be so easy that she almost feltsorry.

"I just want you to know that I'm not a killer. I'm only doingthis for a reason. And the reason is love. Vincent is mine now andyour coming back is only going to make things unbearable for me. DOYOU UNDERSTAND?"

"How could you not be a killer if you killed Emily?" Catherinesaid.

"I know, but I did it for love!" Diana replied.

"How about my past, my life? Did you take it away from me for loveas well?

"No. I didn't take away your past. Gabriel did it. He was the onewho made you forget everything. He had doctors and scientists workingfor him as well as some cops, such as me. Some of these doctorsperformed terrible mind experiments with people," Diana answeredcalmly, almost softly.

"So that's what I was for him, a guinea pig? Nothing but a rat inan experiment?" Catherine looked down at her hand. There was a hugehole in the middle of it which ached like hell. She wanted to screamfor help, but she couldn't call Geoff and Jacob. They had heard theshooting for sure, but Diana could easily kill them both. It would bebetter to keep them out of it.

"No, you weren't. He loved you. At first, he only wanted the childyou were carrying."

"Jacob?"

"Yes, little Jacob. He knew about the nature of the pregnancy andthat the father wasn't exactly what you would call...human. That waswhy he wanted the child," Diana said coldly, never diverting the gunfrom Catherine.

"What do you mean? Not human?"

"So you don't remember him?" Diana laughed. "I wish Vincent hadseen this, that his beloved Catherine doesn't even remember hisface!"

Catherine rose to her feet and was about to push Diana when shefelt a sharp pain in her left knee. Diana had shot her one more andshe fell on the floor again. This was too much. What did the womanwant to do to her, torture her?

"But don't you want to listen to the rest of the story before youdie?"

Catherine lifted her head and stared at Diana. There was no doubtthat, for as long as she could remember, she had wanted to know abouther past. But she cwould never have imagined that she would haveended up learning about it like this.

"The pregnancy was not normal and Gabriel kept you a prisonerbecause of the child, but he fell in love with you. Even though hewas a nasty person, he was able to love in his own way. And he lovedyou...and he wanted you to love him. But he knew that you would neverlove him. You already loved Vincent and you would never give yourselfto a jerk like that." Diana paused. "He could have raped you. Itwould have been very easy, but it would have endangered the life ofthe child. Besides, he wanted you to love him truly."

"DO you actually expect me to believe in this bullshit?" Catherineasked angrily.

"Oh, my dear, but this is all you have to believe in. But allow meto go on," Diana said ironically.

Catherine was sitting on the floor, and the red pool created bythe blood from her hand and knee was getting larger and largerunderneath her.

"So Gabriel decided that the best way of having you was making youforget you were Catherine Chandler. He had the means and he had thepower to do it. Such things were very easy for him. He made everyonethink that you were dead. Even the cops who found you and thecoroners who had confirmed that you were dead had been bribed by him.I remember I met the guy who had allegedly performed the autopsy onyou, he was another of Gabriel's guys."

"What do you mean by all this?" Catherine asked

"I'm saying that all the evidence surrounding your death was madeup by Gabriel. He expected a person such as me to investigate theChandler case, so he found me."

"And he bribed you. How much did it cost, Diana?"

"I'm not what you think I am. I didn't do it for the money."

"So what was the reason for it?" Catherine asked.

"At first, I just wanted to climb to a higher step in my career.I've been the youngest lieutenant in the police's history. I didn'tget ahead by my own credits alone. I had help from some people.Gabriel knew it and promised to help me if I covered all the tracesthat proved that you were still alive."

"So what has he done to me?"

"He sent you to a comfortable hospital near the road from here toNew Jersey. That was the place where some of his doctors performedthese experiments. Everything was done in secret, of course."

Catherine closed her eyes and concentrated. She was about to passout but she couldn't let it happen. Even though this crazy storyseemed quite absurd, it made some sense when coupled with all theinformation Emily had given her.

"And where's Gabriel now?" Catherine asked.

"I had to kill him. I stumbled on Vincent during the investigationof your supposed death and..."

"And what?"

"I've fallen in love with him. Can't you remember anything abouthim at all? He's very easy to love, Catherine. And you're the onlywoman he's ever loved in his whole life." Diana Bennett paused,thinking of what she was going to say next. "I didn't know whereGabriel was nor where he kept the child. I only knew where he keptyou. So I found out where he was and killed him. He would have killedVincent or the child. He was completely out of control. That's whatpower does to some people."

"Yes, I can see it now. "

"Now you know the whole story. I just did it like the villains inthe movies. Have you ever noticed how they always tell the wholestory in the end? You know you are already a dead woman by now, don'tyou?"

