Unbreakable by Barbara Handshy Anderson (Section 8)

As time passed, Catherine slowly began to get stronger. In the beginning, with help, she could walk only a few steps before needing to rest. Gradually she could walk around the bed and then she was walking around the room.

In the evening Vincent would come and watch over her and read to her. Ever so gradually, Vincent began to feel the connection between himself and Catherine growing stronger. Imperceptibly at first. But he slowly realized that he could feel it when she was happy or frustrated. His hope soared when he began to feel when she wanted him to come and read to her. How he ached to hold her in his arms. But he knew he had to be patient. He didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize their fragile new bond.

One morning shorty after Catherine woke up, a stranger came into the room carrying a pot of hot water. He smiled and said, “Vincent wanted me to ask if you needed anything. Do you need anything?”

Catherine shook her head. He looked so familiar … and yet she couldn’t quite place him.

He smiled back and said, “You don’t recognize me do you? That’s okay, I was only 10 years old the last time you saw me. I’m Geoffrey.”

Just then the 10 year old version of Geoffrey came running into the room. “Da..ad! Why are you doing my chores? I wanted to bring Catherine her hot water. That’s my job,” he exclaimed as he wrestled the pot of water from “old” Geoffrey’s hands.

“Old Geoffrey” laughed and tousled the boy’s hair. “I see you’ve met my son, Geoffrey,” he said to Catherine. “It seems he has taken a liking to you.”

He then said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to see you sooner. I had a temporary job up top and the pay was really good. Well, I will let you rest, Catherine. I’m really glad you’re back. I hope you get well soon.”

And then old Geoffrey and young Geoffrey turned and left the chamber together hand in hand.

Catherine sat there in stunned silence. She felt as if she had just been shaken out of a sound sleep. She was dizzy and disoriented. She looked around her and wasn’t sure any more if this actually was a dream. She began looking at everything and touching her surroundings. Everything seemed too real … more real than any dream.

How is it that I can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is a dream? she asked herself. If this is real, then how did I get here? What happened to me? Why can’t I speak?

She got out of bed and approached the entry to the chamber. She hadn’t ventured past the door since her arrival … she wasn’t sure how long it had been.

If this is real, if I am truly in the tunnels, then there is one place I can to go to know for sure. She slipped into the outer passage and quietly made her way to the one place she had longed to go for years. It was the one place where she always found peace.

Mary was flustered. She had woken up late and everything had gone wrong this morning. One after the other the children had needed her for some emergency or another. By the time she arrived at Catherine’s chamber it was more than an hour past her usual time.

Entering the chamber she said, “Vincent, Catherine, I am so sorry for being so late. Not one blessed thing has gone …” As she looked around the room, Mary suddenly realized that she was talking to herself. “Catherine? Vincent?” She thought for a moment and turned and headed for Vincent’s chamber.

Vincent was sitting quietly in his own chamber writing in his journal when he heard Mary calling him. He was nearly to the entrance when she came bustling in.

She nearly ran into him before she stopped. Looking up she said, “OH, Oh, you startled me, Vincent. I’m just looking for Catherine. Is she here with you?”

“No, Mary. Isn’t she in her chamber? She was sleeping when I left her there an hour ago,” Vincent replied sounding a little concerned.

“Oh dear,” she said. “I’m not sure where to look for her. She can’t have gone far, Vincent. Do you have any idea where she might be?”

Vincent took Mary by the arm and said, “I’m sure you are right, Mary, she is probably nearby. Come with me.” He steered her to Father’s chamber trying to hide his own concerns. It wouldn’t do to have Mary any more worried than she already was.

Entering Father’s chamber, they both looked around, hoping to find her there having a visit with Father. Father looked up from the book he was reading to find them peering at him. Looking over the top of his glasses he asked, “Yes? What can I do for you two? You look as if you have lost something.”

Mary spoke up. “Yes, Father. I guess in a way, we have,” she said wringing her hands.

“Father,” Vincent said calmly, “we are looking for Catherine. Has she passed this way by chance?”

Father carefully put his book down and removed his glasses. “Are you telling me that you two have misplaced Catherine?” he asked incredulously. “How in Heaven’s name have you managed to do that?”

Mary sounded near tears when she said, “Ohhhhh, ooohhhhhh, I’m sorry, Father. I woke up late and the children needed me and nothing has seemed to go right at all this morning.”

Vincent put a protective arm around Mary’s shoulder. “Mary, it’s all right.” He spoke softly. “Catherine can’t have gone far. We know she tires easily, so all we have to do is put word out on the pipes for everyone to keep an eye out for her and she will be back where she belongs in no time. There is no reason to worry.”

Father was not convinced. “It isn’t that simple, Vincent! How can you be so cavalier about this? Catherine can’t just be left to wander alone! There are a lot of dangerous passages down here! She could get lost or ... or ... or … worse! She is in a very delicate state. How can you even think …”

“FATHER!!!” Vincent’s booming voice stopped Father’s blustering instantly. Lowering his voice, he turned to Mary and said, “Mary, I want you to go into Catherine’s chamber and sit down and have yourself a cup of tea. Wait there in case she returns. You have been working much too hard and you need to let me take care of this. And stop worrying.”

Mary nodded obediently through her tears and quietly left the room. When she was out of earshot Vincent turned to Father.

“Father, how could you do that?” Vincent asked. “Can’t you see how upset Mary is already? She can’t be everywhere at once. Going on like that only made her feel worse. It isn’t her fault. If Catherine is well enough to go wandering off, then it’s a testament to how well she is doing under Mary’s care.”

“I doubt if she is lost, Father,” Vincent replied. “You seem to forget that Catherine has spent the last 25 years wandering these tunnels in her dreams. It’s possible that she knows them even better than most of us who live here. But if she is lost, losing our heads is not going to help the situation. Now I am going to go look for her, and I don’t want you to speak to Mary unless you can be civil, calm, and reassuring.”

