Boxers, Briefs or Commando?

by Barbara Handshy Anderson








Sitting across the table in Catherine’s favorite greasy spoon, Jenny eyed her friend suspiciously.


“You can’t fool me, Cathy. I know there’s someone in your life. Ever since we were twelve years old, I could tell just by looking at you, whenever you were in love. And let me tell you, it is written all over your face. You practically glow these days. And I know it isn’t your skin cream.”


Catherine rolled her eyes, shook her head, and tried to deny it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jen.”


Jenny just laughed. “Deny it all you want, kiddo, but I know what I know. And let me tell you … I KNOW!”


Catherine pursed her lips and stubbornly refused to admit anything.


In exasperation Jenny tried one more tack. “Will you at least answer one question?”


Catherine considered for a moment before her reply. “That depends on the question.”


Jenny seized her chance. If I get one question, I better make it good, she thought. “All right then.” A slow smile crossed her face. She was sure she had Cathy cornered. “Boxers, Briefs or Commando?”


Catherine’s eyes widened in surprise. “Jenny Marie Aronson! I … am … shocked!”


“Stop talking to me like you’re my mother. Come on, Cathy, spill.”


Catherine picked up her napkin and slowly wiped her mouth. It gave her a moment to come up with an answer.


“I’m waiting,” Jenny insisted. “And I’m not letting you off the hook this time.”


Placing her napkin down, Catherine stared momentarily at the table.  Then looking up at her best friend, she smirked mischievously.  “Well then, if you insist …” she began in her most innocent of voices. “Except for my trainer, Isaac Stubbs, I don’t actually know any ‘boxers’.  And if I don’t give Joe the ‘briefs’ for the Stevenson trial by two o’clock, he is going to kill me.


Jenny slumped in her seat like a balloon that had just been deflated.


“I will tell you this,” Catherine offered her a crumb of information as a consolation. “If I do have someone in my life … and I’m admitting nothing … I would choose him any day, over that muscle bound actor you liked so much in that movie, ‘Commando.’ What you see in those body builders, I’ll never know.”


Hey … he was sexy!” Jenny protested. “I’d go out with him any time.”


Catherine rolled her eyes again and laughed. “If you say so, Jen. Personally, I don’t think I would go anywhere with him if my life depended on it.”


She placed a five dollar tip for the waitress under her water glass. As she rose to leave, she dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table. Kissing Jenny on the top of the head, she sweetly said, “Thanks for having lunch with me, Jen. It’s my treat.”


Sitting alone at the table, Jenny popped one last ketchup drenched French fry into her mouth, picked up the money, and muttered. “That’s what I get for being best friends with a lawyer.”







Illustrations supplied by the author





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