"Yes, I do."

"But I am a woman of my word. Tell me where all the evidence Emilygave you against me is and I'll spare Vincent's life. There's no wayto spare your life. I hope you understand that."

"How can I be sure that you're not going to kill Vincent after youkill me?"

"That's all you have. I'll shoot him in front of your eyes if youdon't do it." Diana was now nervous, but she was still managing tocontrol herself.

"How could you possibly kill the man that you love?" Catherinesaid before Vincent came between them.

Vincent had woken up due to the sounds of the shooting and hadmanaged to break most of the chains that had been keeping him tiedup. He was too dizzy to fight. Besides, he didn't want to hurt Dianaand tried to argue with her. He kept himself between the two women,protecting Catherine with his own body.

"You don't need to do this. Give me the gun, Diana. I know you'rea good person. You've proven it to me more than once."

"Why would I do it? Would it be just so you could slice me inpieces for your beloved Catherine?"

"Diana...You know I would never do that. You're my friend!"

"Shut up, Vincent!"

Catherine reached for the gun Richard had given her with her lefthand and shot Diana in the chest. The gun wasn't so distant from her,so picking it up wasn't difficult. But she was a righty and reachingfor the gun and shooting it with her left hand wasn't easy.

Diana fell down to her knees. Catherine had managed to shoot herin the chest, but she was still alive. She pointed her gun atCatherine, who shot her three more times.

Diana was now dead. Catherine knew she had killed a person andfelt awful about it. She let herself fall, never releasing the gunfrom her hand. At first, she didn't believe Diana, but then shethought about all the things Emily had told and showed her. The wholecrazy story began to make sense. And now she had seen Vincent. Eventhough she couldn't remember him, she knew she loved him. And nomatter if she died now, she knew she was now complete, like she oncehad been.

Vincent reached for her and held her in his arms. Was it reallyher? The woman he had always loved H e had heard a large part of theconversation. So she couldn't remember anything...

But how could all that be possible? She had died in his arms nineyears ago. He had felt her slipping away. And now she was once againlying hurt in his arms. She was losing too much blood and he wasafraid one of the bullets had reached an artery. He couldn't lose heragain. He couldn't.

"Catherine, please, answer me if you can still hear me!"

Even though she was about to pass out, she opened her eyes andlooked at him. She felt protected, as if nothing in the world couldever harm her.

"You know, I couldn't remember your looks but I've never forgottenyour voice...It would come to me in dreams." She felt it difficult tospeak because she was feeling weaker and weaker due to the loss ofblood.

"My God, I have to take you to a hospital."

"No! I've just killed a police officer. She was about to kill me,it was self defense but...I still don't have any of the proof againsther."

Vincent ripped a piece of his shirt, lifted her long skirt andmade a tourniquet around her wounded knee. He ripped another piece ofskirt and enveloped her wounded hand in it. There were two smallholes in Catherine's left knee, one in the front and one in the back,indicating that the bullet had passed through it. The damage in herdelicate right hand was much worse. It seemed that the bullet hadexploded inside of it, leaving a huge hole which went all the wayfrom her thumb to her ring finger.

"Just promise you're always going to stay with me."

She tried to answer, but she was too weak due to the loss of bloodand didn't have any strength left to speak.

He lift her from the floor. He was still too dizzy because of thedrugs, but he felt that he still could take her to the hospital theyhad below.

He ran with her in his arms and opened the secret door that led tothe tunnels just to see Geoffrey and Jacob standing near the door.

"What are you two doing here?" Vincent asked them.

"We took her here. We thought that Diana didn't know about thispassage," answered Geoffrey.

"But she knew! I led her here through these secret tunnels! "Vincent said

"My God! What has that woman done to you, mother?"

Catherine opened her eyes and looked at the child. She wantedJacob to know that she was OK, that she wouldn't die. But she was soweak and tired.

"Did you kill her, Mother?" Jacob asked while looking at the gunshe had never stopped holding.

"She had to do it, Jacob. Diana left her no choice. Let's take herto your grandfather now. We have no time to waste."

Vincent ran as fast as he could through the tunnels with Geoff andJacob after him. He would have gone faster if the effects of thedrugs had already ceased.

By the time they got to the small hospital they kept below,Catherine had already passed out. She had already lost too much bloodand Vincent couldn't feel the joy of knowing that she was alivebecause of the fear he had of losing her once more.

He delivered her to old Jacob's care, who couldn't help beingsurprised at seeing Catherine alive and breathing.