After Vincent left Father’s chamber, Father huffed and puffed for a little while. He did not enjoy being scolded by his son. But after thinking about it for a while, he came to the conclusion that Vincent was right and he had been wrong. That realization alone was a difficult pill to swallow. But swallow it he did, along with his pride, as he sought Mary out to ask her forgiveness and to keep her company while they waited for word from Vincent.

Vincent headed for the pipe chamber to ask Pascal to put the word out on the pipes that Catherine had gone for a walk in the tunnels and for anyone who sees her to send word on the pipes. Having everyone in a panic was the last thing Vincent wanted.

From the pipe chamber, Vincent found a quiet spot to try and feel the fragile connection he had with Catherine. If she was in any distress, he felt sure he would know.

Catherine was confident that she knew the way. The tunnels were old friends to her. They had been her constant refuge over the years. Her dreams had become almost as real to her as her real life. Now she wasn’t sure if that had been a good thing. Thinking she heard someone coming down the tunnel, she ducked into a nearby crevice. She had learned over the years where all of the good hiding places were along the tunnel walls so that she was able to stay undetected in her dreams.

As she continued on her way, she eventually heard it, the sound of the waterfalls. Catherine had no idea how many times over the years she had come here in her dreams to rest from the cares of the day. As she came out of the tunnel into the huge cavern called the Chamber of the Falls, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

That’s when Vincent knew. There she is. Of course that’s where she went. I should have known, he thought as he headed for the falls.

Catherine found her favorite vantage point and made herself comfortable. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until she sat down. She could feel the slight breeze that flowed through the chamber on her face and the mist from the falls on her skin. She continued to breathe deeply as if she was trying to gain sustenance from the very air.

Stepping into the chamber, Vincent spotted her in the same place he had seen her “ghost” on previous occasions. She was sitting with her back against the wall. Her eyes were closed and she looked … content. After watching her for a minute or two, he realized that she must have fallen asleep.

She must be exhausted after that walk, he thought. He decided to let her rest and made himself comfortable. He sat near her, but far enough so that he wouldn’t frighten her when she awoke.

As he sat there next to the woman that he had loved for so long, he sighed. The ache of having her so near, and yet not being able to touch her was taking its toll on him.

What can I do? he wondered. What can I do to help her find her way back to me? And then he thought, What if this is it? What if this is all there ever is? What if she never recovers any more than this? Can I accept being this close to her and never being able to touch her?

The questions weighed heavily on his heart. How he longed to hold her in his arms. How he ached to feel her heart beating next to his. The longing sometimes caused him physical pain.

And then he concluded, Catherine has spent the last 25 years protecting me, protecting us and providing for us without asking anything in return, without ever expecting anything in return. Can I do any less for her now? After all, this is more than I ever thought there would be, more than I ever thought there could be.

Turning to look at her, he realized that she had woken up and was watching him. As soon as he looked at her he could see the fear in her eyes.

“Catherine,” he said, “I know you aren’t afraid of me. I know that you love me. And yet when I see the fear in your eyes … it’s like a knife in my heart.”

She closed her eyes and took a breath. When she opened her eyes again he didn’t see the fear anymore. What he saw in her eyes was … sadness, doubt and … longing? Was he really seeing longing in her eyes? Or was it just his own longing reflected back to him? She seemed to be asking him something with her eyes.

She turned away briefly and then turned back. Her eyes seemed to be saying, “I don’t know.”

Then he said, “Catherine, if you are a dream … you are a beautiful dream… After all … ‘All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream’ …”

She dropped her head and smiled a little to herself. Those were the words she had spoken to him the night he found her in the cemetery.

Vincent suggested, “There is only one way to find out, Catherine, if this is real, or if it’s a dream. You must reach out to me. You must touch me. And even if it is a dream, and I disappear … your dreams will bring you back here again. We both know that, don’t we?”

“But if this isn’t a dream,” he continued. “If I am real, then it’s… a gift … and you can stop being afraid… to let me touch you, Catherine.”

He held out his hand to her. “No hopes, no expectations … just this moment and whatever moments there may be after that.” And then he whispered, “Accept the gift, Catherine.”

She stared at him for what felt like an eternity. But Vincent was determined not to give up on her. She nodded ever so slightly and she silently repeated his words to herself, Accept the gift, Catherine … Accept … the … gift. And finally she took a deep breath and slipped her hand into his and held it tight. They both exhaled at the same time. She leaned toward him and lay her head against his chest. Vincent was almost overcome with relief and love as he put his other arm around her and gently pulled her closer.

Mary and Father both breathed a sigh of relief when word had come on the pipes that Vincent had found Catherine at the falls.

Catherine and Vincent stayed there, wrapped in each other’s arms for a long time. As Vincent held her close, Catherine drifted into a light sleep and Vincent heard her whisper, “Accept the gift … accept the gift.” When he heard her speak in her sleep his heart swelled with love and gratitude, he held her a little tighter and lightly kissed her on top of the head.

The day Catherine wandered to the falls marked a change in the routine that had surrounded her. She and Vincent began spending more and more time together. They would go for long walks, visiting the places Catherine had once loved. They would watch the sunrise and star gaze at the mirror pool. Vincent would read to her at the waterfall. It was a time filled with sweetness and healing for them both. Sometimes, resting in Vincent’s arms while he was reading, Catherine would become lost in the sound of his voice and it felt as if they had never been apart.

As Catherine and Vincent spent more time together, the burden on Mary became less and less. Catherine steadily recovered and became more independent and able to care for herself. She became more involved in life in the community, sitting in on classes that Vincent taught and playing games with the children. She even found herself helping William in the kitchen. To an outsider they might think she had completely recovered, until it became obvious that she still could not speak. Her only form of communication was with paper and a pen.

One morning as she was just waking up, young Geoffrey arrived with the hot water for her morning tea.

“Good morning, Catherine,” he said smiling. After he poured the water for her, he reached into his sweater and pulled out a lovely orange and white candle. Handing it to her he said, “This is for you, Catherine. Do you know what it’s for?”

Catherine looked very surprised and very pleased. She closed her eyes as she savored the sweetness of the memory the candle invoked. She reached for her pad of paper pen that she kept on her night table, and wrote, “Winterfest?”

