After "No Way Down" DRAFT

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Zara
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Re: After "No Way Down" DRAFT

Post by Zara »

~
The only things I would change are the words "enough" and "troubles." Make it "trouble," and make the phrasing read, "well enough," and the line runs perfectly smooth.

~*~

Isaac pressed his palms together, looking up at Catherine. He said, "Would you tell him that Lucy needs a friend right now? One she already trusts. And tell him a friend of Jason Walker needs some answers...if I'm gonna be much help in the days ahead." Calm as can be, he concluded, "Word on the street says there's a storm brewing. And I think it's aimed in Vincent's direction."
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Re: After "No Way Down" DRAFT

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~*~

Catherine grinned, first inwardly and then openly, listening to Isaac’s cautious pace following her own brisk gait. And finally took pity of him, so fiercely determined to not ask questions, but so obviously devoured by a nagging, mounting curiosity. Let alone by a wary alertness that made him start at every unusual noise. That is, practically each one of the countless sounds that punctuated the quiet of the late hour in the unlit surroundings. When the dark, narrow path widened enough to allow her friend to walk beside her, she smiled up to him and said “Yes, Central Park is also this wild, yes, I’ve been here at night before, and no, I’ve not lost my mind.”


--

or the scene before is too short to change scene already?
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Zara
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Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 5:53 am

Re: After "No Way Down" DRAFT

Post by Zara »

"Uh-huh," Isaac said from behind her. "Cathy, you're a strong fighter, but there's two kinds of people come to places like this at night: predators and prey. And it's...bad...when the two happen to meet in the dark. You can think you're one thing, but you find out at the worst possible moment that you're wrong." He sounded worried. Which was not Isaac's usual frame of mind.
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