****

Vincent waited in his chamber with Jacob and Geoffrey for Father'snews. They knew the surgery had every chance of being successful, butVincent was still afraid for her because of the amount of blood shehad lost.

They waited for about three hours until Father came into the room.

"She is well now. I only don't know whether she'll be able to moveher right hand again or not. Vincent, how did this happen to her? Andhow can she be alive? I went to her funeral, I saw them burying thecoffin. How can this be possible?"

Vincent didn't answer his father and simply stared at the gun onhis writing table. Catherine had killed Diana with it. It was toohard to believe it...

"Dad," Jacob said, "We have to call the man who gave the gun tomom. I still have his number with me. He'll be able to help her witheverything. Are you coming with me, Geoff?"

"No, Jacob. I'm sorry. You know I would do almost anything forCatherine, but I'm just too tired to do anything now. You go thereand tell me what happened later."

It was past 8:00. Everybody was feeling tired after the previousnight, but Vincent and Jacob simply couldn't sleep.

Jacob left the chamber to call the man called Richard. His fatherstayed behind. He couldn't think of what to do. Having her backagainwas wonderful, it was too good to be true. Only she didn't rememberhim. He still loved her with all his heart, but he didn't knowwhether she still loved him or not.

What about Diana? He had always considered her his friend. Hisclosest friend. He had always known about her feelings about him, buthe'd never given her any hope. Diana had always known that hebelonged to Catherine, and he would never have another woman as longas he lived.

Vincent could never have imagined that Diana would betray him. Shewas hiding from him the fact that Catherine was still alive. Howcould she have done that? Even though he knew very well whatever hisold friend had done and all the pain she had caused to him, hecouldn't help feeling sorry for her.

He stood up and walked around the room with just a few words inhis mind. "Will she ever love me again?"

****

Catherine woke with little Jacob beside her. What kind of placewere they in? A hospital? She still could feel some pain in her righthand and left knee, but it was much better already. She lifted thesheet and saw her legs. Everything seemed to be OK with them.

"I've been waiting you to wake up," Jacob said.

"How long have I been here?"

"19 hours and 54 minutes. I thought for a moment you would neverwake up, but Grandpa said you would be just fine. He also told methat you'll be able to walk within three weeks, but you'll have touse a cane for a while. As for your hand...Grandpa said he did thebest he could...but...well..."

"But..."

"He didn't all have the stuff here to make it be like it wasbefore...I'm sorry..."

She looked at all the bandages around her hand. Was she a cripplenow? No, there was no need to exaggerate about it.

The child held her good hand. He was glad to see her OK, but hewas afraid that she would go back above.

"I've called that man, Richard. He's worried about you. He wantsto see you. I couldn't allow him down here because of our secret. Noone knows we live here. But I told him you would be fine. I haven'ttold him that you had been shot. I didn't have the guts to say it. Hesaid he's got all the evidence against Diana in that girl'slocker."

"You mean Emily?"

"Yes, in Emily's locker. He's already given it to that guy...Maxwell. Diana is no longer a cop hero anymore and some other guyshave been arrested too. There is one more thing. The man also told methat you are clean and there is nothing against you. They think Dianawas killed by one of the bad guys she had worked for. You are notofficially...well...How can I say it?"

"Dead?"

"You are not officially dead anymore. Everybody knows that you arealive now. Only no one knows where you are. You won't leave us again,will you?"

She wanted to promise the child that she'd always been there. Shehad no other place to go. This was her life and now she had it back.But she was so afraid of what was about to happen that she didn'tknow what to do.

Vincent was standing at the entrance watching the two of them.They hadn't noticed his presence yet. And they looked so beautifultogether.

"It all seems like a dream, doesn't it?" said a person standingbehind him.

He turned and saw Geoffrey. He had just arrived and was alsowatching Catherine and Jacob.

"It seems that at any time, someone is going to come to wake usup, doesn't it?" Geoffrey asked.

"Yes."

"But it is not a dream. Vincent, you are my friend and I've alwaysloved you like a brother. I know you and I know you want to talk toher. So, why don't you just do it?"

"I don't know whether she'll accept me again. Look at me Geoffrey!I'm a monster! She accepted me in the past. But now... she doesn'teven remember me! I love her too much to cause her anymore trouble.She has already gone through so many things..."

"But you won't cause her any trouble if you talk to her! If sheaccepted you in the past, there's no way for her to refuse you now.Feelings are things that you never forget, and I'm sure that,somehow, in the bottom of her heart, she still remembers that sheloves you."

Vincent didn't move. It was still too difficult to believe thatshe was alive. It was simply too good to be real...

"Will you go there or not, Vincent? See? They've already noticedus here. Go there and talk to her!"