Geoffrey could hardly contain his excitement, “Yes, Winterfest. Have you ever been to Winterfest, Catherine?” he asked.

Catherine nodded and wrote, “Yes, once, a very long time ago.” Her eyes sparkled as she remembered how she had danced with Vincent.

Geoffrey overflowed with enthusiasm. “It’s so much fun. All of our old friends that live above come home. And the helpers come too. And William makes cookies and pies. I can’t wait. Jacob will come too. He hasn’t visited for a long time. Do you know Jacob? He always tells us stories of his adventures up top. Sometimes at Winterfest Jacob even lets me beat him at Chess. I know you will love it, Catherine. You are coming aren’t you?”

Catherine smiled again and kissed Geoffrey on the cheek. “Yes, thank you, Geoffrey,” she wrote before he left the room.

Catherine sat on the edge of the bed holding the candle in her hand and looking at it in wonder.

Winterfest? How long have I been here? she wondered. She realized that in all the time she had been here she had not marked the time. She had just focused on each day as it came and trying to get well. As she excitedly anticipated attending Winterfest, she heard Geoffrey’s voice echo in her mind, “All of our old friends that live above come home.”

Then she recalled Jacob’s voice saying, “… this isn’t her home! She doesn’t belong here! …” and she felt a shadow appear and slowly spread across her heart. She recalled the first day she had woken up here. She had thought it was a dream. Now she was sure that it wasn’t. Vincent and Jake had argued about her.

Jake’s words came back, ringing in her mind, “Dad, this isn’t her home! She doesn’t belong here! …” he had said. “You know how I feel about her! If she is here in the tunnels … I can’t be!"

Catherine had not discerned Vincent’s words, but she had heard the desperation and pleading in his voice.

And then Jake’s angry reply, “SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER! She has never … been … my mother! I don’t know her! I don’t want to know her! She walked away and left us behind! If you choose HER … If she stays here … I don’t see how I can be in your life!”

Catherine had watched Vincent in recent weeks when he thought she was sleeping. She had wondered what the look of sadness on his face was. Now she understood.

How could I have been so thoughtless? How could I have been so stupid? she asked herself. How could I have been so blind? And she realized her time in the tunnels was coming to a close.

Vincent was in the middle of teaching a literature class with some of the older children when he felt it; a shadow that spread across his heart like a storm cloud that blows across the summer sky obscuring the sun. His heart felt cold when it had been beautifully warm only a moment before. As soon as the class ended, Vincent sought Catherine out.

Vincent walked into Catherine’s chamber to find her packing her duffle bag. He stood in the entryway watching her in silence. She wasn’t aware of his presence until she turned.

As she turned around she saw the sadness in his eyes and on his face. He didn’t need to speak for her to know what he was thinking.

“I have stayed here too long. I’m recovered. It’s time for me to go back above,” she wrote.

Vincent shook his head. “Catherine, how can you say that? You aren’t completely recovered. You still can’t speak. You should stay here.”

“I may never be able to speak,” she wrote. “I can’t stay here forever. We both know that I don’t belong here.”

“Why do you say that, Catherine? Has someone made you feel unwelcome?” he asked.

“No. Everyone here is wonderful. But Jake was right when he said that I don’t belong here and that this isn’t my home. This isn’t my home. It’s his home. He belongs here,” she wrote.

Vincent nodded, now he understood. “I didn’t know if you remembered that. You were very ill that day …. You heard our argument?”

“But why are you leaving now? Yesterday everything was fine,” Vincent asked. “What is different today, Catherine?”

Catherine walked over to her nightstand and picked up the Winterfest candle. She sat on the edge of the bed and held it gently in her hands. Vincent came and sat next to her. She handed it to him and wrote, “Has Jake ever missed a Winterfest?”

He couldn’t hide the pain in his eyes and in his voice as he whispered, “No, never.”

Vincent agreed. “Jacob is very hurt, and very angry, Catherine. I don’t know if he will come, even if you leave,” he said.

Catherine nodded and wrote, “But I can’t be the reason he stays away. Do you understand?”

She nodded and smiled wistfully as she wrote, “I’ve dreamed of Winterfest and dancing with you to the music in the wind.”

Catherine looked at him askance. It was a look that seemed to ask, “How could you know that?”

Vincent realized he had revealed something, he had not told her before. He decided that she should know.

“One year,” Vincent began, “14 or 15 years ago, Pascal, Mouse, Jacob, and I went down to the Great Hall to begin the preparations for Winterfest. We discovered you there.”

Catherine was listening with interest, so Vincent continued with a faraway look in his eyes, “There was one candle burning in the room. It cast a shadow on the wall that looked like someone dancing. And then we looked down to the bottom of the stairs and there you were … you were wearing a long white gown.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes. I quietly descended the stairs and stood in the middle of the room and watched you. Your eyes were closed and you looked so serenely beautiful and happy as you spun and swayed around the room. You took my breath away. And then you opened your eyes. You had that same look of fear in your eyes that I have seen in your eyes here. I couldn’t help myself … I reached to touch your face … and then you …” His voice trailed off.

Catherine touched his arm to bring him back from his reverie and wrote, “And then I woke up.”

Catherine was very still as she absorbed the revelation. She wrote, “I thought that it was a dream.”

“Yes, Catherine … back then we thought you were a ghost. But I believe now that you were … dreaming,” he said.

She wrote, “When you told me that my ‘spirit had walked these tunnels for years’ that is what you meant?”

He nodded, “Yes, Catherine.” As soon as he said it, he felt the connection between them vanish, as if she were shutting him out again. He looked at her closely and asked, “Catherine, are you all right?”

She nodded her head and wrote, “I tried to control my emotions, but when I slept, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t mean to cause you any more pain. I’m sorry. I thought they were only dreams.”

“No, Catherine, it didn’t cause me pain,” he insisted. “I found it … comforting … It made me feel as if … you weren’t completely lost to me … as if … death … had no dominion,” he explained.

Catherine reached for his hand and he drew her close. She didn’t resist. And there it was again, their connection. The momentary loss had frightened him, but he chose not to speak of it. He didn’t want to upset her any further.

