Chapter 24
BEGINNINGS
In the weeks that followed, Johner found out a lot about the charitable institutions of the Catholic church. His search for the orphanage, which he remembered only vaguely, was not an easy one. The secretary at the local diocese was as helpful as he could be; but the events that interested Johner were nearly fifty years in the past. The church administered many orphanages, foster homes, and rescue facilities, and Johner could tell them neither the year of his stay, nor his full name.
"If you could remember something about the place---was it near the ocean, on the top of a hill, did it have a fence around it---." Father Gallegher waved his hands in an inclusive gesture, "Anything at all, there are a lot of old people in the parish who might remember, if we knew what to ask."
"Nothing, Father." Johner shook his head, then stopped and looked up, "---No, wait, there was a great big tree in front of the building; a really huge tree. I remember the sisters talking about it, they liked it for some reason."
Father
Gallegher’s round face lit with a smile. "Now that’s a clue!
Someone will surely remember that! I’ll put out the word. I
make a lot of visits to old people, and they’ll talk it over among themselves,
too. The grapevine will be busy this week!"
********
Sarah watched Johner’s search with
mixed emotions. One thought kept returning to her: ‘Be careful what
you wish for, you might get it.’ Sometimes the truth hurt, and Johner
had been hurt already almost past bearing. The image of that little
boy standing all alone over his mother’s dead body, waiting in vain for
her to wake, was ever present in her mind.
When she remembered all of what she knew about Johner’s life, and then looked at what he was at the present time, she was overwhelmed with admiration for his strength and courage. How many men could have preserved their souls through his adversities? That his ability to love had survived his life history was a miracle, one for which she thanked the gods. Now she only hoped that the knowledge he was searching for wouldn’t hurt him again. He deserved better of fate, but Sarah’s life experiences made her apprehensive; fate wasn’t always fair.
*******
Johner waited patiently to hear
from Father Gallegher. While he waited, he explored other sources.
He and Sarah spelled each other at the computer, scanning old newspapers,
looking for notice of the long ago death of one obscure woman in a megacity
of many millions. The chances of success were vanishingly small, particularly
since he had no name, but he persevered. He searched the church records
for notice of her funeral. He found someone at the police department
who was willing to search police records for a fee.
Sarah found it difficult to respond positively to the search. "Johner, I wish you the very best success at this project, but I can’t say that I’m hopeful. It just seems like such a long shot. I’m more than willing to help all I can, you know that, Babe, I’ll look at newspapers ‘til I go blind, I’ll help you for the rest of my life if necessary, but I don’t think you’ve got much chance of success. I can’t tell you that I have a positive attitude when I don’t."
"No, you can’t do that. I understand, Connor. You’re going far beyond the call of duty even to help, and I’m grateful for that. I know the chances are that I won’t find it, but I just have to do this. I suppose that eventually I’ll run out of steam, but I haven’t given up yet."
********
When the breakthrough came, it was
from an unbelievable source. John, searching legal records for a
precedent in a child custody case, came upon Johner’s family.
"It’s got to be the one, Mom. Read it and see, but I believe it’s
the one!"
"OK, John, I’ll read it, but we won’t say anything to Johner unless we’re sure. This is just too far out to be true!"
When she had read it, she was convinced that John was right. The circumstance seemed to be exactly right, the time was within the period they had decided was correct. There was no question; Johner had to see this.
She waited for him to get home from the library impatiently, unable to sit still. When he finally opened the back door and walked in, she was pacing the kitchen floor.
"God, I thought you’d never get home!"
"Is something wrong?"
"No, no, nothing wrong---but I’ve got something here that you’ve got to see. John brought it this morning."
"Where is he?" Johner looked around the room.
"He had to go back; he had a class, but he knew you had to see this right away."
"What, for Pete’s sake?"
"Sit down, Johner, and read this" She handed him the big law book. He looked up at her questioningly, but sat down, opened the book to the marked page, and began to read. As his eyes traveled down the page, he stiffened and bent further over the book. "Jesus Christ!" He turned a page. "My God!" He read further. When he finished, he just sat, looking at the book with eyes that didn’t see it. In a minute he looked up. "This is it, babe; it’s got to be it!"
There was a murder of a wife by her husband; the man had been apprehended and had confessed to the murder. There was one child of the marriage, aged four. The body was discovered by a neighbor who had heard a child crying for several hours, and found him sitting by his mother’s body. And finally, in the absence of any known relative, custody of the child was awarded to the Catholic Church, and the child was housed at St Jude’s Orphanage, run by the Little Sisters of Charity. The man’s name was John Reilly, and his wife’s name was Maureen. The child was John Reilly, Jr.
"John found this?"
Sarah laughed. "Can you believe it? He was researching child custody precedents. He was blown away when he read it, and so was I. It’s got to be the right one, doesn’t it? It just has to be."
"I know how to find out."
"How? I’ve been thinking and thinking, trying to think of some way to tie it down, but I can’t. Even if the child was at the orphanage, it doesn’t prove it was you."
"But if the orphanage had a great big tree out front---" Johner grinned at her.
