Chapter 12
COMPROMISE
Sarah woke in the very early morning to find Johner’s hands moving over her. She turned over to face him. "Hey, buddy, what’s going on?" she asked softly.
"I’m rested. I feel fine. I want you." Johner smiled at her and ran his hand down her side. "I love you, Connor. I can’t ever seem to get enough of you. Your body calls me all the time." He began to kiss her neck and shoulders, as far as he could reach; but he was handicapped by his inability to bend over her without pain.
Sarah watched his efforts, and in spite of herself she began to giggle. "Whassamatta, babe? My body may be calling, but you seem to be having a little trouble answering."
He rolled himself onto his back, laughing. "God damn it, Connor! I’m trying to set a mood here! But I can’t do it by myself! Do you want to get laid or don’t you? If you do, you better cooperate."
"Yes, I do. But you not only can’t do it by yourself, you can’t do it at all! You’re not in any shape to do it; for this once, I think you’re going to have to let me. Johner, just lay back, relax and get ready. I’m going to do it this time. All of it."
******
"My God, Connor---are there any other hidden talents you’ve been waiting to spring on me? This one was a big success, I want to tell you that right now! I may just lay here and be worked over every time. I feel like a sultan---‘Here, slave, do me!’" He looked down at her where she lay in the curve of his arm, smiling up at him, and shook his head. "I gotta say you have a real good feel for what makes a man happy."
"We aim to please. Your satisfaction is my satisfaction. It sure was this time, anyway." She stretched luxuriously. "I feel wonderful. I’ve missed you so much, Johner."
"I feel wonderful too, except I’m tired again! Jesus, am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? It’s been three weeks, Connor. When am I going to be OK again? I can’t even make love with you, with you doing all the work, without being laid out by it."
"Johner, you’ve been hurt before, I know you have, I’ve seen the scars. You should know it takes a while to come back. I bet it’ll be another month before you don’t tire easily. You lost a lot of blood, and you had major surgery afterward." She grinned, "And you’re getting old, don’t forget that."
"Ha ha. But speaking of blood, Connor. When I left the hospital I had to sign a lot of papers; different kinds of releases and stuff. One of those papers was very interesting; it was a release of responsibility for a direct blood transfusion, from the ambulance company.
"Now, Connor, I don’t know how many people there were in that ambulance. I wasn’t noticing much. But I’m willing to bet there were two paramedics. There always are. And the only other person there was you, right? Now, I don’t think I’m walking around with one of those paramedics’ blood in me.
"Have I got your blood in my body, Connor? A lot of your blood? I overheard something about blood loss and how near I came to dying when the doctors were talking. Did your blood save my life, Connor?" He looked down at her, a sober expression on his face.
"Yes, they gave you my blood in the ambulance. They told me it probably saved your life. I’m so happy that it happened that way. Do you know how wonderful it feels to know that I had something to do with saving your life? It was like a gift to me from the gods. I was there when you needed me. I’ll never forget it."
"And I’m walking around with your blood in my veins. Well, not walking much yet. But anyway---Connor, I feel different. I’ve got you inside of me. You’re here, in here." And he held up his hands, and looked at them, front and back. "I’ve got you with me, wherever I am, whatever I do. I really, really like that!"
"You didn’t need my blood for that. I’ve been with you all along. I’m always with you. I love you."
His head came down as hers lifted. Their kiss was as tender as any they had ever known. When Johner raised his head at last, he sighed deeply and pulled her closer against him. "How did I ever get this? I don’t deserve it. I’ve spent most of my life being a son of a bitch. I’ve been heartless, and totally selfish, and I’ve treated other people like dogs. And yet this happened to me; this love, this---precious love that you give me. Oh, Connor, I love you---I adore you!"
She sat up and turned to him. "When you talk to me like that, I can’t resist you. I want you. Lie back, sweetheart, I’m about to do it again." She leaned over him to kiss him, and her hands moved over his body with renewed excitement.
********
Johner recovered rapidly, now that he was at home where he was comfortable and happy. As the days passed, and the time drew near for him to go back to work, he began to think about Sarah, and the dangers that they faced daily in their job. His injury had made it very immediate in his mind, and as he thought about the jeopardy she was very often put in, he decided that he needed to talk to her about it. He didn’t think she’d like it, and he was right.
"So what do you want me to do about it? Stay home and clean house? Fuck you!" They were sitting at the kitchen table, just finishing a leisurely Saturday morning breakfast.
"Wait
a minute, wait a minute, don’t get hot, Connor. No one said anything
about your staying home. I just wanted to talk to you about maybe
not taking the most dangerous assignments. You could let some of
the others get in the line of fire once in a while. Anderson’s been
sitting on his ass behind that desk for I don’t know how long. How
come you don’t get any desk work?"
"Because I refuse to do it, dumbhead! Christ, if you think you’re going to chain me to a desk, think again! Anderson likes it; don’t ask me why, I think he’s crazy."
"Maybe he likes being safe in the office, and pulling down the same pay as people who are out there dodging bullets!"
"Maybe he does. That’s his business."
"Jesus Christ, you’re touchy, Connor."
"Johner, I have a large problem with people trying to tell me what to do. I think you know that, or anyway you ought to. Now back off!"
"I can’t back off. Please---please listen a minute! I’m scared for you, Connor. If what happened to me had happened to you, you’d have died. You’re littler than me, and not as tough.
"If you die, Connor, I die too. ---I mean that. I won’t live on without you; not for an hour. You’re my whole life, my whole reason for living. How am I going to stand knowing you’re in danger? How am I going to keep from going nuts? Please, Connor, try not to be mad, so we can talk about this. It’s so important to me; I need to talk to you about it."
She looked at him, saw the pleading
in his face. Her face softened, and she nodded.
"OK, we’ll talk. I won’t be
mad; at least I’ll try. But I can’t see where we can compromise on
this; either I’m out there, or I’m not, and either way one of us
isn’t going to be happy."
"Can we start with this: you won’t go out without me. On any assignment that has any chance of being dangerous, you won’t go alone or with anyone else, you won’t go at all unless I’m with you."
She thought a minute. "OK, I guess I can go along with that; we’re usually together anyway, and I don’t really trust anyone else to back me. All right, I’ll promise that provisionally. We’ll see how it works out. I’ll let you know if I change my mind, before I do anything."
He drew a deep breath. "God! Thank you! That’s going to help me sleep better. Now, can we try another one?"
"---What?" She was suspicious.
"You won’t go out on anything even potentially dangerous without a vest."
She relaxed and smiled. "You’ve got that one. But only if you’ll promise the same; I don’t want another four hours in the waiting room wondering if you’re dead."
"Done! Oh, Connor, thanks. Thanks for keeping your temper and meeting me halfway. I’ll be a whole lot happier with just this much agreement from you." He grinned and looked up at her from under his brows. "Of course, what I’m really aiming for is for you to stay home and clean house."
"As I said before, and with the most
sincere best wishes, ---fuck you."