“I will send word to Peter that you will be returning above. He will need to send down some warm clothes and a coat for you. When will you leave?” he asked.

She sighed heavily, but she didn’t respond. She didn’t want to relinquish the comfort of his arms to find her pen.

The next morning Vincent awoke to find Father standing above him. He was startled and jumped up quickly.

“I’m sorry, Father. Have I overslept?” Vincent asked apologetically. “I will get to my class right away.”

Father reached out and placed his hand on Vincent’s shoulder and said, “My dear boy, it’s Saturday. You most certainly have not overslept, nor are you late for your class.”

Still a little bleary-eyed, Vincent looked up at Father and could see that he was smiling. Vincent chuckled a little and said, “For a moment there, Father, I felt like I was 16 again. I find it amusing that I am 60 years old and you still refer to me as ‘my dear boy’?”

Father laughed too. “16 or 60, Vincent, it makes no difference. You will always be ‘my dear boy’. You see at my age it’s all about perspective. Compared to me, Vincent, you are a boy.”

Vincent smiled and asked, “Then may I ask, Father, what brings you here at such an hour? What can I do for you?”

“I received this from above this morning,” Father said, handing an envelope to Vincent.

“It’s from Diana Bennett. She would like to come and speak with Catherine about the investigation,” Vincent said.

“Diana Bennett,” Father was a bit surprised to hear the name. “She hasn’t been here in many years. How did she know that Catherine was here?”

“I’m not sure. The investigation surrounding Catherine was reopened when she returned. Perhaps Joe told her that she was in hiding and she assumed the rest,” Vincent replied.

Father was a bit agitated. “Are you telling me that Joe Maxwell knows that Catherine is here as well?” he asked.

“Father, Joe is Jacob’s father-in-law. He is Catherine’s lawyer and her friend. Joe and Jenny were instrumental in helping me to see Catherine in the hospital. They can be trusted,” Vincent explained. “But to answer your question, no, they do not know where Catherine is. However they do know that she is with me and that she is safe. Peter is keeping them apprised of Catherine’s recovery from the weekly updates I have been sending him. In return, they have said they will let me know if they hear anything from Jacob and Rebecka.”

“Have they?” Father asked in earnest. “Have they heard from young Jacob and Rebecka?”

Vincent shook his head and looked to the ceiling as if he was sending his heartaches heavenward. “No, Father, they haven’t heard from them either. It has been nearly 4 months.”

“Do you believe they are all right, Vincent?” Father asked. “Is there anything we can do?”

Vincent shook his head. “No, Father, there is nothing we can do,” he answered. “Jacob needs to work this out on his own. If he were in any real trouble, I feel sure that I would know.”

Father paced an affectionate hand on Vincent’s shoulder and squeezed. “And what about Diana? Does Catherine know about her?”

“You seem hesitant about this interview, Vincent. You haven’t told her about Diana. Can you tell me why?” Father asked.

Vincent breathed deeply before speaking. “Oh, Father. I don’t know why. Several reasons, I suppose. Father, the connection I have with Catherine right now … it feels so … fragile. It’s very painful for her to be reminded of those events. It’s painful for me as well. But for her … Father … for her it’s as if she puts a wall up to shield herself and me from the pain that those memories invoke. And when she does that, our connection … is broken … I can see how much pain she is in … but I have no sense of her at all. She becomes lost and alone in that sea of pain and I can’t reach her. It frightens me, Father. I witnessed it … the night before her aneurysm ruptured, but I couldn’t help her. I believe it nearly killed her, Father.”

Father asked, “And you’re afraid that if Diana comes here to speak with her about the investigation that …?”

Vincent finished the thought, “… that it might happen again. That it might carry Catherine away and I will lose her for good.”

“The surgeon assured Peter that the aneurysms have been repaired. I don’t think it will happen again. The stress she was under could have contributed, Vincent. But I don’t think you need to worry about any ruptures,” Father explained.

Vincent nodded. “Well then, I suppose I should let Catherine be the one to decide if she is ready to speak with Diana.”

Father squeezed Vincent’s shoulder again. Vincent reached up to grasp Father’s reassuring hand.

Vincent dressed and headed for Catherine’s chamber. He could still feel the shadow on his heart that had been hovering there since the day before. He stood in the entrance watching her. He didn’t want to let her leave. He wanted to keep her close so he could be sure she was safe. But he knew that wasn’t possible.

She turned and smiled at Vincent and he felt the shadow lift a little. She walked directly into his arms. She fit so perfectly there. It was as if his arms were custom made to be wrapped around just her. He had only ever felt truly whole when she was there in his arms. He heard his own voice echoing in his head, “No hopes, no expectations… just this moment and whatever moments there may be after that .…Accept the gift.”

As they walked into the dining hall, William greeted them. “Good morning you two. You missed the Saturday morning rush. We had waffles, scrambled eggs, and sausage.”

Vincent looked apologetically at Catherine and then back to William. “What have you got left, William? We won’t be picky. Can you manage some toast and tea?”

William looked like he was considering what to feed the late comers. “Hmm,” was all he said as he turned into the kitchen and quickly returned with two piping hot plates of waffles with scrambled eggs and sausage. “It’s your lucky day, Vincent. I had set aside a plate for Catherine, but yours was nearly lost when Mouse came looking for thirds and scraps for that raccoon. I rescued it in the nick of time.”

As he put the plates down on the table, Catherine stood up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He turned bright red and blustered back to the kitchen.

As they finished their breakfast Vincent said, “If you will only be here a few more days Catherine, is there something you would like to do?”

She looked at him thoughtfully. “There is one thing, but I don’t know if it’s possible,” she wrote.

She hesitated and then she wrote, “I would like to dance with you to the music in the wind.”

As he read what she had written, Catherine could see a light come into his eyes and a slow smile appeared across his face. He stood up and went over to William and whispered something in his ear.

William’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and he began bustling about the kitchen. Vincent returned to Catherine and offered her his arm.