Geoffrey had never imagined that one day he would see Vincent likethat, looking like a shy teenager, too afraid to talk to the girl heloved. The Vincent he had always known was the underworld hero towhom limitations and boundaries meant nothing. But he couldunderstand Vincent more than anyone. He knew what Catherine hadalways meant to Vincent and how good it was to have her back. But shecouldn't remember anything. And that was the very thing that washurting Vincent so much and which made him feel afraid. Vincent andCatherine had shared so many things. And he was the only one whoremembered them.

"Come with me, Vincent. I will help you," Geoff said before goinginto the room. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. How are youdoing?"

"I'm OK. Jacob said I'll be walking within three weeks. Onlyspending three weeks in bed is going to be too boring," Catherineanswered.

"Oh, but don't worry, we'll provide you enough entertainment for awhole lifetime while you're in bed. Do you plan to stay with us? Imean, do you want to stay here after you get better?"

"Well, I think so. I feel well in this place. Besides, Jacob ishere and I don't want to be away from him. "

"That's a very good reason. But allow me to give you one more.Vincent, come here! Don't be shy, my friend! I'm sure the SleepingBeauty here wants to talk to you as much as you want to talk toher!"

Vincent approached the three of them slowly. He looked at her. Somany years had passed and she still seemed the same. He was almostsure she would feel afraid of him. She had forgotten everything. Howcould this have been possible?

"Well, Jacob, we'd better get going.These two have much to talk toeach other about."

Jacob kissed his mother and left with Geoffrey. Before he left, hehugged his father and said that he didn't need to worry.

"Don't you feel afraid of me?" Vincent asked.

"No, why would I?"

"But you don't remember me, do you?"

She looked into his eyes. She somehow felt she still loved him andthat whatever they had shared in the past was still alive. She wishedshe could tell him that she remembered him. But she couldn't. All shecould remember was the feeling, the love she had had for him.Besides, she simply loved him. Did he need any explanations besidesthat?

"Don't you remember anything we shared in the past?" he insistedonce again.

Catherine went on looking into his eyes. She didn't want to answerno, but she couldn't lie.

"I have dreams which always repeat themselves. I believe they'rememories of the person I was. Memories from before it all happened tome," she said.

"But you can't you remember me?"

"No, I can't."

He felt as if someone had driven a knife through his heart. Ithurt him so badly that he couldn't remember a time when he had feltso much pain. Not even when he thought she was dead. He couldn'tprevent the tears from coming from his eyes. He sat on a bed besidethe one she was in and cried like a child.

"Vincent, please, don't cry!" She sat on her bed with somedifficulty. "Come and sit beside me."

Vincent raised his head and looked at her once more. Now he hadlost all the hopes that she would ever love him again. He was feelingmiserable.

He sat on the bed Catherine was in with his back turned at her. Hedidn't want her to see his face.

"Vincent, I'll need your help to remember everything. Could you doit?"

"I can help you with anything you need, Catherine. I would doanything for you. Anything."

"Look at me, please."

Slowly, he turned at her. Oh, God, how much he loved her. Hewanted to hold her in his arms and say it, but he couldn't. Thereonce had been days when he could feel what she was feeling. But noweverything she had on her mind was a mystery to him. Did she stilllove him, after everything she had been through?

"Vincent, I can't explain but...I love you. I can't explain why. Isimply love you, nothing but that. Why is it so difficult for you toaccept that."

"But you can't remember me!"

"No, I can't. I simply know your voice from dreams I always have.I often see myself sick, on a bed. I'm feeling terribly afraid, untilI hear your voice. You say that I'm safe and that no one can hurt me."

"But it really happened. It was over ten years ago, when I foundyou.."

He stopped. He didn't want to bring back such a painful memory.

He was more in control now and had already stopped crying. But hewas still so full of fears.He pondered that she might be even moreafraid than him. He put himself in her shoes and thought how terriblethose years must have been to her, without remembering anything fromher past life. He held her wounded hand carefully. She was so fragileand delicate that he felt a desperate need to care for her, toprotect her.

"Do you feel any pain?" Vincent asked.

"It'll be over soon."

"I imagine how all those years must have been hard for you.Without knowing who you were. Didn't you feel alone?"

"I felt incomplete. As if there was a part of me which wasmissing."

And they held each like they used to before she had been takenaway from him.

"Catherine, I missed you so much. There hasn't been a day Ihaven't thought about you. I have dreamt of a moment when I would seeyou again. I could never have imagined that you were still alive...never."

"I'll always be here, Vincent. I know that I have my life backnow. And I love you.I don't think we ever forget the feelings, dowe?"