*******
Johner, Sarah and John all went
together to see Father Gallegher, "If you go without me I’ll resign from
the family! I’ll be home this evening. Make an appointment
for then!" John said on the phone when Johner called him in jubilation.
So Johner fixed dinner while they waited for him, and they both pushed
the food around their plates.
"Well, that was a waste of food, but at least it kept me busy for an hour or so." Johner got up and began to scrape the dishes. They worked together to clean up, and they had just finished when John walked in. Johner swept him into a huge hug. "Boy, you can have anything you want. Name it!"
John grinned. "An Alpha Romeo."
Johner grinned back. "I’ve changed my mind."
********
Father Gallegher looked up as he
finished reading. "God was looking over your shoulder, son," he said
to John. "This is taking coincidence to the point of the miraculous!
And God was certainly looking after you, Johner. I’m certain
that you’ve found it; there can’t have been two cases with so many
points of correspondence. But how will you make sure? There’s
really no proof here that this child was you, although I have to say I
believe it was."
Johner smiled. "That’s where you come in, Father. We need for you to find out if St Jude’s Orphanage had a great big tree growing out in front."
"Of course! That’s it!" Father Gallegher reached over and pounded Johner’s shoulder. "That’s it!" His grin was huge. "I’m a detective story addict, and this is as good as anything I’ve read. And I haven’t had such a good time since the Bishop had shingles!" His round face turned red as he bubbled with laughter.
"I’ll get right on it, Johner. No problem, now that we have some facts to go on! I should have something for you in a couple of days at most. Now, let’s all have a cup of tea. Mrs. Flaherty made oatmeal cookies today, and I’ve already had my quota, but she can’t refuse to put some out for company!"
*******
St. Jude’s Orphanage was long gone,
but it had had a big tree out in front. The tree had held the record
for the biggest tree in the state of some variety which the old man
who verified the facts couldn’t remember, but it was "A big tree,
yessir, a great big tree! The nuns took good care of that tree, yessir!
They was damn proud of it!"
Johner was satisfied, as was Father Gallegher. They sat over teacups and cookies in the rectory study, talking over their long search.
"Well, Johner, you’ve found what you were looking for. Now that you have, how do you feel about it?"
"I don’t know exactly. I guess I’m glad on the whole to know, in spite of the fact that my father wasn’t exactly a model parent or a great human being. Murder isn’t something that you want to have in your family tree; but now at least I’ve got a family tree---of sorts, anyway."
To Sarah he revealed more of what
he felt. As they sat at the kitchen table he told her what he had
found in searching law enforcement records. "He died in prison.
About twenty years ago. I’m glad he’s dead, Connor. I’d have
to go to see him if he was alive, and I don’t want anything to do with
him, so it’s good he’s dead. It’s over; all over. They’re both
gone, but I know what happened, and that’s a good thing.
"I’ve got a birthday, Connor. July 14th. And I’m only fifty-one; that’s at least two years younger than I thought." He grinned at her. "Enough with the age jokes now. I’m just a kid, really."
He took her hand over the table, holding it in both of his. "I’ve got a last name, too. Reilly. John Reilly; but not Junior, I’ll never use the Junior. Feels kind of strange, you know, like it’s someone else. I’ll use it when I have to; I’ve made up last names when it was absolutely necessary to have one, and I’ve been in a lot of fights over not having one."
"I thought of something about your name." Sarah smiled and reached over the table to touch his face with her free hand. "I’ll bet ‘Johner’ is a baby-talk contraction for ‘John, Junior’. Your mom loved you, Johner. She used your own baby-talk name that you made for yourself, because she thought it was cute."
Johner looked up at her, and as he looked tears welled up in his eyes. His grip on her hand tightened, and his voice was husky when he spoke. "God, Connor---thank you!"
He stood up, came around the table, and picked her up in his arms. "Woh! What’s this?" She put her arms around his neck, snuggling into his embrace. He carried her into the living room and sat down on the sofa with her on his lap. "Connor, how do you know these things? Do you have any idea how much these ideas mean to me? How did you know what made me beat on Clifford Dexter? You just opened your mouth and told me that my father beat my mother. How did you do that?"
"I don’t know. It just came to me while you were telling me how good you felt while you were hitting him. Why would you feel good? I know you, Johner. You don’t feel good about hitting people any more. There had to be a reason. I don’t know---it just came to me."
"Well, thanks, babe. Finding out why it happened made all the difference. I’m not really sorry that I hit him, he had to be stopped. But I went too far, and it was the way I felt about it----Christ, Connor, I don’t want to take pleasure in hurting people. I did get off on it, for years, but I thought I had changed; then when it happened that night I thought that nothing had changed at all. God, I was sick about that. But I am different now, aren’t I, babe?" There was urgency and a little fear in his voice. "Aren’t I?"
"Of course you are! You’re a different man now. But remember what I told you, Johner. I love you without conditions. If you weren’t different, I’d love you still. You’re not ever going to get rid of me, babe. There’s nothing you could do that would get rid of me." She smiled brightly at him. "You might as well relax and enjoy it."
His arms tightened around her.
"I do, babe, I do."