Smiling broadly, Catherine took his arm and they were on their way. They were both quiet as they made their way deep into the tunnels to the Great Hall. As they entered the Great Hall at the top of the stairs, the room was pitch black. Vincent placed the torch he was carrying into a sconce at the top of the stairs, “Can I lead you through the darkness, Catherine?” he asked.

Catherine held tight to his hand and thought to herself, There is no darkness, when you’re with me, Vincent.[1]

As if he had read her mind, he embraced her and buried his face in her hair. Then he turned and led her down the stairs. He left her standing in the center of the room while he lit several large candles.

Approaching Catherine, Vincent bowed deeply and held out his hand to her. Catherine was actually nervous as she watched him come toward her and invite her to dance. She curtseyed formally in return and took his hand. As they began to dance around the room they couldn’t take their eyes off of each other and they became oblivious to anything else around them.

Vincent and Catherine had not realized that most of the tunnel children had sensed there was adventure in the air and had followed them at a distance to the Great Hall. Entering the hall as quietly as they could they lined the stairs to watch. They were not prepared for what they witnessed. The room was completely silent, except for the sound of the wind that whistled through the caverns and rattled the doors. The love that Vincent and Catherine had for each other was like an electric charge in the air. The children were mesmerized not only by the sight of Vincent and Catherine, lost in each other as they floated around the dance floor, but also by the shadows that seemed to have taken on a life of their own as they danced all over the walls of the room. It was as if they were watching something magical that could only exist in a dream or in one of Father’s stories.

Vincent and Catherine had no idea how long they had danced. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. But the spell was broken when the wind momentarily ceased and one of the children sneezed at the same time. In the silence all of the children turned accusingly toward the culprit who had broken the spell. When they looked back they realized they had been discovered.

“Children,” Vincent tried to sound as stern as possible, “All of you come down here at once!”

Vincent looked at Catherine apologetically and realized she was trying to suppress a smile. But her twinkling eyes betrayed her. She buried her face in his chest to hide her amusement from the children.

As Vincent pretended to console Catherine, he scolded the children in his best imitation of Father. “Children, what you have done here is very serious. You know how important privacy is in our community and that spying on others is completely unacceptable. Now what have you to say for yourselves?”

The children hung their heads in shame. Young Geoffrey stepped forward. “We’re sorry, Vincent. I’m sorry, Catherine … it’s all my fault … I’m the one who brought them here.”

Geoffrey’s apology was echoed by all of the children. And they stood there waiting for Vincent to decide what their punishment would be.

“Catherine, these children need to be punished for what they have done,” Vincent continued in a serious tone. “What do you think their punishment should be?”

Catherine felt that she had composed herself enough to maintain a serious face, but Vincent could still see the twinkling in her eyes. She looked over all of the children as if she was trying to decide what to do with them. She reached into her pocket, pulled out her small notepad and pen and began to write. She then handed it to Vincent.

As Vincent read her note, he began to nod. “Hmmm … yes, yes, Catherine, I believe that this punishment definitely fits the crime.”

Then turning to the children he said, “Catherine and I have decided that since you are all so interested in ballroom dancing, you are hereby sentenced to join with us in the dancing until we are satisfied that you know how to do it properly.”

Catherine could no longer contain her amusement. For a moment the children looked confused. Why is Catherine smiling? they wondered. And then the girls began to laugh, and rushed forward to put their arms around her. At the same time Vincent observed that the boys were standing stock still with a look of horror on all of their faces.

Gathering the children around him Vincent explained, “A long time ago, in this very hall, Catherine taught me that there is music in the wind if only you know how to listen.[2] I want all of you to close your eyes and listen very carefully. When you think you can hear the music and the rhythm in the wind, I want you to find a partner and go stand on the dance floor. Slowly, two by two, the children obeyed. Soon Vincent, Catherine, and the children were all dancing about the room. The walls were filled with dancing shadows. Presently Catherine observed one of the boys accidently step on his partner’s toes, for which he was promptly punished with a swift kick in the shins. Catherine could not contain her laughter.

When Vincent heard her laughing his heart skipped a beat. It was the first time in four months that he had heard Catherine make any sound at all except for a couple of times when she had spoken in her sleep. She laughed as the children danced and then she looked at him with a look of pure joy and then buried her face in his chest. When she did that, he could feel her laughter vibrating through him. It had been a lifetime since he had felt anything like it.

After what seemed like an appropriate amount of time Vincent gathered the children around him again. Once again he attempted his best impersonation of Father. “It is getting close to lunch time and Mary and William will be wondering what has become of all of you. I hope that you have all learned a valuable lesson here this morning. Now all of you go back to the living quarters. And just to show that you have all been forgiven, we will not speak of this unfortunate incident again. Is that understood?”

The children all agreed and tumbled up the stairs and out the door laughing and chattering the whole way.

Vincent turned to Catherine and said, “I’m sorry, Catherine. I don’t think that was quite what you had in mind.”

After leaving the Great Hall, Vincent and Catherine headed to the Chamber of the Falls, where William had left them a picnic lunch. After refreshing themselves with the wonderful repast that William had prepared for them, they rested in each other’s arms and listened to the sound of the falls.

It had been such a wonderful morning that Vincent was reluctant to let it end. But he knew he could not put it off any longer. He took a deep breath and asked, “Catherine, do you know who Diana Bennett is?”

“Back in 1989 Diana was the detective that was working with Joe Maxwell to solve your murder. It was Diana who shot and killed Gabriel,” Vincent said.

Catherine breathed in sharply at the mention of Gabriel’s name. She didn’t like to think about that time in her life. She closed her eyes and in her mind’s eye she could see … a woman coming out of a hole in the wall … a gunshot from somewhere … She picked up her pen and wrote, “Long red hair?”

Vincent explained, “I have received word from Diana that she would like to come and speak with you regarding the investigation. Would that be all right with you?”

Catherine was confused. She began to write, “Here? In the tunnels? How does she know I’m …?” Then she remembered something else … about the woman. Then she wrote, “That day, she whispered your name. You knew her?”

Vincent was hesitant to tell her. He knew that speaking of those days caused her great pain. Remembering that time in his life was painful for Vincent as well.

