Love Letters

By ChicagoTunnelKid

Vincent walked Catherine to his chamber, and thought about how best to present her with his anniversary present. He was so intent on his thoughts that Catherine had to point out two envelopes on his table, each marked with one of their names.

“Whatever could this be?” Catherine asked, thinking perhaps Vincent was in on something represented by the letters.

“I am just as surprised as you.” Vincent shrugged. “I believe it to be Father’s writing, but why would he write when he could just tell us? Perhaps we should each take our letters and read them to find out." So they each took a chair at his table, reached for their respective letter, and began to read.

Catherine picked up her letter with some trepidation. Would there be censure of something she had said or done? She often felt she fell short of whatever measurement Father was taking of her.

My dearest Catherine,

Forgive me for using a letter as a means of conveying my thoughts on your and Vincent’s anniversary. This letter is important; it holds words meant to reflect and judge upon my own behavior toward you. For a long time, I have felt this was needed; I claim an old man’s prerogative to have selected the when.

Catherine, you are a wonder. The love you have for Vincent is clear. If ever I doubted it, I do no longer. For too long, I let my own history with love cloud my vision of you. I loved Margaret with a passion quite equal to Vincent’s for you. Unfortunately, she was not the woman you are. Superficially, I judged you to be like her. That was unfair. So my fear that you would someday break my son’s heart was unfounded. Your steadfast love has proven otherwise.

Your love has given Vincent such life, so much happiness, the ability to dream and see possibilities that all of us Below take such joy in sharing. I truly don’t know what might have happened to Vincent if he hadn’t found you that April 12th. He tried to hide it, to show us all he was living as richly as he could, but a father can tell when his son is unhappy. Vincent was profoundly unhappy.

Until you.

Still, I couldn’t trust my son finding someone who could truly love him for all that he is. I may seem all-knowledgeable but when it comes to knowing and understanding Vincent, there are large pieces that are still a mystery to me. I am humbled to realize that you now understand my son better than I. For too long, I let questions swirling in my head about his unusual aspects color my thoughts about what would be possible for him in relationships. You, my dear, clearly showed me the wrongness of those thoughts. Your courage, loyalty, and caring for my son are the best gifts I have ever received. Because of you, I know Vincent will be okay - no, he will thrive the rest of his days without me hovering in the wings. It is hard for a father to let go. Thank you for making it easier.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also thank you on behalf of our little community. Your selfless sharing of your time, talents, and, when necessary, your resources have meant so much to us all. You couldn’t be anything else and have Vincent’s love. He chose wisely.

My dear, let me close by saying you are every bit a daughter in my heart. Bless you for your forbearance in winning over a crusty old man who took his sweet time to admit his wrongs. And if I haven’t told you before, let me say it now: I love you.

Unconditionally, free of doubt, and with a grateful heart, I love you.

I wish you both a happy anniversary, and know there will be many more to come.

Yours,

Father

Catherine looked up at Vincent with tears in her eyes. Vincent was still reading.

She closed her eyes to savor the words she just read. Father could not have given her a better gift. She knew this one was from his heart. Early in their relationship, she would sometimes feel flashes of hostility before they were covered by his innate good manners. She had wondered if they would ever be able to mend the breach. As years went by, she knew that his feelings had thawed considerably toward her, but she still felt something set her apart in his eyes.

But no more; their love for Vincent turned out to be the bridge between them.

Vincent was curious. He remembered only one other time Father had written him a letter. It was after the Lisa fiasco, and Vincent mostly remembered the hurt he felt even as Father tried to explain. He hoped this letter would be different.

Vincent,

Let me take this occasion of your anniversary to tell you some thoughts long overdue. Were I a better man, and father, it would not have taken this long to say what needs to be said. You have given so much more to me than I am afraid I ever gave you. The least I can do now is offer my apologies for standing in your way with Catherine. I was wrong. There are no other words for it.

It must be said now before I may not say it at all, for the years have caught up to me and I fear it won’t be long before I join Margaret once again.

Chalk it up to an over-protective father. But I had so much to protect, so much to lose. From the first time I held you in my arms, I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of my love for this tiny baby that I wanted to live life in all its richness. Yet, I knew you faced what seemed to be insurmountable odds. Would I be up to the task? But you were, and are, extraordinary, Vincent.

You persevered and thrived. Probably in the only place you could.

For that, I am grateful to have had a guiding hand in creating this community.

I was so afraid for you, Vincent. My fear stemmed from my own life’s experience having chewed up and spit me out - me, an accomplished physician. Good God, what would happen to you? So when your forays Above became more frequent and more far-reaching because of Catherine, I was at my wit’s end with worry.

It was easier to blame her than to look at my role in it.

But that was my fear, not yours. I realize now I didn’t trust you in any real way that gave support to your choices. I taught you everything I could; I should have known you learned good decision-making in regards to your own life.

There was so much about you I didn’t know, couldn’t know.

Rather than trust faith or destiny, I chose worry. Worry about you, about those in the community should you be involved in something. For if the community turned on you, what would happen then? I’m ashamed that I underestimated my friends as badly as I underestimated you. You had, and have, their unconditional love and support. Clearly, worry was the wrong choice.

I admire you, Vincent. For you know how to love way better than I, and I have no idea where you learned it. Your love for Catherine, despite everything you both have been through, the obstacles, both real and imagined, that you both overcame, is astounding. I swear, when you are together, there is an energy around you both that is palpable. I know you are in good hands – each other’s. Catherine is now your protector, and a fiercer one you couldn’t find. She would do anything for you, as you would for her.

Together, you are unstoppable for any dream you choose to pursue.

So this father can stop his worrying. I’m sorry it took as long as it did. I bless the heavens that you saw fit to see past me while keeping me in your orbit. You followed your path as you were meant to do.

I’m so proud of you. Proud of you both.

I have come to think of Catherine as my daughter, as she has gained my heart almost without my knowing. I see why you love her. She is worthy of your love; be sure to stay worthy of hers.

One last thing before I close. No father had a better son. You gave your love to me freely, and you brought back to me my other son, Devin, when I had foolishly thought to deny his parentage.

I bless the day you were brought to me as a baby. I love you, Vincent. Although not an excuse, I believed I acted with love even when I erred. But I want you to know how much I love you and cherish time with you as the man you’ve become. I rejoice in the love you’ve found with Catherine.

So, Happy Anniversary, Vincent. May you and Catherine have many more.

Love always, my son ,

Father

Tears ran down Vincent’s cheeks when he looked up at Catherine. He noticed her tears. The two rose as one and held each other as their emotions swept over and through them. After a time, Catherine pulled back and offered her letter to Vincent. He took hers only on the condition that she read his. They sat back down and began reading.

Once more, tears flowed. Silence cocooned the two as they dealt with their emotions and settled into a less raw state. Vincent cleared his throat to speak.

“Catherine, I had planned a late picnic supper behind the falls as part of our celebration. But I was wondering ..."

“... if we should share it with Father instead?” she finished for him.

A tilt of his head acknowledged her powers of perception.

“I can think of no better way to celebrate this anniversary than with Father.” She smiled, rose up from the chair and walked over to join her hand with Vincent’s.

The two set off, hand in hand, down the tunnels to Father’s chamber. They went with an odd mixture of lightness and sadness. Lightness from words said that were never expected, but gratefully received; and sadness, knowing that Father acknowledged his aging. Now, without asking, they had Father’s blessing. Unaware how much it mattered to either of them, they couldn’t help the smiles that broke out across their faces, their eyes shining with love and happiness.

This was an anniversary they would never forget.