Vincent’s hesitation made Catherine wonder if there were things that he didn’t want her to know. Things he was afraid might hurt her.

He began, “She was investigating your death ... your murder.” He stood and began pacing a little. “She found evidence of me … inscriptions in your books … the poetry I used to read to you. Somehow she knew where to find me. She waited … in the cemetery until …” He paused. Remembering the pain, he turned away from her.

“Are you all right?” she wrote. “You don’t have to tell me, if it causes you pain.” His back was turned to her so she approached him and put her hand on his shoulder. When he turned, she showed him what she had written.

He took her hand in his and as they walked back to the stone bench and sat down.

“I need to tell you, Catherine,” he explained. “You should know.” He paused for a moment and then said, “The night that Elliot died … the night that Gabriel killed him. Elliot nearly betrayed me, Catherine. And then … at the last moment … he changed his mind. He sacrificed his life to save mine. After the explosion … I was badly injured … I could only think of you … if I was going to die … I wanted to be with you, to be … near you. So I managed to make my way to the cemetery. I collapsed next to your headstone.”

Vincent was thoughtful for a moment and then continued, “The next thing I remember is waking up three days later in Diana’s apartment. She had cleaned and bandaged my wounds. She had watched over me and kept me safe. I don’t know what would have happened to me if she hadn’t … and then …”

He recalled with horror what had happened when Gabriel had him. “She led me to Jacob and then she shot … she killed Gabriel. She saved us.”

Catherine could see his pain as he recalled the horror that Gabriel had been. She could see something else too.

“She loved you,” she wrote. It was a statement, not a question. Something in her knew.

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head a little. She wrote, “You can tell me. It’s fine.”

He could see in her eyes that she was telling the truth. He could feel that she was telling the truth.

“After you died, Catherine, I was in such pain. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. She helped me get through it all. After it was all over, Diana became a helper and a part of us here. She was a faithful friend. She was so kind to me, to Jacob, to everyone. When I finally came out of the fog of pain, I began to realize that she did love me. But I had nothing but friendship to offer her. It became a wedge between us. Eventually it destroyed our friendship.”

Catherine did not reply. Vincent couldn’t read her expression. “What are you thinking, Catherine?” he asked.

Vincent shook his head. She could see by the expression on his face that he wasn’t sure what she meant. So she wrote, “If you loved her.”

“I wanted you to have love, Vincent,” she wrote. “I wanted you to have everything.”

Vincent was speechless. Looking into her eyes he finally spoke. “I couldn’t love her, Catherine. How could I? When you still lived?”

She didn’t understand what he meant. She wrote, “But you didn’t know that. You believed I was dead.”

He clarified, “Yes, but you did still live, Catherine. You lived here,” he said, putting his hands over his heart. “You lived in my dreams. You lived in Jacob. I could see you every time I looked at him. Your spirit walked these halls. The ghost of our love lingered in every corner of these tunnels.”

Vincent sighed. “Perhaps there are people who are able to love more than once. But I realized a long time ago, Catherine, that my heart was only made … I was only made … to love … you.”

They sat quietly for a while and then he asked, “Catherine? ... Did you … have anyone? … Did you have … another love?”

She smiled at him softly and shook her head. “There was only you, Vincent,” she wrote, “and my dreams of you.”

“You look tired, Catherine. I hope we didn’t overdo it. Are you all right?” Vincent asked.

Catherine smiled and leaned against him as she wrote, “I am tired. But I’m fine. It’s been a beautiful day, Vincent. Thank you.”

Vincent smiled and chuckled, “I don’t think the children will soon forget that dancing lesson.”

The memory of the incident made her smile. “I think I will lie down for a while,” she wrote.

“Catherine,” Vincent asked, “what should I tell Diana? I need to send her a reply.”

Catherine’s smile faded a little. She thought for a moment and then she nodded. “Tell her she can come,” she wrote.

“I will send her a message right away. I will tell her to come this evening. That will give you time to recover from our adventure,” Vincent said.

She smiled and nodded in agreement. They embraced one more time before going their separate ways.

Even though it was early in the afternoon, Catherine fell asleep quickly. She had not realized how exhausted she was. It had been a perfect day. She could feel herself floating in Vincent’s arms as she went to sleep.

When Catherine woke up several hours later there was a rose on her nightstand and a note from Vincent that read: Dearest Catherine, I have gone to the tunnel entrance to escort Diana down. When you wake, please join us in my chambers. –Sleep well, Vincent

Catherine held the rose and drank in its fragrance. She wasn’t looking forward to this meeting. But she knew that sooner or later she would have to face her life again. It might as well be now.

Catherine entered Vincent’s chamber. The lights were on and the candles were lit, but Vincent and Diana had not yet arrived. She decided she would make herself comfortable and wait for them. In the quiet of the room, she began to look around. She could hear echoes of his voice in her memories: The first time she heard Vincent’s voice, “You’re safe. You’re safe now …. No one will hurt you. You’re safe here.”[3] She could hear his encouraging words that had given her strength after she was attacked. “You have the strength, Catherine. You do. I know you.” She remembered the pain in his voice when she had doubted him, “What should I tell you? That I am not this shadow, this mad monster that you hunt. Must you hear the words before you trust?”[4]

She remembered the love and enchantment in his voice whenever he had read to her. And she remembered the last day. The day before her world went spinning out of control. The day before her life came to an end. She remembered the grief in his voice at the loss of their special bond, the love and concern in his voice as he spoke softly to her, the feeling of his arms around her that last time.

In the quiet, the room felt like a sacred place to her. And then she saw it … on the far side of the chamber. It had a dust cover over it … but Catherine felt sure she knew what it was. She walked over and gently tugged on the cloth. It fell noiselessly to the floor to reveal … yes, she was right … it was the portrait that Kristopher Gentian had painted of them so long ago. She stood staring at it, almost hypnotized by it until she heard their voices.

Turning toward the entrance, Catherine saw Vincent and Diana come in together. They all stood looking at each other for a few awkward moments. And then Catherine came toward them and extended her hand to Diana.

Shaking Catherine’s hand, Diana said, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Catherine ... Vincent tells me you have made a remarkable recovery. Are you sure you’re up to this?”

Catherine wrote, “There is only one way to find out.” Catherine looked toward Vincent and smiled.

Catherine thought she recognized Diana. She was sure she had seen her before. As soon as they took their seats she wrote, “I think I know you.”

Catherine wrote, “You were at the Medical Examiner’s Office the day they opened the casket?”

Diana nodded. “Yes, I was called in to consult on one of my old … on your old case.”

“And you were at the shelter? The day that I fell? Were you looking for me?” Catherine wrote.

Diana was hesitant, but answered, “Yes, that was me. I was looking for you. I wanted to ask you some questions. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to see what kind of…” Diana stopped. She wasn’t sure how to say it tactfully.

“You wanted to see what kind of a woman could desert Vincent and her own child?” Catherine wrote.

Catherine wrote, “They never would have been safe with me in their lives. When I thought Vincent was dead because of me, I wanted to die too. If anything had happened to them because of me ….” And then she wrote, “You were involved in the investigation. You met Gabriel. Do you believe I was wrong to believe that?”

Diana candidly said, “No, Catherine. No … you weren’t wrong. That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you today.”

Diana pulled a file folder out of her bag and put it on the table. She reached into it and pulled out a photograph.

As Catherine looked at it, Vincent felt her stiffen with fear and then he felt their connection disappear again. He reached for her hand. She grabbed his hand and held it tight.

There it is, he thought with relief. He silently willed her to stay connected with him. Please don’t cut me off, Catherine, he thought.

Diana asked, “Is this the book that Joe gave you in 1989? And is this the same book that you gave to Joe 4 months ago?”

Catherine nodded. “Please be careful, Diana,” she wrote. “That book has destroyed lives.”

Diana looked a little surprised by Catherine’s concern. Continuing, she said, “Joe told us that you were concerned about that, so we have kept the investigation limited to Greg, Joe, and myself. Between us, we have been able to decipher most of the references in this book. We’ve compiled a list of the contractors, law firms, and financial institutions that this book has led us to. Most of these companies have been shut down by the SEC or the FBI over the years. The rest of them eventually collapsed under the sheer weight of their own greed. The scope of corruption was unbelievable. These people had the financial and political power to destroy anyone they felt threatened by. I believe… actually all three of us believe that if you had resurfaced …. if any of these people had known you were alive … they would have stopped at nothing to destroy you and anyone close to you. They believed they were above the law. Virtually every whistleblower that tried to get out was killed or died under suspicious circumstances, even the ones in Witness Protection.”

Catherine closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her hands were shaking as she wrote, “What has happened to all of them? Are they still out there? Is there still any danger?” Catherine was afraid of what the answer might be, but she had to know.

Vincent had noticed that Catherine’s hand was cold. Her face had become pale and her expression difficult to read. He could feel the storm brewing inside of her. He was getting concerned.

“There was one man who managed to escape the law,” Diana explained. “He got out of his company before it collapsed and they could never prove that he was corrupt. He kept his hands clean and left his partners holding the bag. And he managed to do it while keeping his own fortune intact. He was a ruthless man. Even his own family deserted him in the end. Have you ever heard of Paul Malloy?” she asked.

“If you had asked me a year ago if you might still be in danger, I would have said yes,” Diana said.

“The information in this book would have been a serious threat to him,” Diana said. “He would have done everything in his power to suppress this evidence, to destroy you. But Paul Malloy died last Spring. He was surrounded by the best of everything that money could buy. But in the end, not even all that money could buy him any friends. He was over 90 years old and after all those years there was not one person who cared enough about him to show up at his funeral, not even his family. It was so remarkable, that it was in the papers. No, I don’t think there is any danger, not anymore.”

Vincent breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed Catherine’s hand. When she didn’t respond he turned to her. She was looking curiously at Diana. Almost as if she didn’t quite comprehend what she had said.

It was clear that Diana wasn’t expecting that question. She said, “Uhm, I’m not sure exactly. Why do you ask?” She began looking through the file and pulled out the news clipping about his death. Looking through it she said, “Here it is. He died on April 9^th. Is that important?”

Catherine had a strange expression on her face. “I met Jake on April 10^th,” Catherine wrote.

Diana wasn’t sure what to make of it. “That’s an odd coincidence,” she said.

Just then Catherine heard a faint whisper in her heart that said, “Coincidence is the pseudonym dear God chooses when he wants to remain incognito.” But before she could write it …

Vincent softly said, “I’m not so sure, Diana. You know, Albert Schweitzer once said that ‘Coincidence is the pseudonym dear God chooses when he wants to remain incognito.’ Perhaps it was no coincidence at all.”

Catherine was so stunned to hear those words, the very words she had just heard within herself, come out of Vincent’s mouth. She gazed at him in wonder that he even knew those words.

“There is one more thing I wanted to discuss with you,” Diana said. “Something I thought you should know.” She sounded conflicted about what she was about to say.

Catherine could hear something in her voice, something that warned her to brace herself.

“One of the companies that was implicated by the book was … The Burch Development Corporation,” she said.

Both Catherine and Vincent sat up with a look of disbelief on their faces. Catherine began shaking her head. “That isn’t possible,” she wrote. “Elliott was helping me to decipher it. He gave me credible information.”

“He had to have known that he would be implicated by the book. The information would have destroyed him. Why would he do that?” Diana asked.

Catherine thought back. She thought back to the day that she had gone to Elliott for help. He had been reluctant to help her in the beginning.

“Uuuuuuhhhhh … Nah … This is the last thing that I’m gonna get involved with now.” He had said, refusing at first.

Not being ready to give up she had persisted, “Elliott, could you just …?”

“… just look through it ...” she pleaded. “That’s all I’m asking.”

“Help me to find something to follow up on? … A NAME … A PLACE … A DOLLAR AMOUNT … ANYTHING?” she continued to plead.

He had been powerless to resist her pleas. He finally relented and cancelled his afternoon appointments. Frustrated by his own weakness he said, “You knew I was going to say ‘yes’!

Yes, she had known him. She had known his weakness. She had known that he loved her. She had known that he regretted not choosing her when he had the chance, and that he regretted losing her. She had known that he would do anything to win her back. She had used his love for her to manipulate him into destroying himself. And she had done it, knowing that there was no possibility that he could ever win her love. The sudden revelation of what she had done to him mortified her.

And … there it was! She felt it return, like a flash of lightning. Catherine hadn’t felt it since that day … that last day … at the shelter. The giant reservoir of guilt and pain and emotion that she had suppressed for so many years had returned … looming … threatening to overcome her … to crush her to dust and sweep her away. She bowed her head and put her face in her hands. After a moment she began rubbing her forehead.

Sitting there next to her, Vincent could feel her inner turmoil. He could feel her sadness. He felt the sudden intensity of her pain and then, as if someone had flipped a light switch, he felt her disappear. Their renewed connection was there … and then … it was gone. The sudden emptiness … the sudden coldness … took his breath away.

“Catherine!” he gasped. “Catherine,” he said as he reached to touch her.

As soon as she felt Vincent’s touch she recoiled from it as if it caused her pain. She stood so quickly that she nearly tripped. She looked at him. She shook her head and held up her hands as if to say, “Don’t touch me.”

The look of fear and pain on her face frightened him. “Catherine. What can I do? Don’t shut me out, Catherine. Let me help you,” he pleaded. He watched her take several deep breaths. She stood in front of him trembling, and then a look of extreme fatigue came over her, she came toward him and leaned into his chest. Vincent enveloped her in his arms. He was frightened that he couldn’t feel her pain. But at least she was willing to let him touch her and comfort her.

“Catherine. Oh, Catherine.” Vincent said as they stood there. “I’m sorry, Catherine,” he whispered in her ear. He was silently berating himself for allowing Diana to come.

Diana had witnessed Catherine’s episode. “Vincent, is she all right?” she asked. When they didn’t answer, she stood and said, “I’m sorry, Vincent, Catherine, I think maybe I should go.”

Catherine left the comfort of Vincent’s arms and walked toward Diana, taking her hand, and she shook her head. Catherine grabbed her notepad and pen and sat on the edge of Vincent’s bed.

Looking at the message, Diana asked, “I don’t understand. What are you thanking me for, Catherine?”

Catherine wrote without hesitating, “For coming and telling me that it’s over. And for everything you did for Vincent and Jacob. You risked your own life and you saved theirs. You saved my life too. We would all be dead if you hadn’t…” Her hand shook a little and she hesitated. And then she wrote, “… done what you did.”

Vincent was watching Catherine carefully. He noticed that her hands were shaking. It worried him.

Diana was a little embarrassed and uncomfortable. “I was just doing my job, Catherine.”

Catherine smiled and shook her head and wrote, “No, you weren’t. I saw you come in from the tunnels. Father must have shown you the way. And I heard you whisper Vincent’s name. You did it because you cared.”

When Diana didn’t speak, Catherine continued to write, “Vincent tells me that you were there for him through that terrible time in his life. I can never repay you for that.”

Diana let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh, Catherine!” she said. She sat on the edge of the bed next to Catherine and stared at the floor for a moment.

Then she admitted, “When I first heard that you were alive … I was so angry. I couldn’t understand how you could have done that to Vincent … to Jacob … to Joe. What kind of cold hearted person could walk out on her own child? I wondered how you could have hurt Vincent like that. The pain … nearly killed him. I made sure that Greg put me back on the case just so I could meet you. I wanted to meet “Saint Catherine” that Vincent loved so much that he could never love me.”

Looking Catherine square in the eyes she said, “I wanted to hate you, Catherine.” After a short pause she continued, “And then I saw that video … what Gabriel did to you …”

Catherine flinched at the mention of Gabriel’s name and began to rub the old scar on her wrist.

Diana went on, “But I still didn’t understand … I didn’t understand why you hadn’t gone to him … when it was all over. How you could have deserted your baby…. But the deeper we investigated that book … the more I realized … that you must have known somehow that it wasn’t over. That you would never be safe again… and that they would never be safe … unless you were dead. Your instinct was right, Catherine.”

Watching them both, Vincent was frightened as he watched Catherine react to Diana’s confession. He had seen Catherine like this before. He could see her shaking. He could see the pain in her face and the tears on her cheeks. But he had no sense of her. Their connection was gone. She was using all of her strength to shield him from her pain, but she didn’t realize how much pain it was causing him to be unable to help her.

Diana continued, “But meeting you … here … seeing you both together. I understand now … why he could only love you. You fit together … like two pieces of a puzzle. You complete each other.” She closed her eyes and sighed, “I’m sorry, Catherine. I misjudged you … I terribly misjudged you.”

Still shaking, Catherine reached for Diana’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She was exhausted and weak, but she found the strength to stand up. She walked over to Vincent and placed her hand gently on his cheek and came close and kissed him softly. As she pulled back, their eyes locked.

Something in Vincent’s heart froze when he saw the look in her eyes. He saw resolve. She had made a decision … but what had she decided? He watched her in silence as she left the room.

Continuing to look in the direction Catherine had gone, Vincent said, “No, Diana. She isn’t.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Diana,” Vincent interrupted. “You didn’t do this.” Turning to her he tried to explain, “This is something that she has been … struggling with.”

Continuing he said, “Thank you, Diana, for coming and for being so kind. Catherine is right … what you have done for us … it can never be repaid.”

Diana was increasingly uncomfortable. “I should go, Vincent. Is there someone who can guide me back?”

Vincent nodded and they walked out. After arranging an escort for Diana, he turned toward Catherine’s chamber.

[1] This is a quote from Beauty and the Beast Season 2 Episode 4 “Dead of Winter”

[2] Beauty and the Beast Season 2 Episode 4 “Dead of Winter”

[3] Beauty and the Beast Season 1 Pilot “Once Upon a Time”

[4] Beauty and the Beast Season 1 Episode 2 “Terrible Savior”

[5] Beauty and the Beast Season 3 Episode 1 part 2 “Though Lovers Be Lost”